Friend said she can see I've gained weight

This happened to me. I ran into an acquaintance (we're not really friends although I have known her a long time). After a couple of minutes of small talk, she stepped back, looked me up and down and said loudly "My, you HAVE put weight on!" I looked down at my not remotely overweight figure, shook my head and said ruefully, "I know. Every time I fuck your husband he gives me a slice of cake."

What a horrible, horrible friend. She clearly has an issue with weight and was projecting it onto you.

This might come across as quite tacky, so please forgive me if it lands badly. I've just had a recent weightloss/'glow up' and it has brought the weird out in some people! You say you want to lose weight, and I have a little gem brewing in my brain.

Without mentioning anything, start your weightloss, brillification plan and every time you feel tempted to go off track, to overindulge, to skip a walk, to give in to a sugar craving..

Think of her.

In a few months time, enough time to get to target, meet up with her. Turn up with your maximum style. Get your hair done. A spray tan, nails done. Get a new outfit to show off your new figure.

Then tell her, 'I just want to thank you for the wake up call. You were right. I went home and thought about what you said and realised that yes I did need to lose weight. Because of your comment, I've lost x stone and have never felt better! Thank you!'

Then sashay off and fade out your friendship with her.

When I was 19, I was clinically obese and a car full of boys drove past as I walk to the shop, and shouted out the window "look at the size of that arse!". I went home and cried and cried and honestly the next day, I was like right! That's it! I lost stones and stones of weight and kept it off mostly, until I had kids. Now ive finished having babies, I decided to reclaim my figure. Roughly 20 years after thos boys prompted me to lose 4.5 stone, and I'm now back to a size 8 again and I will tell you that it was psychological tricks and motivations like that, that kept me going!

Use her comment to do something great for yourself (if that's what you want). I can't think of a more satisfying way to respond to someone's unkindness.

But the OP isn’t piling on the beef as you so charmingly put it. The ‘friend’ even admitted the OP looked the same as a few months back. They both know they have a couple of stone to lose so there was no reasonable explanation for the friend suddenly saying what she said other than to make the OP feel bad.

OP you should just point out she is actually slightly bigger than you so she knows what it’s like to work at weight loss (head tilt…smile.)

I couldn’t have said it better myself 😈😇😂

Only it’s not true. The OP says she hasn’t gained weight. And they weren’t being asked. They volunteered a false piece of information which cannot be for any reason other than to upset.

No I wouldn't like that OP and the way she said it seems weird to me

Your friend is a rude cunt. Feel free to tell her this. It is, afterall, the truth.

I would imagine she didn’t mean anything by it and it was just (in her view) a follow on of previous conversations about weight.

But you’re the one who knows her so you can gauge it a lot better than any of us can.

Wow no real friend would say this to you.

Most of us are self conscious about their bodies we all have hang ups even models. She knows this we all do. Never go there it's not rocket science

TBH I wish I had friends saying to me when I was piling on the beef

I will admit, I piled it on, and denied it by refusing to be in the moment - not a photo taken of me for 5 years - those that were snapped without my say so - I deleted. Out of sight - I dint have to admit I was too heavy

But Im not you @SatOnaHotTinRoof

If you are happy with your weight then crack on , ignore her comments decide are they worth losing a friendship over or if that's it

Only you know if you are happy and confident how you are, or if your "friend" touched a nerve

Why do people feel the need to comment on other people’s bodies - whether slim or heavy? I have a very slim friend and she gets the ‘you need to eat something’ quite a bit. I’ve known her for over 40 years, and I knew her mother, both very slim. She hates being in a swimsuit as she feels very unfeminine as she has no chest or hips.
And telling someone ‘ooo you need to watch that’ or ‘do you think you need that’ when eating - like oh my god I never knew I was a couple stone overweight! Thanks so much for telling me’!
She wanted to take you down a notch for whatever reason. Unpleasant and not something a friend should do, but some people just can’t help themselves.

I had just had a baby and gone through utter hell
Relationship breakdown
Dv
Court cases

Had out on weight and my friend was so rude

She was like how could you?
Why not weigh yourself each day?
Blah blah

It was so vile
I have not forgiven her

I just kept my distance

I shot up two more stone after that and was so afraid to bump into her as I did not know what she would say to me !!!!

Not a true friend

Plus who cares about weight
Why bring someone down :(

Tell the 'friend' to fuck off.

i always know if i have put on weight. I feel it in my clothes

nobody needs to tell me.

Awful. I would back away from that friendship

Then she’s a twat. Sounds like she was feeling a bit gleeful and couldn’t keep it in.

It’s good you called her out on it.

I was going to say if she's not usually like this, then I'd probably give her the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to a bout of explosive foot-in-mouth.

But then I got to this part of the post:

When I initially asked her what made her say it her response was that it was the truth and she said that I must have an issue with my weight if her question upset me.

The fact she doubled down and tried to make her rudeness YOUR problem, rather than just apologise, would change my opinion of her. You could try giving her a taste of her own medicine next time you see her ("ever thought of doing something surgical about your massive nose?"). But I don't know that I could be arsed playing tit-for-tat. Friendships aren't supposed to be like that.

I don't mind when people say this to me, if it's true.

But she should know you well enough to know you do mind.

So YANBU.