To think most people on here are slightly unhinged?

I agree, I understand people are asking aibu and wanting different opinion's or suggestions but some people's replies are very judgemental and it feels personal!

People don’t always have the best intentions towards others on here: they’re here for entertainment. Many just love an unfolding drama that they can potentially add something too, or a confused/ less well educated poster that they can insult or manipulate. They’re here for entertainment, not good will.

And there’s nothing MN loves more than a relationship breaking up. They don’t want to see someone fannying around with couples therapy or giving someone another chance, even if it’s been a long and otherwise fine relationship. There was a thread yesterday where a poster had recently broken up with her partner (reason not mentioned!) and another poster said it had made her day to read that!

I’ve been here since day one. It was never any different. I don’t think it’s as funny as it used to be.

I agree OP. Some people on AIBU I think are just very sad and unkind people and unfortunately get a kick out of just being mean. It’s much easier to be behind a keyboard than it is IRL. Also I think it’s maybe easier to dehumanise people when you can’t see them and are just responding to a post. Many years ago I made a post on AIBU about my wedding and finances around it between myself and my OH splitting the wedding costs and people were honestly awful to me all because they didn’t think it was right the amount I was spending on my wedding (my post wasn’t about how much I was spending but rather the split between who was paying what) I even had someone say that I was an unfit mother because I was spending too much money on my wedding. For context my wedding was under the national average for what others spend and I had the money to spend it and wasn’t getting into any debt! People just derail the post and put their own agenda onto the OP. It’s very toxic.

Because you said you were a genuinely kind person yet you said we’re all unhinged!

If you use they/them as pronouns to conseal the gender of the singlular person you're talking about, either to hide their identity or stop gender bias, some people go fucking batshit and will massively derail any thread. 😅

Yes this sort of thing is kind of what I mean

As a pp says you will get a bunch of people who are absolutely literal in how they read posts that are really obviously jokes or lighthearted (the fact some people feel the need to clarify LIGHT-HEARTED says it all)

OP, I knew as soon as I read your words, ‘I’m a genuinely kind person’ that the usual suspects would be along quite swiftly to berate you for that! 😂

I take what I read on MN with a pinch of salt but I also think that for some people, being the first to race in with a snarky comment, is like a fun sport. I don’t know why but perhaps there are medals to be won in the Snark Olympics.

In my earlier days of MN, I once posted a light hearted thread about home cooking and it turned really nasty. I made a light hearted comment about people who like ketchup on roast dinners and within the hour I’d been called a stuck up bitch and someone even suggested I deserved to lose my friends - all because I thought gravy was better than ketchup.

They were just words on a page but I felt upset about all the abuse from strangers so it seemed easier to just delete the account and stay away. I worry sometimes when I see someone posting who appears to be a bit vulnerable. If you spot a pile on, the best you can do is jump in and say something supportive.

There are some truly awful people on here who will just argue black is white for the sake of it.

I don't think they are. I think most posters are compassionate, thoughtful and intelligent. But AIBU dominates the active discussion lists. If you head off into the gardening threads or what we're reading or even the slightly bonkers but extremely supportive stately homes thread or any of the new mothers posting anxiously about babies doing what babies do: crying, not sleeping, fussing over food etc, you will see evidence of kind, wise, generous advice everywhere.

If I ever need a soothing moment, I read the gardening threads - lots of lovely shared wisdom about seeds and harvesting and showing off favourite dahlias. It's a lovely corner of the internet.

Gosh, is it ‘it used to be nicer round here’ o’clock already?

I swear this is asked at least once a week.

But yes, OP, people on here are absolutely unhinged/kind/batshit/nasty. Just like in real life.

I think a lot of people on here are nasty because it’s an outlet for being generally being unhappy in life, or at least dealing with some form of unhappiness. I think many come on here with the intention to pick because it scratches an itch.

Completely agree with this.

Nice bit of misogyny there.
I clearly have no sense of humour.

Yes some people on here are certified nutters and are definitely very harsh. Outside of AIBU, the step parenting bored stands out as being quite mean. The baby name bored is actually the one I’ve had the best experience on by far! I thought (because of previous experience) I’d get flamed because all my kids have names that are music/musician themed - but I actually got great suggestions.

I also think people struggle with tone. I like to have a joke and a jest and I think it’s pretty apparent when I’m joking?? But people often take it seriously? I have taken to putting “lol” at the end of it but sometimes that doesn’t even work. Sometimes I show DH and ask him if he’d know it was a joke and every time he’s said it’s obvious.

I’ve been here since I was pregnant with my 23 year old. It was not nicer. It was a clique with some pretty horrible women who thought they owned the site.

I once read something about social media which said not everyone on it is mentally ill, but everyone who is mentally ill is on it.

Food for thought.

I think a lot of users have no sense of humour at all

The stereotypical mum can't understand jokes lady

I agree OP.

I read one the other day about a lovely step mum who was posting about her relationship with her stepson and it turned into an absolute pile on about how she was being neglectful to the stepdaughter because they (the poster and her DH) hadn’t bought the stepdaughter a horse.

It wasn’t even related to the original post and people responding were going on and on about horse riding lessons, not actually reading the OP’s replies when she was trying to defend the accusations, and posters generally being quite nasty.

All I could think was “Some of these posters are Bat Shit crazy!!!!”

Anyone can post anything as long as its within the guidance There is no requirement to be kind. If you ask aibu it's likely you will get pov from both sides. Amd maybe that's a good thing, if you ask is my bum fat in this in real life you don't get the truth

All I remember from 2011 is the likes of Anyfucker dominating every thread

There are lots of thoroughly unpleasant people on AIBU who love the opportunity to spout venom anonymously so they won’t be held to account. I am sure they wouldn’t say boo to a goose in real life.

Best to take AIBU with a hefty pinch of salt.

I've been here, on and off, for 15+ years and it was different.

I posted about some very difficult situations (the break up of my marriage and a very sensitive situation which caused me to go NC with my mother in the end) many years ago.

There was a range of opinions on both threads and they were both very long threads!

I received a lot of valuable reflections, some suggestions or advice that I rejected, some opinions that were inaccurate but understandable based on the fact they only had what I had said to go on and I couldn't be too specific, a few responses from people who were (for whatever reason) unable to comprehend the seriousness of the situation and a few people whose responses were based on projection of their own experiences. Overall, it was very helpful.

But, in several hundred posts, there was not a single unpleasant, nasty or hostile response. No one criticised me or asked what my part in either situation was. No one blamed for 'allowing' it to get that far or not cutting contact sooner. No one accused me of damaging my children or told me I was as much to blame.

In recent years, I've seen threads where women have posted about very similar scenarios and, whilst there have been lots of useful, helpful and reasonable responses, they have often been lost in the angry 'shouting', finger pointing and hostile misogyny.

I am more worried about the influx of disinformation by bots.

I agree. And God help you if you are a Mother-in-law or Stepmother on this site!

I think lots of people project their own experiences even if they are not really the same situation as the OP and others just make huge assumptions.

Sometimes it’s baffling the things people come up with then the OP spends the rest of the thread denying what people are assuming and defending themselves so the original problem doe not get addressed but the OP is just piled on. Then she gets vilified for “flouncing”.

I do call people out if they are being particularly vile.

I think unhinged is inaccurate. I am always surprised at how often people give their opinion, often not well founded, as fact. There are a couple of areas where I’d claim to have some professional expertise and I’m amazed at what passes for fact in some posts on these subjects. I’m therefore even more surprised when people ask for medical advice.