Pissed off over photos

Instagram generation. It’s all about the photos. 🙄

OP sounds rather young...

You will have scrutinised the photos with you in them. The guests that took them will probably only have looked at the child.

We’ve all had photos taken where we look bad. I do think you’re being a tad dramatic - no-one was thinking about making sure you looked great in photos of your daughter’s birthday.

Bit OTT isn't it ?

Well, I’m with you OP.
I have plenty of lovely photos of the family - husband, children, grandchildren and friends because I have realised the ‘moment’ and captured it. However, there are rarely any pics of me on those occasions because no one else seems bothered to take them.
Sometimes I ask my husband to take a photo, but by the time he’s faffed with his phone, the moment is lost.
I’m not vain, nor do I need to be the centre of attention. I just want a reminder of an event or a special time spent with the people I care about.

Photo martyrs are such hard work. Look at all the BACK-BREAKING work I did at the party getting photos of you all, all because I CARE so much, and the fact that no one took photos of me means no one CARES as much as I do. Give over.

Photos aren't a necessity. It's 50/50 whether any given person even likes having photos taken of them - I definitely don't assume everyone wants their picture taken. The same people usually end up taking the photos at most social events and that's because they enjoy it - I have one friend who's responsible for probably 75% of the photos of our group over the past 15 years and she doesn't behave like a martyr, because she does it on account of enjoying it. If you want a photo taken of you just ask, it takes a few seconds (although if you're squirming around trying to get the perfect pose for a full minute, maybe that's why no one was offering).

Yep, and you've got plenty more years of this to come.

The person who generally takes the photos are rarely in any good ones- most of mine have a side shot of me or someone took my picture from a distance or something. Unfortunately it’s something you have to get used to, I treasure pictures I find of my dad as he was the photographer and barely in any (and selfies weren’t a thing obviously!).

It is not ALWAYS the mums running round, some of us have equally responsible partners, able to share workload.

My DH is a vastly better photographer than me, always has been.

Welcome to motherhood. I have thousands of photos of my child including sweet ones I’ve taken with loved ones but any decent ones of me and her are selfies.

But if she doesn't have any pictures for Instagram the event may as well not have happened!

So people actually think deleting or not sending other people nice photos put of spite is perfectly reasonable. Right!

It’s not a cruel spin it’s perspective!!!
Great attempt to try and make me feel shit though!

These days you can take your own photos. The key is to actually taken a
video and screen shot a photo from it.

I totally get you OP, a first bday party is a special occasion. You bust a gut getting nice pics of ur DD for others but no one did the same for you. I think if you have friends and family who don’t think in the same way as you you need to be really explicit in your requests at the next party. Say please take a few and have someone make boo faces behind the camera so your DD looks the right way and smiles. Then vet the photos and do it again if not good enough. It’s important, so take charge and be a bit of a diva about it if needed, if that’s what u want u might need to push a bit harder for it. It does suck I know - I have soooo many pics of others and my hubby with my kid, if I hadn’t perfected the art of the “selfie with others in the background” I wud literally not exist in the photo history! Good luck at the next bash.

Photos are.important! One day they will be all you have or they have to look back on
Im not saying this to be morbid but i lost my mom suddenly she was only 41
Today is the anniversary and im glad someone took photos of me with her growing up.theres not many but the baby ones especially mean the world to me now

“Anyway, I've been told, I'm unreasonable and photos from my child's first birthday mean nothing.”

Oh do stop being so overdramatic OP! I get that a 1st birthday is a milestone in a child’s upbringing but you picking fault with other people for not taking a decent photo of you and your child is just………..childish!

No one is saying that the 1st birthday means nothing………there’ll be countless opportunities for posed photos in future and to be honest many of the nonchalant shots are more charming and meaningful than mummy sitting on the sofa with baby on her knee looking into the camera like a couple of soulless mannequins.

Not to say petulant.

Yep, that's exactly what everyone told you here, verbatim!

Its difficult though, what with everyone having to have sent there photos off to be developed, then wait a few days, only to get them back and find there were no good ones of you.

Hopefully in the distant future, everyone will have some kind of instant camera in their pocket (could potentially be paired with another useful device like a telephone or web browser) that allows them to review a picture the second it's taken. That way someone who was particularly fussy about having a good shot of themselves could ask for another one to be taken if they weren't happy!

To all those people saying their partners don’t take photos of them; send them this song. m.youtube.com/watch?v=rAlzpKGiytU&pp=ygURMzUgcGljdHVyZXMgb2YgbWU%3D

I think people are being swayed by the fact you deleted the other photos.

Apart from that bit I get what you’re saying OP and can see why you’re disappointed.

I have literally no pictures of me and DD from when she was born, or in fact many at all even now, because no fucker ever thinks to take pictures of us.

DP doesn’t think, takes few pictures anyway.

In this respect I’m always the fucking afterthought.

This.

I'm not a photo person but I understand what OP is saying. She has put in a big effort for everyone else but no-one has reciprocated.

Photos are a big deal to OP and it hurts her that no-one has recognised that to make sure there is a decent photo of her and her child.

I think it’s not unreasonable to want a nice photo of you with your DD on her 1st bday. Photos are all we have left one day and it will be nice for OP’s child to look back on in the future. I don’t have one photo of my dad and I as adults, because we were always the people who took the photos. My mum claims she can’t take photos (and to be fair her photos are a bit rubbish) but it is upsetting when that parent has gone and you realise you only have a handful of photos and they were during childhood. It’s nice to just ask mums ‘do you want me to take one of you and baby’.

Deleting photos is petty, keep them for your child, even if you don’t send them out.

She's allowed to feel sad and pissed off about this without thinking about dead babies. That's a really cruel spin to put on the situation.