Pissed off over photos

Maybe you just don’t look good in photos? However hard I or the photographer try I always look shit in photos. You might be the same without realising it.

So there were photos of you and DD, you just didn't like them. If baby was being passed from person to person for the perfect photo I'm not surprised they were bored or crying by the end.
Why did you need a perfect photo rather than a natural one?
Refusing to send photos and deleting them is really childish. If this is enough to ruin your night you're in for a rough time as your DD grows up.
It's not a big deal in the scheme of things

A real shame - agree it does matter! Similar for me as I am sufficiently ancient to have grown up pre-digital; we are fortunate to live in a time when photos can be taken in abundance rather than limited to a camera film.

I read in the OP that there was only a handful of her hence my reference to her not having many pictures. If there were more than a handful then there may well have been more of a chance of one that the OP liked.

@ChubbyBoobs456 have a read of the Zawn article I’ve linked above, if you can - it expresses and analyses this really well, and the responses you’re receiving are pretty much playing out what the article says. Wanting the photographs to reflect the reality of who is in your child’s life is a perfectly understandable feeling, and it’s a shame that some people think it’s doing a disservice to your daughter for you not to circulate the photos of others with her but it’s apparently totally fine for her not to have many pictures of you.

Oh, for God's sake! Grow up!

@Theringcycle

I would also like them to know that someone else loved me and them enough to make sure they had that.

In all honesty do you think if your children look at a photo of them and you together they actually think " oh somebody must have loved us to take this photo " ???

The view being expressed on this thread by some pp that taking a photo of someone is a symbol of caring, and , conversely not taking a photo is a sign people don't care about you is just so strange. I've never heard of people talk in these terms. I know some people are obsessive photo takers but I never realised it had such emotional symbolism for them. Really quite an eye opener to me. A totally different world.

Also I have literally NO photos of me and my mother except 1 when I am 16.It does matter!

Op it sounds like you feel undervalued and guests/ partner not bothering to get a nice shot of you is proof of this for you.I totally get your response in that case. It annoys me that I have to ask my DH to take a photo of me when I have so many I have taken of him with the children as they have grown up. I wonder if you communicated this clearly on the day though? If not wait until you are calm and really spell out how important this is to you and what you would like to happen in the future.

People took photos, they just weren't up to OPs standards.

If you care, you take pics.

Oh my goodness we live in a warped world if people really judge whether someone cares about them by whether they take a photo of them or not.

Can you really not remember people or places or events unless you have photographic evidence?

Modern technology is fast destroying the brain's wonderful ability to do many things and it's creating generations who apparently have no ability to hold memories in their heads .

Your posts are coming across as dramatic and tantrum-y, OP. But there is a tendency for mums (and other women in a family) to make more of an effort to capture photos and not ending up in enough of them as a result. It's frustrating.

Stop deleting photos or refusing to send anyone photos of them with your DD - all you're doing is chipping away at/dishonoring their relationship with your DD, and more than anything that's not fair to DD.

Keep asking people to take pictures of you and DD (and talk to your partner if you have one and/or parents if they're very close about how important it is to you). But stop holding out for the perfect photo of either you or DD and just embrace the reality that pics where DD is squirming away or distracted or you're "in-action" doing three things at once are part of capturing this stage of life.

My best tip for babies/toddlers though is to turn your phone on video mode and then have people pretend to take pictures for DD's sake (and if they have an iphone they can do pics while videoing). Then you can go through the videos and look for the perfect still frame to crop.

It’s exactly this.

I am indeed a mother, and I would like my children to have lots of photos of me to look back on, especially ones that show me enjoying my time with them. I would also like them to know that someone else loved me and them enough to make sure they had that.

Agree with all of this lovely post. As the photos are what root us to the point in time and inform our memories and are what our children will have to look back on, they matter - and it matters and makes a difference if someone else recognises this importance and wants you to be captured in joy and love. Taking a photo of someone in a way that they would like to be remembered is an act of love that you absolutely deserve.

oh please

I like looking at photos of my grand-mother, my mum. There's nothing new.
Of course photos of YOU with your children is important.

if no one bothers to take a photo of you then they don't actually care about you. that's true enough. If you care, you take pics.

It' s sad, but far too common that photos of children, photos will all the family members EXCEPT the mum are always taken - because it's mum who takes them all.

Ignore the bitter posters

It's far too common that there are no photos of the mum. You need to start taking selfies, or make sure your partner/ sister, ONE person takes photos of you.

Photos ARE important, and you make the effort of taking them, people must be like posters here and don't think.

You are not unreasonable. One day the children look at photos, and they don't have any of their own mum. It's sad. Sadly it takes a special effort.

At least now you know what to expect, it will be the same every year. Organise something (someone) to make sure it doesn't happen.

If you are a mother surely it's the photos of your children that are important?
Why do you need to be in the photos yourself?
Why are people so obsessed with needing seeing photos of themselves?
You seem to be actually saying that if no one bothers to take a photo of you then they don't actually care about you. That's a very strange way to judge your value to others.

I know from experience that taking photos of people at events can be a very thankless task.

There will often be one or two people who think they look hideous in perfectly normal snaps, and will blame the hapless photographer, who was just doing what one does when taking snaps - pointing the phone or camera, framing the shot and clicking.

To everyone else, the subjects in the photo just look like themselves, but the hyper-critical one is convinced they're far better-looking in real life than the camera has recorded.