Pissed off over photos

No one has deliberately wronged you. You chose to place importance on having photos that look a specific way. To others it’s not so important . Try not to focus on others so much and just enjoy the day with your child. It’s not your responsibility to take good photos of others and vice versa.

@ChubbyBoobs456 YANBU ♥️

Exactly this.

There are plenty of photos of you with your baby, you just don't like any of them.
You could have asked your partner or your mum or a sibling to take photos then check them to make sure you were happy with them and retake. I do sometimes with my mum if I want a nice photo (not every single photo she takes!)

Get used to it OP, Mum’s are always behind the camera or buy yourself a selfie stick as no other bugger is going to bother.

Learn to live in the moment. Never mind the stupid photos - surely if you’ve got nice pictures of your baby, that’s all that matters.

I'm older and I get so depressed by this whole “living life as an anticipated memory “ attitude.

Yanbu op.

The photo is important so I'd put the same outfits on yourself and your child and just MAKE your husband take one good one so you have it for the album

I get your point, OP. I also am in the company of those whose husbands take awful photos or no patience to wait a few moments for a good shot. Whenever it is a photo moment for DH and DC I take several shots and one or two of those is usually pretty good (from a collection of ten for example). DH is opposite with me I have to sometimes ask for him to take a photo. He never spots a photo opportunity. It’s not for sharing or social media it’s for myself only and to have a nice memory of the moment.

DH will take one only and it’s no thought to the timing of pressing the button on the phone. So I look dreadful in all photos these days. Usually my mouth is hanging open or I have a weird expression on my face and I look awful.

We're not. In the grand scheme of things, photos really don't matter. It's the memories that count.

I've got some albums I made with photos DP took when the DCs were small. No one has ever cracked them open in about a decade! Including me.

I've also lost loads of old photos through upgrading phones. They probably still exist in the cloud somewhere, but I haven't looked for them because I don't miss them. Having had the experience at the time was enough - I don't need a souvenir.

Absolutely does not. But this is the typical mumsnet response, isn't it?! To kick the mother down regardless. It's a fucking forum to talk absolute shite on, not a place to solve world hunger or stop war.

I am sorry that you didn't get a nice photo, OP. Can you put yourselves in the same outfit and get one tomorrow? If not, don't worry. Just make sure you pose for a photo with your lovely baby next time you can. Keep checking the photos until you have a nice one and just keep getting them to take another until you do. Try not to beat yourself up x

You really need to calm down. Just hit someone to take a picture of you and dd if having one for her first birthday means so much to you. It really doesn't have to be at the party.

This has just reminded me of a former best friend. We went on a beach holiday in our twenties. We had good pics together since they were taken by a waiter or someone we had asked, and she had good solo pics from my camera posted to Facebook because I didn’t post the dud ones, like if made her look as if she was making a weird face or her eyes were half shut.

She OTOH posted everything with me in it so carelessly. So you’d get a nice one of me posing but then another 3 before that of me squinting or talking.

i asked her to take all the bad ones down, she said I was making a fuss and I said fine - I’ll just upload the ones of you I didn’t initially.

She was so shocked when she seen the whole lot, she seemed to think she was naturally photogenic and perfectly posed for every shot. What she hadnt realised all these years I’d been selective with the ones I’d posted of her.

She then agreed to take down the ones I didn’t want it I’d remove hers too😂

It was one of those moments that really helped me see the nature of our friendship. I was focused on making her look good, whereas she was careless about showing me in my best light. It wasn’t just this one incident btw but that was the final straw.

Sounds like the poor baby spent most of the party with you passing her around and posing her for photos.

Enjoy the moment. Take snaps as they happen but don’t waste the whole time trying to pose the baby for perfect pictures

I'd feel the same as you OP. Im never in photos with my kids (unless its selfies) because no one thinks to take them. And if I ask, I get eye rolls as if im being a princess and the quickest snap possible without even making sure we're both smiling, looking the sane direction, eyes open etc. Its hurtful. They appreciate the photos I take of them so I dont understand why they cant do the same back, or understand why I want them!

It ruined her night because nobody thought enough about her to think what it would mean to her to have a nice photo of her celebrating her daughters first birthday and take 2 minutes to take a nice one.

Come off it - OP said the pics with baby are unflattering because they didn’t wait for her to get baby settled, and weee taken while she was trying to settle baby/ mid speech etc.

When I take my candids of mums out and about, it can take a good couple of minutes to get one or two nice shots of both mother and child. It just takes someone caring and waiting until the child is settled again and the mum looks calm.

My childhood memories are mainly of my SAHM mother but she’s not in many of the photos- she was always the one behind the camera, although she was the one taking me to school, baking, doing my hair, getting me dressed, organising Christmas, birthdays - everything really. I wish my father had been bothered to capture the memories with her, I can’t actually remember what she looked like during my childhood.

It matters. Mothers are important, this period of motherhood should be captured and mothers shouldn’t be made to feel selfish or vain for also wanting photos of themselves during this all-encompassing period of our lives.

I always offer to take a picture when I see a mum of little kids out and about with their kids and there’s a good photo opportunity - I get lovely candid ones that look professional. I have not had one mum refuse the offer yet- they have always been very grateful and I get told that that they rarely have pictures taken of them- it’s a very common issue. In my real life experience the dismissiveness on this thread is not actually common- or maybe posters forget what it’s like having babies and toddlers but not feeling valued: celebrated.

Yeah I initially thought perhaps op is being BU but I’m undecided tbh now after reading further.

OP, is this part of a wider pattern of disrespect? Was your husband not able to take a good pic of you ?

I wanted to read this article but the link is not working/opening for me. anyone else having the same issue? x

OP, I'm a single mother and about 95% of my photos with my child are selfies as no-one else is around to take them. I'm not bothered, I have nice memories either way. In one of my favourite shots, you can see right up my nostrils, but my child and I are doing a fun activity together. I'm sure we will laugh at it when they are older.

If you want a good photo, you have to actually tell people exactly what you want. Some people are just rubbish at taking pictures or care less about them. Don't be petty and get rid of the good ones with others. They like your child enough to come to the party and will hopefully have a good relationship with them as they grow which is more important than a photo.

What I did after a similar first bday experience is to take the pictures I want just before the people come over to the party - kid isn’t tired and overwhelmed yet, everything is arranged nicely, there’s time for my husband (or a relative we told to come over earlier than the others for picture taking purposes) to get the shots I want. After that I just enjoy the party and whoever wants to take pictures is their problem how good (or not) they are

Although OP has said she isn’t returning to the thread - I agree with most that she is being unreasonable. I realized quickly if I wanted good photos of me and the kids I would need to specifically ask/remind DH or my sister to take them (and say “please make them good”, check the photo on the spot and ask for another one to be taken if it was too awful).

Otherwise I would hire a professional photographer to hover in the background for an hour or so and take pictures, and be clear that I wanted lots of me and DH interacting with DC. I’d also ask the photographer to get good pics of DC with grandparents, aunts, cousins etc. then share the lovely professional pics after which was always appreciated. This is because at a party or whatever everyone is busy enjoying themselves (as they should be!) not focusing on getting perfect pictures of mum and baby. It’s not a reflection on them or you! Deleting all pics out of spite seems over the top and petty.

I understand, there are very few pictures of me and my eldest when they were very young, I sometimes feel sad about it still.

But please consider sending the pictures. Over the last couple of years my husband and I have both had to help clear out deceased relatives’ houses, and we both said that finding out they had kept albums / old pictures of us with them as children incredibly comforting. The relatives may never print them off, but they might, and they may be special to your dc one day.

I love this ❤️