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Original poster

Things that PISS you off, but you can't really say so.

637 replies

pinknailvarnish1 · 26/08/2025 17:12

I have a few. Can't say them out loud (except to DH).

MIL & FIL - multi millionaires. Spend loads of money on themselves, lavish holidays, sports cars, only the very best restaurants etc. Never ever do they give a penny to their adult children (and one is flat broke). This is despite them both having been given property and a thriving business by a parent themselves.

My Dad - Overbearing, alcoholic, violent outbursts etc, all through our childhood. He's now decrepit and I have to do so much for him. I resent it.

Brother - keeps saying he's broke, whilst living like a rockstar. Just spend £20k on a holiday, lives in a £600k house, drives top of the range car, but often claims poverty - stop lying!

And breathe......

Anyone else?

OP posts:
LlamaNoDrama · 26/08/2025 19:26

People who stop miles away from the give way/stop line (no cycle section). Why has everyone started doing this?

people at work who moan about others not pulling their weight, when they also don't pull their weight.

dsis who moans about being skint and how she has no pension set aside yet is constantly abroad and posting about unnecessary lavish things no one needs. It's no one else's fault she prioritises holidays over pension payments.

Sharkpenis · 26/08/2025 19:25

cheesecurdsandgravy · 26/08/2025 17:26

I work with children and young people with disabilities.

There is nothing that I find more infuriating than parents who are exaggerating their children’s needs because they want more benefit money/respite care/to excuse their own crap parenting.

I regularly fantasise about telling them they’re talking shit and that everyone knows it. But, instead, I am limited to writing careful worded reports which are simply added to everyone else’s carefully written reports because there is absolutely no way that we have the time/energy to divert to fight their bullshit.

This is so frustrating because I had professionals fighting for any respite, id have been happy for an hour and not getting it. I was told that I was a good mum and I put them first and advocated for the children.

I begged for help. Got nothing

lotsofpatience · 26/08/2025 19:25

MNeters that start their theads by announcing they are long time users but they have cnanged their username.
Nobody gives a shit! Do you think we'd pay less attention if you were a newbie??? Give over.

Sogfree · 26/08/2025 19:24

cheesecurdsandgravy · 26/08/2025 17:26

I work with children and young people with disabilities.

There is nothing that I find more infuriating than parents who are exaggerating their children’s needs because they want more benefit money/respite care/to excuse their own crap parenting.

I regularly fantasise about telling them they’re talking shit and that everyone knows it. But, instead, I am limited to writing careful worded reports which are simply added to everyone else’s carefully written reports because there is absolutely no way that we have the time/energy to divert to fight their bullshit.

You've said it far more eloquently than I could.

The parent whose 9 year old child we toilet trained at school deserves my highest wrath, as she refused to support us at home and insisted we went back to nappies in school because of "his anxiety". Aka her benefits claim.

Cherrysoup · 26/08/2025 19:23

JustPassingThruHere · 26/08/2025 18:47

My MIL only asks after me as a lure to trauma dump on me and if I don't beg her faux problem from her or seem sorry enough about her pathetic non issues she blanks me and never even gives me a chance to address her fake concern about how I'm doing. 6 weeks or so, 25 plus years, rinse and repeat.

DH has inherited his parents idiocy. Short fuse, lives to complain and do nothing to sort issues but puts others down who do the same as deflection.

DD is a princess. Never had hardship and will make my life hell to ensure this remains the case.

Mother is 25+ stone, complains about aches and pains but swears she eats 1000 calories max a day.

I'M SO FED UP so I tell DH I need some space to get away from the negativity. Might book myself a few days away somewhere, so he asks if I want to go for a coffee with him?????

NO NO NO NO NO

Thanks for listening

Do it, it’ll be brilliant!

Kingsleadhat · 26/08/2025 19:23

AgentPidge · 26/08/2025 18:39

I agree with you. Also, "nibbles". They both make me want to punch the person saying it.

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And even worse, nibbly bits

Namechangerage · 26/08/2025 19:22

arcticpandas · 26/08/2025 19:09

She doesn't really exist, she's just following a script of "how perfect middle class mothers behave on trains". I bet her poo smells like bliss as well because she will have an anus attached fragrance spreader. You just can't compete with that.

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Yes!! It always feels quite performative to me. I do envy the slim bit 🤣

CluelessAboutBiology · 26/08/2025 19:22

@JustPassingThruHere you lost 16 stone? That’s amazing, well done.

@AgentPidge “Nibbles” is a hamster’s name, not food.

Charabanc · 26/08/2025 19:22

MyDogHumpsThings · 26/08/2025 18:57

I realised I’m going to get flamed for this, but I despise all of the mumsnet acronyms! All of them, all the time. I hate them.

My pet hate is people who think that initial are acronyms.

DahliaJug · 26/08/2025 19:22

StepsInTime · 26/08/2025 19:16

It is grammatically correct but if it’s just statement why include it all? Just ask me your question. You are
more likely to get an answer as I won’t be pissed off :)

it is about useful as saying it’s raining outside.

Edited
Show quote history

Well, I don’t disagree, but phrasing it as a question is just another distraction from whatever the point of the email or letter is anyway.

ShiftingSand · 26/08/2025 19:22

speckledfens · 26/08/2025 18:09

Distant family member has just been made a “nanny” at 34. Announced on FB.
The 16 year old daughter who is pregnant was removed from her care as a toddler, for a year or so. Did not attend school for the last two years despite school attendance officers visiting ect. So no social skills, no importance of education, just sat at home in a flat on benefits vaping and morbidly obese. No prospects, nothing.
To make it worse, this whole child’s life she has constantly demanded pets- hamsters, rabbits, g pigs, dogs, cats. She gets them, and they are either dead or rehomed within 3 months. So my hopes aren’t high for a baby tbh.

Anyway pregnancy is announced on FB, I’m going to be a nanny at 34 ect. Along come the swarms of comments “ahhh congratulations hun” ect ect ect

Pisses me off that nobody is saying what we’re all thinking.
You failed your kid.

Looks like it’s going to be rinse and repeat for the next generation 😐

DeadMemories · 26/08/2025 19:20

My dad has been in and out of hospital lately, going to the ER pretty much daily. Parents are in their 70s otherwise fit and healthy. My dad drives them to the hospital then my mum rings me to bring her home.

it takes me over an hour to get there and back, she rings at 7am or 11pm then complains it took me ages to get to her, sometimes I have been eating my dinner and she rings, sometimes it’s twice a day I have to go and get her and it’s caused issues with DH getting pissed off. My mum can drive but refuses to and won’t take a taxi, she doesn’t need taxis she just rings me. A few times I have just got in from work and I go straight back out knowing I won’t get home for another 90 minutes due to the traffic.

I do it for my dad, he worries about how my mum will get home, gets very het up and stressed, my dad would do anything for anyone so I do it for him. My mum wouldn’t cross the road to help anyone.

tommyhoundmum · 26/08/2025 19:20

NotSmallButFunSize · 26/08/2025 17:27

All my friends won't stop talking about perimenopause - every teeny tiny thing that happens to anyone must be a symptom.....

I am the same age but cannot be arsed to think about it - I think most of us are too young for it to actually be an issue, it's more just that we have busy lives and have hit 40!

I just glaze over the conversation but it's getting really boring

I didn't think about it at all until my periods just stopped at 50. It was a horrible 6 years though.

Phoebesparrow · 26/08/2025 19:20

smallpinecone · 26/08/2025 18:17

@pinknailvarnish1

Do we have the same MIL? 😄

When I told mine I’d been diagnosed with breast cancer, she gave me a long blank stare, then turned to my husband and said “Well obviously, her having cancer is better than having hay fever like me. I’ll never be cured of my problem”

I didn’t expect any sympathy, so I wasn’t surprised!

In nowhere in the same league,my mother was the same

I gave birth and had really bad after pains

I commented to her that I should take some painkillers and was screamed at

'I HAD FUCKING TWINS!THOSE AFTERPAINS WHERE MUCH WORSE THAN YOUR FAKE PAINS NOW!YOUR PUTTING IT ON!'

When I was assaulted and was pretty shaken up about it,I got the same response

'I WAS ABUSED AS A CHILD!I DESERVE MORE SYMPATHY THAN YOU!AND I THINK YOUR LYING'

I was hit by a car and was badly shaken and bruised all over (but nothing broken thankfully) and all I got was 'IVE HURT MY FOOT!THAT HURTS MUCH MORE!'

The final straw is when my brother and sister in law lost a baby to miscarriage

My mother walked in to their bedroom where sis in law was resting,fresh out of hospital and screamed 'IVE LOST 3 BABIES!YOUR PAIN ISNT AS BAD AS MINE IS!3 I TELL YOU!YOUVE ONLY LOST ONE!'

Sis in laws mother threw her out and my mother sulked for months,until sis in law got pregnant again and suddenly my dc didn't exist and this child was the next god

Narc bitch,thankfully I'm now nc

GodSavetheJean · 26/08/2025 19:19

tooyoungtoopretty · 26/08/2025 18:32

All the hard work that goes into staying slim, and others taking ozempic.

This is like complaining about people using gas heat when they can build a fire. Why shouldnt they use something that can make their life easier - and literally make their life longer?

Cinaferna · 26/08/2025 19:17

soupmaker · 26/08/2025 18:11

PIL who won’t sort out wills or POA. They are mid-80s both have health issues and they live abroad. Just fucking sort it out you idiots because death is a certainty and if you become incapacitated DH will have a hellish time with no POA. I’m not just pissed off I’m incandescent with rage at them.

DFiL has finally done this aged 96. I get your rage. Even with wills and PoA, sorting out elderly parents is a time consuming kafkaesque nightmare. What it would be like without these in place makes me feel a bit sick.

Thepeopleversuswork · 26/08/2025 19:17

@Pricelessadvice

What’s wrong with “Satan is 2 today!” and a couple of pictures.

😃

ChocolateCinderToffee · 26/08/2025 19:16

People who get on buses with rollators and are selfish enough to take up two priority seats because they won't fold the fucking thing. I had one this morning ask me to move so she could take up two seats with her gadget and she then got off after ONE stop.

StepsInTime · 26/08/2025 19:16

DahliaJug · 26/08/2025 19:12

But it’s grammatically correct. They’re not asking you a question, just saying they hope you’re well — not that they necessarily do, just because it’s a conventional way of starting a communication.

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It is grammatically correct but if it’s just statement why include it all? Just ask me your question. You are
more likely to get an answer as I won’t be pissed off :)

it is about useful as saying it’s raining outside.

JHound · 26/08/2025 19:16

StepsInTime · 26/08/2025 19:10

People who start as message with “I hope you are well” with a full stop, not even a question mark.

It just makes me think you don’t give a shit but you want to look like a nice person.

I’ve even had it from a friend who knows I have cancer but has not asked how I am since I told her months ago. She was so upset a mutual friend went round to comfort HER. Neither of them ask how I am but both start messages with “I hope you are well”

Ha ha ha - I write that on every email.

OSTMusTisNT · 26/08/2025 19:16

My DH gets up for work at 6am, that disturbs me with the alarm going off and the fussling around. He then comes back into the bedroom at 7am, generally just after I've went back to sleep, to say bye and gives me a kiss and disturbs me again. Been living together for 25 years and I really wish he didn't wake me up at 7am every morning.

Can't complain though as he is a good one, my daily despair will always be my secret.

PanicPanicc · 26/08/2025 19:15

Brother constantly calling and pestering me about money. I was sending money monthly at great personal effort (single mum) and my CC debt was mounting up to help him cover my mum’s expenses (he also takes half her pension for expenses!).

Come to find out he makes 5x over minimum wage. I’ve been sending money for no fucking reason.

I honestly don’t think I’ll ever speak to him ever again.

JustPassingThruHere · 26/08/2025 19:14

DreamyBalonz · 26/08/2025 19:05

My mum was the same ..she eventually became bedbound because she was so fat she couldn't walk, then she had a fucking huge stone in her kidney. This put her in hospital for 6 months. She eventually died of a heart attack brought on by her obesity. However my stepdad was totally in denial and acted as if none of it was her fault (as in "doctors say she is a big woman but she has an under active thyroid so that's why etc) funnily enough my sister also has one and isn't fat

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It's exasperating!!

I'm sorry you can relate and I'm sorry about your mother.

Mine goes on and on about how her feet hurt, her back, her heart, her swollen joints. Says she's on 1000 cals and the reason her diet is stagnant, the only reason she can think of, is because she drinks Diet Pepsi????

I lost 16 stone so I know what it takes to lose and maintain a loss for a lifetime so you'd think she would find someone else to pity her lies but nope! Comes to me and punishes me with hostility when I forget myself and try to help with practical solutions instead of joining her pity party of lies!

I'm exhausted and can see she will die a horrible death all because she hates the life she chose to create.

I am so tired of trying to be everyone's guidance counsellor, dietician etc

I'm verging on serious burnout by being so compassionate to everyone who takes but never gives anything but negativity.

Screaming into a void.

Pricelessadvice · 26/08/2025 19:14

The performative FB posts that go as follows-
“Happy 2nd birthday to my little man. You are the kindest, most handsome, gorgeous little boy and we are so blessed to have you. Keep being you kiddo!” followed by three million photos of said child.
YUK. Your 2 year old isn’t on FB so why are you addressing it to him?? It’s just performative nonsense.

What’s wrong with “Satan is 2 today!” and a couple of pictures.

CaptainSevenofNine · 26/08/2025 19:14

I’ve never really let this inhabit my brain too much or it would cause so much resentment but yes pisses me off.

My mum died very young, before her parents, my Grandparents. In Scottish law this means my siblings and I inherit instead of her.

Grandparents wrote will accordingly giving siblings and I the legal minimum (shared between the siblings) because they were worried our Dad would take the money. Mum’s surviving siblings got twice/three times as much!

Anyway we grew up and were adults (away from Dad crucially!) by the sad time the inheritance was to be shared out.

Grandparents never changed will and Mum’s surviving siblings didn’t do a deed of variation to make the split fair (even though they commented on the unfairness of it!). Wasn’t a huge amount of money for my Aunts but our sibling share of Mum’s share in our 20s would have been life changing.

I resent it. My DH often comments on the unfairness of it all. What ended up happening is that Mum’s siblings ended up inheriting 5 times as much as we did.

That, plus all the years without Mum stung. We have cousins and they always got more than we did in gifts from grandparents whilst they were alive. Our Mum was the black sheep of the family. Surrounded by golden children, who never put a foot wrong.