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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wedding with a dress code

157 replies

Helpmeup · 26/08/2025 19:57

A few months ago we received an invitation to my husbands friends wedding. Along with the invitation was a dress code which said “dress to impress and please wear pastel colours only” I don’t have any pastel coloured dresses but I thought well it’s a few months away so I have time to find something.

However, husband checked with her and the men also have to wear pastel. Now that the wedding is 2 weeks away I actually feel a bit annoyed that we are having to buy something brand new to go to a wedding when we both have perfectly fine dresses and suits to wear already. DH probably isn’t ever going to wear pastel clothing again so it seems like a waste of money. We asked if he could maybe just wear a pastel tie instead but she insists everyone has to be in theme with the pastels.

The venue is over an hour away and the taxi is costing us £40 each way. We will be spending money there on drinks etc so I just feel like it’s going to cost us so much money to attend someone’s wedding 😩 I told myself I would put some money aside to be able to afford the new clothes but it hasn’t worked out as we have had too many other things to pay for lately so this just seems like an unnecessary purchase when we already have perfectly reasonable clothes to wear to the wedding! Is this a thing now? AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:
pinkbackground · 26/08/2025 20:48

I’d either buy something secondhand (if you really want to go) or just not go.

DappledThings · 26/08/2025 20:48

Rude and utterly cringey. I'd check with them if they actually meant it as a suggestion or a requirement. If the former I'd ignore, if the latter I'd decline altogether and be honest about why if asked.

strawlight · 26/08/2025 20:47

My husband would be fine buying a new shirt, but would draw the line at having to fork out for a new suit.

I’d suggest TKMaxx - it’s especially good for blokes and you might find something in there for you too.

Notashamed13 · 26/08/2025 20:46

I would go in your already wedding ready gear, enjoy the day, if they don't like it then they are not your husbands friends. P.s £40 for an hour each way taxi is AMAZING!....We paid 28 quid for 15 min each way a few years ago! Just be you!

ArtesianWater · 26/08/2025 20:41

Just wear the lightest coloured clothing you own (cream, light grey, stone, etc.) or don't go. Agree that it sounds like instagram is higher on the agenda than the guests themselves.

greengreyblue · 26/08/2025 20:40

The mistake you made is querying it. They can request a dress code but can’t enforce it. You’d be fine in a pastel dress and DH in a pastel tie and maybe tucks pastel hanky in his breast pocket .

ForPlumReader · 26/08/2025 20:37

If you can't get out of it then I'd either ignore the "request" or head to the local charity shop. No idea why someone would seriously think that is an ok ask of your guests.

FlorenceAgainstTheMachine · 26/08/2025 20:37

I’ve been invited to a wedding abroad next year (already annoying!) only to now find that on top of the cost of it all, the dress code for the guests is black. No advice but I sympathise, OP!

FenderStrat · 26/08/2025 20:35

Lots of modern brides seem to have an impenetrable sense of delusion. They really do think that this day is as important to their friends as it is to them.

Beyondburnout · 26/08/2025 20:33

You could extendTestingTestingWonTooFree idea and also wear white or stone coloured trousers or a skirt. Then you just need a top. The clothing would be easier to rewear. Stand at the back in the photos. Ffs feel your pain

Account734 · 26/08/2025 20:29

It's too late now but I would probably decline a wedding where I was told what colours I am allowed to wear, it's ridiculously entitled to dictate to guests in that way.

ExpressCheckout · 26/08/2025 20:28

I hope this Bridezilla puts as much effort into her marriage as she does her Instagram. What planet do these people live on? Honestly.

You can decline. Let your DH decide what he wants to do, and leave him to arrange. Nb. He could hire a suit if he really wants to go.

Blueuggboots · 26/08/2025 20:22

Well, I’d drive and save a lot to start with if I had to go, but I’d decline. Pastel colours only? Why??!!

Pieceofpurplesky · 26/08/2025 20:15

His normal suit with pastel shirt and tie, maybe leave the jacket at home.
Sounds ridiculous though. I am sure the women on here will find you something - what size/height/colouring are you?

ShesTheAlbatross · 26/08/2025 20:14

Bitzee · 26/08/2025 20:04

That’s ridiculous. I bet most of the men won’t have clarified and will turn up in a standard navy suit and a pastel tie because suits cost £100s and pastel as you say will never be worn again. And now you’ve asked you can’t do that without incurring the wrath of the bridezilla. Declining is your best bet now.

That’s a good point. I bet most people wouldn’t think that the rule applied to the men.

hshshshhdaujhwgwva · 26/08/2025 20:14

I’d definitely do some sort of pale coloured chinos, pastel shirt and tie for him. Could easily be worn again then. Or hire full on pastel suit from moss bros etc.

Vinted etc for you or one of the more expensive dress hire companies if you need something fancy.

Itsnottheheatitsthehumidity · 26/08/2025 20:13

It’s probably for social media posts. I’d say, no thanks, got something else on.

GAJLY · 26/08/2025 20:12

Just get a pastel tie for him and a pastel scarf for you. Ignore her, there will be loads of guests not wearing pastel.

OwlsR · 26/08/2025 20:10

I put Yabu only because it was made clear when the invitation arrived so you could decline. Agree it’s a bit ridiculous- what does dress to impress mean? Dress to outshine the bride - just wearing pastel doesn’t mean you can’t be more glamorous than them.

Coffeeishot · 26/08/2025 20:10

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/08/2025 20:06

Beige chinos and a pale blue/pink/green shirt for him? Bollocks to buying a whole new suit.

Something like this or even a pastel shirt and tie with dark suit that he has ?. I mean they are not going to turn you away at the door are the?

LEM0NADEY · 26/08/2025 20:09

Vinted

LlynTegid · 26/08/2025 20:09

Decline.

Low use clothing is a contributor to climate change.

Comefromaway · 26/08/2025 20:08

That would be a no from me. Pastel colours don’t suit me and there is no way on earth Dh would buy a pastel suit.

I don’t buy new outfits for weddings. I have a couple I alternate, depending on whether it is a formal or informal wedding.

Wethers121 · 26/08/2025 20:08

I’d look to get something on vinted and for DH wear a pastel tie and shirt with a normal suit he has. Doubt any men will go for a pastel suit- they’d look like dumb and dumber if so!

Mandarinaduck · 26/08/2025 20:07

Extremely annoying. Nevertheless if you can find a way to do it without too much expense I'd just go along with it.