Pissed off over photos

Let me guess you wanted photos for social media and the photos that where taken aren't of your best side. So you focused all your time and energy on getting the perfect Instagram pic to the point people got sick of taking photos of you instead of doing what you should of been doing which is enjoying your daughters birthday and making it about her.

Well that's a needless hissy fit if ever I saw one 🙄

Mildly disappointing. That’s all. It’s your baby's milestone, not yours. Get someone to take photos of you with the baby tomorrow if it’s that important to you, though I bet you’ve got loads already. One days's difference in her age really is not important.

Deleting photos of other people in revenge is childish and petty.

I would be pissed off too. These days it’s very easy to get a great photo that 25 years ago would have been almost impossible - everyone has a smart phone, they could have taken one of you and DD and then showed you it and said how’s that? And if it was no good, heaven forefend, take a few more to get a good one.

so yes, I would be pissed off

They probably did take nice snaps, which didn't meet the OP's standard 🤔

YANBU OP I get it. I totally get where your coming from. My husband hates having his photo taken and I respect that but in turn I have to ask him occasionally to take photos of me with our kids and he will often just snap and then not actually look/notice and say oh wait your eyes were closed then let me take another. I have a friend who always tries to take lots of photos of me with my kids when we hang out and I love her for that. She says mums never have enough photos of them with theirs kids and she always tries to get some.

Can you have a convo with your child's dad about how you want some nice photos with you and your kid occasionally (it's not being self centred at all). Mums are often the main carer and yet currently in my holiday photos it looks like I never got in the pool with them and am the boring one (I've asked my husband next time he gets out the pool for a ciggie to please take some photos of me with the kids... Hasn't happened yet but I will remind him without it being a row but it does wind me up).

Congrats on your first year of parenthood lovely x

Why do you need photos that are staged and not naturally in the moment? By posing for them, surely baby gets irrated and bored?

You do sound unreasonable. Just enjoy life in the moment.

70 people so far agree with you OP , and don’t think YABU….

I feel your pain op. mine are teens now but I have absolutely no photos of me in the moment with either of my dc because no one fkin thought to take a photo of me their mother with them, yes lots of shots of everyone else with them because I was the one behind the camera but absolutely none of me. the odd rare photo I do have is because I asked dp or my mother to take which they reluctantly did but the shot was always posed and not in the moment and took at a shit awful angle so is crap. I just wanted someone to think and recognise a lovely moment between mother & child and take a one second snap shot but no it never happened, even after I mentioned it time & time again.
It really upset me that I'd have a camera roll full of grandma hugging dc or a lovely photo of their dad playing with them so I stopped taking them as it hurt that it was always someone else in the shot and not me.
why does no one think to to ever take snapshots of mums with their child. I certainly will with my own dd if she becomes a mother one day.
Even typing this has made me annoyed that I didn't ever get the lovely photos I'd have treasured.

I'm sorry no one thought it was important to make the effort to get a good photo of you with her on her first birthday.

I don’t think natural photos are the ones OP wanted…

Its posed for insta ones I think.

I agree though, a natural laugh or looking at each other is far nicer.

Who did you ask to take pictures of you?

I think natural photos, not posed are often better as they capture the moment better. It’s those natural photos that I look back at and smile because they show my children for who they were at that age and that wasn’t children who sat and posed for the perfect photo.

I hope you and your daughter did manage to have a nice day despite this, don’t let anything spoil it. I think we often build up events like this and so want them to be perfect, tensions can run high and we can be left feeling annoyed over things that aren’t a huge deal, or that are masking the real issue, in this case that you feel taken for granted in general.

You are being unreasonable and quiet spiteful to erase good shots of others. Your daughter might like to see all of those people later .
A reasonable response would be that you keep all nice photos and the not so nice ones of yourself too.
Then ask a good friend, who takes great photos, to visit your home within a few weeks to photograph you and your daughter in the birthday clothes with some flowers in colour tonings to enhance the two of you. (You partner could also be included.)
First Birthday photos are special but your reaction went too far. It's no one's fault that your photos were not up to standard. .
And have you asked all guests to search their phones for any good shots of you both on the day?

If high quality photos are that important to you for specific events then do look into hiring a photographer. It's more affordable than you might think and will really elevate the pictures that you get. You'll be supporting a local business which goes a long way! You'll have lovely ones of you and baby, and if the guests too and most importantly it will save you all this stress. You'll be feeling great about it and can get oodles of kudos when you share them as well! Win win!

A handful is plenty….hie long do you think the child should pose for? Until mummy has edited and airbrushed them all, loading them on insta , got sufficient likes, so that means it’s the right photos!

I think possibly what some people are missing is that there were photos of OP, she just didn’t like how she looked in them.

And as revenge for that, she’s now withholding photos of her baby with other family members.

I’m sorry, but I do think it’s pretty spiteful.

I understand the desire to have photos, I really do. And yes, as mothers we’re often the ones who feature least in photos, for various reasons.

I think if no one took any photos of OP with her baby, OP could reasonably be upset. But that’s not the case.

I think @DarklingIlisten nailed it when she said that OP carefully curates her photos - but that’s impossible to do when you’re trying to have a photo taken with babies/children!

My DC are both autistic and they know I like a photo with them on their birthday. They hate it but indulge me. But it’s one and done. DP takes the shot and it is what it is 😂🫣 It’s rarely flattering but it’s me with my DC. And that’s honestly enough.

OP, you can take a lovely flattering selfie with your baby another day. Look back at your photos tomorrow and see if you can’t see them for what they are: a lovely moment captured at your child’s birthday. People take photos differently - some people literally point and snap rather than spending ages setting up the shot as you’d want.

You say some of the photos of you aren’t acceptable because you’re talking or DD isn’t looking directly at the camera. I think they sound lovely and natural!

I get you @ChubbyBoobs456
The first year is so hard, you made it and you just wNt some pics to capture the special day. Get someone to take some pics of you and your bub with a cupcake and have a nice pic to remember. You probably put a lot of energy into the day itself and that likely didn't help. In future just ask for pics of you and bub/family to be taken first. Better yet, hire a pro to do it.
FWIW I've got pics of the day AND the next because baby was obv tired and pics weren't working, so I dressed baby up again with a few prezzies the next day.

I think this might be the most self-centred post I’ve seen on here. It also comes across like OP is not just resentful of the guests, but her own baby.

Get a really nice photo of you both tomorrow. Even if it's a selfie. Maybe you can even get ChatGPT to combine it with one of today's photos to get the birthday party background in it.

Many many years down the track, when today's drama is long forgotten, you (and after you, your DC) will still have that lovely photo to enjoy.

One other thing, from someone old enough to have the first half of her life captured on film rather than digitally - those photos of yourself that you hated? You'll look back when you're old and think how great you looked. Don't delete them all!

You’re really not listening to people are you?