Pissed off over photos

Agree. Nice quirky shots are the best.
Also you’ll look at them loads for a few years and then when you realise you need them for their 18th birthday, you have no idea where most of them are.

But I hear you. DH cannot take a good photo of me and its annoying when I make sure he looks good in them.

You sound hard work

I don’t think it’s that. I’ve seen several comments over the years that say the child won’t remember their 1st birthday which is massively true!
1 years olds are non compliant (with a photo) because they are curious and want to explore what’s going on.

sorry but your post sounds massively entitled, and I’m not surprised your behaviour has been described as unreasonable!
There are families in this country whose babies sadly don’t make their first birthday!

YANBU

I know how you feel. You're not spoilt, you just wanted someone to take the time to get one decent photo of you and your DD on her actual birthday.

Lots of people, when asked to take a picture, just do a quick snap and never mind if it's nice or not. Then they say it looks nice because they can't be bothered to take it again, literally just can't do another few seconds where they say "wait a minute... your DD was looking away... I'll do another one..."

I would recommend you either having a professional photo taken, or if not, rope in your best chance at a good photo for this week (ie your most sympathetic friend/family member), do your hair etc, and have DD's first birthday cards and/or her main present from you (or at least her current favourite soft toy) in the background, to tie it to "the occasion of her first birthday". If you phrase it as that in your mind, it will lessen the sting of not getting a good shot on her actual birthday.

Dress her in her birthday outfit and wear what you were wearing at the party, too. These details will tie it to her first birthday as well. because it's not just the good photo, it's looking back on what the fashion was at the time, the style of the birthday cards etc- all these date a photo and are meaningful details.

Quite. I understand why you are disappointed, but the fact is (and I say this as a very good amateur photographer, is I do say so myself) that most people are lousy at taking photos. Instead of just accepting that you deleted the nice ones you took? That solved the problem didn't it? How sad that you allowed your disappointment to turn into nasty bitterness. I hope that isn't how you will treat your daughter when she disappoints you.

Oh give over.

Please don’t overshadow your child’s life with your own insecurities and drama. My mother did, and it was not pleasant.

This

Taking a really good photograph is not easy. You need to set it up. appearance, hair background. Most cameras cope with lighting far better than older technology. But mostly sitter and photographer have to be a bit patient.
At least get a friend to come and take time with you and baby. Or get a pro.

edit; that was my first mansplain today😎

Because I was busy sorting everything out and making sure everyone was happy, fed, watered, y’know like most mom’s are doing at their kids parties while her father sat on his arse? Because I wasn’t really thinking about what was going on in all the busyness? Because it wouldn’t cross my mind not to take the important people’s pictures so that it didn’t cross my mind nobody would? Because I’m not really a person to push myself forward for a photo?

That enough reasons for you? 🙄

It was only after everyone had left and I had a moment to myself that I realised.

I understand OP. I suspect the people having a go at you here have plenty of nice photos of birthdays and day to day and don’t understand that it can feel sad to be the only one without a nice photo with you.

I’m the photo taker in the family but looking back at albums DH and DC are everywhere - action shots, quiet moments, portraits, whereas I barely feature in them - like I have some very peripheral part of DC’s life. The way kids take photos you need to take 20 to get one really great one, and there’s only a handful that I love of me and my DCs, and they’re all selfies.

If it was me Id have handed my own phone to someone like my mum or my sister who i could trust and said "get a really nice one of me & the baby" and looked at it after and said "ah no that's rubbish lets do it again!" If i was really bothered

No one minds that as long as its not that you are trying to achieve perfection requiring 10 takes

Yanbu.
I absolutely would be pissed off.
No one could be arsed?
Even the babies father?
You need to start looking after yourself.

Motherhood is too often about doing everything and looking after everyone but yourself.

Mind your baby, but start matching everyone's energy.
See if you can get a nice shot today of the two of you.

I completely get where you are coming from. You made the effort to take nice photos and it feels like noone cared enough to do the same for you.
I think it's true the camera doesnt lie. My ex manages to take the most god awful photos of me when we have joint events. My best friend takes photos how I am - I figure she loves me and doesn't see the need to go for the best version and I think I do the same to her tbh.

No, I 100% get it.

1. It IS a milestone for mum as much as for the baby. The mother birthed the child a year ago, a one year old is not going to remember the party (except by the photos taken...)

2. It is ALWAYS the mums running around getting great shots of other people and no one can be bothered to spend 1 minute to get a nice, non blurry photo of the mum. This lends itself to a dynamic where mums are treated basically as unpaid help and ALSO are pretty much erased from family albums. I bet OP is the one who organised the party, planned it, arranged it etc.

3. Either getting nice photos on big occasions is meaningful or it's not. It cant be meaningful for everyone except OP. It would be like not having any nice, propper photos of the mother of a bride.

But because nobody had bothered, when I had. It hurt.

But not everyone is bothered about masses of photos of people? Lots of people are there in the moment, chatting and focussing on the people around them, and don't mind if there isn't a photo afterwards. Other people don't have to have the same priorities as you and its not that they aren't thinking of you, or aren't bothered, it simply doesn't occur to them to take a photo in the middle of a party.

Lots of us don't have instagram or tiktok or facebook, we don't take loads of photos

I dont think you’re being unreasonable to want a good pic of you and your daughter on her first birthday!?
Ive sort of had this experience, too, at family events where im running around hosting and am not in any/many pics myself and it does make me feel a bit sad.
I always try and take lovely pics of mums and their kids because I’ve really noticed how much it means to people. A couple of weeks after I had my first a friend took some nice ones of us together and looking back, she was pretty much the only person who did! I have other pics but they were just quick snapshots and she took real care over it. Really loved her for that.

I haven’t seen anyone saying photos from your child’s first birthday mean nothing. Your comments here sound as though you always twist things and take offence where none is intended.

I get how you feel - just wanting a bit of respect from other people and thoughtfulness. Like others have said arrange a photo shoot for you and your child

Oh for goodness sake.Listen to yourself. Grow up and stop with the woe is me

OP - I totally get this and you are NOT being unreasonable. When my children were young I took so many photos, gorgeus ones of my family and friends and it's like a literal archive of their formative years. I feature in about 3 of these photos (I am quite old so before selfies were a thing) because my DH never bothered taking any with me in it and the ones he did bother to take are horrible of me. I have none of me pregnant with my son and it pisses me off so much (he's 20 and I probably should get over it ;)

Lol glad it's not just me

I'll start this by saying I have a life limiting condition, which I think gives me a different perspective on a lot of things. You've deleted precious photos of people you love with your DD? You did this because you were angry they didn't get a good photo (in your opinion) of what was your DD's birthday. Get a fucking grip.

But that doesn’t add up as there were lots of photos taken of said baby that were deemed good/lovely and album worthy. Surely people were holding the baby in those photos as well.

As @DarklingIlistensaid upthread. OP wants curated / insta ready pics that just need a bit of editing.

Some people look crap in photos. It happens. Nobody is against anyone and withholding photos of others with the baby or deleting them is actually ridiculous and childish.

@ChubbyBoobs456- if it really means that much to you why not put the party clothes back on and ask your partner to try and take a decent photo when nobody else is around. Baby might be more settled.

I get it OP. I hope you find someone in real life who cares enough to listen to you 💐