To think most people on here are slightly unhinged?

Yes I remember this. You got a sense of what the prolific posters were like and you knew before reading what their view might be and whether you would value their opinion. It made it more personal.

But now it feels anonymous and I don't notice posters names much, if at all. But that means I also don't really care anymore if someone disagrees with me personally.

There's all sorts on here really isn't there though? There's countless times when people only read the first post and even though the thread is 5 pages long and a massive drip feed that changes everything they're still replying to the info in the first post.

Then there's the people who pick up on the most insignificant and irrelevant detail in the OP's first post and bang on and on and on about completely refusing to just drop it and stick to the point BECAUSE THEY DESERVE AN ANSWER.

There's the posts where the OP is completely set on their own view and even though 100 people have disagreed with them they're still trying to convince everyone they're right. Finally there are the people who are a little bit vulnerable/possibly autistic and they get jumped on by the first person to reply which then leads to a complete pile on.

All that said though there are some really supportive lovely threads with lots of people sending someone positive thoughts when they have a job interview, or giving some really helpful financial advice, or really concerned about someone obviously struggling with MH issues. TBH MN is not my go to for advice, but it's still a fairly interesting place to be..

Perfectly put @blackheartsgirl .

"I've met the man on the street, and he's a cunt"

There is often a pattern to unkind or batshit responses I think. The first 5 or so responses usually set the tone for the reaction. If it's any way negative or cruel, subsequent posters often follow that theme and the pile on begins and often gets worse as the thread lengthens.

More considered initial responses can mean a more balanced and actually helpful thread that can help others too.

Since I am a MN user I cannot throw the first stone, but I think a lot of posters including me are introverts and prefer to "talk" anonymously. That is a double edged sword, since it is very easy to turn nasty or completely nuts and "let it all out" than in real life. The poor OP in such threads must often wonder why they asked in the first place! But it's a choice. Hence I don't start many threads - I'm a chicken 😊

I’ve been on mumsnet for 25 years in various guises and I think it’s changed.

Its still supportive, still interesting to read, thought provoking at times and entertaining like it’s always been but now there’s an undercurrent of nastiness on many threads which wasn’t there before or at least as much.

yes people always had different opinions and quite often the op had their arse handed to them on a plate but the different opinions were often expressed in a nicer more constructive way, often bluntly.

These days it’s nasty, bullying and quite frankly bonkers on many threads,

I also think mumsnet has become huge, it’s attracted attention from social media and the press and so you’re going to get posters that are attracted to mumsnet through these mediums and then it becomes a free for all.

🤣 This! So often posters literally fabricate parts of an OP to get themselves in a froth over. Even though it's there in black and white that the OP didn't say any such thing they will still insist that is the case.

I've been here years and it did used to be a lot calmer on the whole. I think Brexit really changed the tone. There certainly used to be a lot less hyperbolic, toxic nonsense back then. But I'm still here and this place still manages to make me laugh often so it can't be all that bad.

I've had great parenting advice in the past from mn, but it's best to word the OP without emotion. Admit to doing anything wrong on mn and there will be a pile on. The internet allows posters to just put anything they think, even if it's fleetingly without considering fully and reading the updates; it's the nature of it.

Need a thick skin for Mumsnet and patience to trawl through and there will always be non-judgemental helpful replies. Even here there's picking at the OP saying how she shouldn't call herself kind from people who don't know them.

Not everybody has empathy on the internet and it's just an excuse to have a go at someone when they can't in real life. Be prepared to ignore some nonsense if you start a thread.

@ThatWasJustANoise

I don’t think it’s defensiveness.

I think it’s pointing out the irony and / or disingenuousness of the wide eyed kind OP calling everyone else unhinged.

There are a lot of stupid people out there. 50% of the country is more stupid than average.

Because they're the people the thread about 😉

I started on MN when my (now) 20 year old had just been born. It was definitely a nicer place back then.

I wouldn’t call the vast majority unhinged no. AIBU is often the most clicked on threads and so you get a real spectrum of people commenting. From my experience I see some posts that clearly look like the person has an agenda or very negative outlook they wish to impose - I think perhaps a lot of those people are unhappy in rl and feel empowered online.
But the majority view I would say often contribute things that are very sensible - for example pointing out when someone is being selfish, entitled or actually clearly in the right and thus offering moral support or advice. You do see some posts that get totally derailed by agendas or a dominate negative poster but I wouldn’t say that many. Likewise I’ve been sadly invested in some posts that have been taken down by MN as untrue which I think breeds a high level of scepticism at times.
One thing I do notice is how many people post without even seeming to read the first OP. Let alone then the drip feed or another mumsnetter sensibly linking to previous posts by OP that totally undermine their initial argument. People will be in floods of outrage for an OP struggling with say a seemingly disrespectful child but actually if people had read the drip feed and previous posts they’d see that the Op was at best dysfunctional and at worst abusive.
You also get posts that clearly show differences in personality types.
But on the whole I wouldn’t say lots of people on here are unhinged, no!

"Unhinged" is a very unfortunate choice of words but I understand the point you are making. I don't agree though, I think most responses are genuine and relate to what the poster has asked. Some issues divide the arguments and although I usually disagree with one side, I understand that people have very varying life experiences that account for their views. Often though there is a lot of agreement which is heartening. Some people use language and terms I find unnecessarily crude or aggressive but that doesn't automatically mean I disagree with their views.

I think there are a few trolls or bitter people who like to wind things up for their own reasons. And its much easier to be forthright on an anonymous forum than in real life so some responses come off as maybe dismissive - but again, not necessarily "wrong" from my point of view.

@Sadworld, your assertion that most posters are "slightly unhinged" would have some weight had you the fundamental honesty to post under your usual username.

There is no reason, other than cowardice, not to do so.

Badly done, OP. Badly done.

Been here 13/14 years and it has always been like this.

I think there are some very unhappy people on here and they vent their unhappiness through being unpleasant to others.

There are also just some very unempathetic people here who can't seem to understand that other people have different personalities and experiences form them and will respond to events differently from them.

This made me laugh.

Why do some posters get defensive about threads like this? Mumsnet has a lot of decent people posting but definitely a lot of unhinged people.

Of course they are – but not to the same degree as on here, or even close. And it's grown in severity, as evidenced by the multiple posts on the subject per month.

Another issue is that OP's just can't speak colloquially or casually anymore – their language is ripped apart and it's it's completely unnecessary. Using the words 'crazy / batshit / unhinged' when talking about unacceptable behaviour you simple don't understand with a friend is complete unremarkable. It's just every day, colloquial language.

And that's ths truth👆 😂

The level of projection is insane sometimes. An OP will share examples of a friend or family member's hurtful behaviour, asking for advice. A few posters will then get themselves worked up by insisting that OP is, in fact, an awful person who must have provoked the behaviour by doing X, Y and Z, even if there is nothing in her posts to suggest this whatsoever.

Yes, there's two sides to every story, but in lieu of hearing the other side, a baseless fantasy by someone who's never met the OP does not fill the knowledge gap.

I think a lot of people self censor in real life, but don’t bother with it on mumsnet, it’s refreshing sometimes, it’s a change from social diplomacy and fake nice polite opinions.

Ive seen some really kind supportive threads and found mumsnet to be really helpful myself, but you have to understand it’s all random people, you will never know who they are, you have no social contract with them, some people are absolute gems with hearts of gold being generous to strangers, others have had half a bottle of pinot and are bored.

@Sadworld

“It is a bit arrogant to label yourself 'genuinely kind' and other posters 'batshit', that doesn't sound very kind to me.”

I agree with this.

I don’t think you are as kind as you say you are 🤔🧐

I would go further than "unhinged", all the way to "barking mental". I have been on Mumsnet for a good 20 years now, it has always been like this.

The flavour changes occasionally, and the topics cycle through. But the crazies are a constant.

Love em. You would be mad to rely on Mumsnet for anything sensible. But they do make for amusing reading.

Yes - I joined in 2001 when my ds was born. There was so few of us on it then and certainly everyone was a lot more restrained in how/what they wrote. It was brilliant. Life was a bit slower back then.

Calling them unhinged is being nice.

I invite you for a wander through the holiday board. Someone innocently asked where they could get vegan fish and chips to eat on the coast. You would think that the OP had asked where they could procure a baby for sacrifice.

The hate, teeth gnashing and frothing that is still going on is unbelievable (and also quite hilarious).

So yes, there are a lot of people on here that are completely batshit.