Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Things that PISS you off, but you can't really say so.

637 replies

pinknailvarnish1 · 26/08/2025 17:12

I have a few. Can't say them out loud (except to DH).

MIL & FIL - multi millionaires. Spend loads of money on themselves, lavish holidays, sports cars, only the very best restaurants etc. Never ever do they give a penny to their adult children (and one is flat broke). This is despite them both having been given property and a thriving business by a parent themselves.

My Dad - Overbearing, alcoholic, violent outbursts etc, all through our childhood. He's now decrepit and I have to do so much for him. I resent it.

Brother - keeps saying he's broke, whilst living like a rockstar. Just spend £20k on a holiday, lives in a £600k house, drives top of the range car, but often claims poverty - stop lying!

And breathe......

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Bunny44 · 27/08/2025 00:19

bumchic · 26/08/2025 17:29

DH falls asleep literally the minute he lies down and it’s infuriating. How can he just switch off like that?

Also I have irrational ugly jealousy of people who have grandparent childcare available to them. My DC have no GPs who can look after them and I am sad about it every time I see families who have.

I have GPs but only mine and no partner. There's also a girl in the village who was widowed when her twins were 2. Her mum helps out a lot but we have to remember it swings in roundabouts doesn't it. I get jealous when I see dad's with their babies or my friends doing family things but I try and remember I have my own dad/parents stepping in which many people don't have. I'd have loved to have had a family unit of my own and a DH though, but my partner walked out when I was pregnant.

namechangetheworld · 27/08/2025 00:12

Babygirlmamahere · 26/08/2025 20:15

My MIL and how she always talks over me. She does many many annoying things but an example is when she takes my baby DD away from me as soon as I arrive and when she doesn't cry, she comes back all smug and tells me 'see, she didn't miss you at all!' 🙄 my DP thinks shes completely innocent and the best mother ever so I get no backup from him either. I honestly hate her.

Christ, my DM does similar. Whenever I pick my DC up one will inevitably raise their voice or whine about something. DM will turn to me and sneer "they don't act like this for me, it's only when YOU'RE around." Oh do fuck off.

Suninthe · 27/08/2025 00:11

largeprintagathachristie · 26/08/2025 18:42

A work colleague eats a yoghurt at her desk every day and seems to genuinely spend five minutes scraping/scrabbling around with her spoon in the container at the end of it. Scrape, scrape, scrabble, scrabble goes the spoon. Again and again and again

It’s finished! Enough! All the yoghurt has clearly gone!

This just made me cry laughing... I had a work colleague who used to microwave sardines and eat them in my windowless office...

Enigma54 · 27/08/2025 00:11

@Crikeyalmighty yes you are right. I get why people say it and normally it washes over me. It’s just bad timing right now, when one is feeling battered.

VielleTruite · 27/08/2025 00:09

Crikeyalmighty · 26/08/2025 23:04

@VielleTruite gosh, mine is exactly the opposite, a lot of semi hip hop ( think OutKast maybe) mixed in with some ABBA and very recent semi dance stuff - and it’s a mixed class too but a lot of over 40s in fact a fair few over 60s ( including me)

😀Indeed, we're all different which is good. I detest hip-hop and rap, it just sounds like shouting and noise to me. I can deal with a bit of ABBA and do recall them winning Eurovision with Waterloo, I think I was about nine. It was when everyone watched Eurovision. I've just had a new hip so I may hopefully get as active as you in the weeks coming!

DreamyBalonz · 27/08/2025 00:03

Soitwillbefine · 26/08/2025 23:27

Visitors who say ‘right, we are off.’ Then start another conversation at the door for 6/7 minutes. Then leave. Then start another conversation at the car door for 6/7 minutes. Just say you’re going and bloody go, I don’t need a final act.

I know 4 people like this and I’m irrationally angry every time it happens and it ALWAYS happens.

My younger brother never just left the house when a visit ended. He would get to the door then turn round and look at me, expecting a lengthy conversation. If feel too awkward to just say "bye then!" And slam the door in his face. I'm kind of glad we lost touch

Toomanyweekstogo · 26/08/2025 23:57

Crole · 26/08/2025 18:20

I've been keeping a list of these for a while. I swear I'm not uptight. Buckle up, it's a long list.

  • specific requests for low value small ads items instead of just giving it away for free or asking for a euro, magnum mini ice creams, haribo, specific brands of coffee
  • people who bring children to saunas, even if they're quiet.
  • mumblers
  • knitted cardigans that look like jackets worn by muscle men, especially if they're polyester
  • people who make obvious suggestions about how to identify murder victims from Interpol posts, as if the police hadn't thought of doing that already, "check the serial number", "check the dental records".
  • people gifting voucher gifts like 1x Babysitting or 1x romantic cooked meal. What a lame idea.
  • Christmas dinner flavoured sandwiches/anything. Christmas panini, straight in the bin.
  • People who wear matching Christmas pyjamas.
  • people don't wash their clothes or bedding before using it.
  • people who say "you'll be speaking to my lawyer" about minor inconveniences. You know they don't have a lawyer and aren't intimidating anyone.
  • people who offer dodgy financial courses directed towards multiple audiences at once, advice like "stop living paycheck to paycheck" and then "buy rental property". Huh?
  • people who comment on social media about AI destroying the planet and then have photos of either meat or their short and long haul trips on their profile, or both.
  • old people who complain about the behaviour of "kids nowadays". We're one generation away from beating kids into submission at school and home, it might take time to adjust.
  • people who say they "dont watch TV" to sound superior but stream for hours. No one watches TV like its the 90s, you're better than no-one.
  • people who have feather pillows on their sofa with the feathers poking out and stabbing you in the arm. Get new ones or stop inviting me to your house.
  • people who sins"price point" instead of price.
  • people who post chatgpt answers to questions on social media, like they're doing a public service
  • people who comment on recipes and and about the weirdest substitutes, courgettes for sugar? NO, obviously not Janet.
  • people who say "picky bits" for food
  • people who suggest donating book hoards to local libraries, no one wants ancient dusty moldy books.
  • people who dont have a simple prepared answer to "what do you do?" and explain that it's complicated. I dont care what you do Marcus, it's small talk.
Edited
Show quote history

People who have too much time on their hands?

Crikeyalmighty · 26/08/2025 23:52

Crikeyalmighty · 26/08/2025 23:30

I really wish people would think twice when uttering such platitudes in your situation - I think it’s because people often don’t know what to say, but think they should say something.

@Enigma54 - sorry forgot to tag you - this was in response to your post

Not1995 · 26/08/2025 23:47

@Phoebesparrow My mother does the same. No matter what you have/had, she has/had it far worse than you and you should feel sorry for her.

The worst example was when my younger brother, who I hadn't seen in a few years, asked me what chemo was like...in front of our mother. I said that it was the most painful thing I'd ever experienced...out of nowhere my mother said 'I gave birth 3 times, that was more painful'...

My brother and I just looked at each other in horror and said nothing...too shocked, I think. Imagine comparing childbirth to cancer treatment! Looking back I wish I said 'You had a baby at the end...I nearly died'

My mother is also a narc and I've been very low contact for 25 years. Deliberately live on the other side of the world.

ohrodneyyouresuchplonker · 26/08/2025 23:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMomentInTime · 26/08/2025 23:44

cheesecurdsandgravy · 26/08/2025 17:26

I work with children and young people with disabilities.

There is nothing that I find more infuriating than parents who are exaggerating their children’s needs because they want more benefit money/respite care/to excuse their own crap parenting.

I regularly fantasise about telling them they’re talking shit and that everyone knows it. But, instead, I am limited to writing careful worded reports which are simply added to everyone else’s carefully written reports because there is absolutely no way that we have the time/energy to divert to fight their bullshit.

Oh, absolutely this.

We have a few really awful parents that are determinedly pushing for all kinds of agreement from us that their children have X, Y or Z when they clearly do not. We have many that do have X, Y or Z, and we definitely don't pretend otherwise, but these parents have been quite open about wanting to apply for additional benefits and word travels back. They're just crappy parents and I really feel for their children.

And we have some on the other side of the coin, too. Where they don't want to hear that we think their children might have X, Y or Z, that it's our fault they're struggling/misbehave/etc, couldn't possibly be anything genetic... so frustrating.

TheodoraCrumpet · 26/08/2025 23:40

People who post outrageously photoshopped photos of themselves on their FB pages. It's not so much them, though I think a 50-year-old woman erasing every hint of not being 12 off her image and passing it off as a recent photo when I saw her actual face last week, and she looks like an adult human rather than a mutant, is a bit ridiculous. No, what pisses me off unreasonably are the comments saying 'Beautiful lady', that kind of thing. The only proper and correct thing to do is quietly ignore this crap.

Praying4Peace · 26/08/2025 23:36

ViolaChomp · 26/08/2025 22:40

My child free, stress free friend getting signed off work for 4 weeks with "stress" while I have been working my arse off over the summer hols, Paying a fortune for the kids to be in summer holiday clubs then having crushing mum guilt as I haven't seen them and we've done diddly squat this summer holidays apart from survive... feeling so cross it isn't her fault but she has nothing to be stressed about apart from deciding which colour to paint her toes 😬
Edit to add.. we also work together so her being off has just added to my work load and she's spent the last few weeks sunbathing and updating Instagram..normally I love her but she just doesn't have a clue what some of us are going through

Edited

AHHHHHH, I can identify with this.
Some people simply don't have a clue and don't care about impact on colleagues etc

namechangetheworld · 26/08/2025 23:36

IDespairOfTheHumanRace · 26/08/2025 18:25

Poorly spoken and articulated English - speech peppered with dropped aitches, glottal stops, double negatives and every sentence full of 'fillers' - "to be fair", "see what I mean"? and "like" amongst others.

Overuse of superlatives, particularly "super".

Sadly, it appears to be endemic now and, for me, at least, it is synonymous with fingernails being drawn down a blackboard and leaves me wanting to rip my ears off!

Our finance director (who only got the job because she had an affair with our then-married boss, Steve) is desperate to prove how intelligent she is, and begins EVERY email with the phrase "Steve and myself".

"Steve and myself have noticed that certain branches aren't filing their reciepts properly. Steve and myself would like to extend our congratulations to so-and-so for getting promoted." My favourite is "any issues please speak to myself."

Fuck off you thick twat.

Tryonemoretime · 26/08/2025 23:35

The F word and the C word. I spent my early years in a tough mining village where people swore all the time - but no one never used those words.
Casual blasphemy. People don't use Muhammad's name in the same way. Why use Jesus'?
Apostrophes in the wrong places. Pass me a black marker pen....
People who use the last sheet of the loo roll and leave the cardboard roll on the hanger....
Sniffers. Use a tissue. Please.

TheArtfulNavyDreamer · 26/08/2025 23:31

When DH noisily watches the football on his iPad in a room where I’m watching a movie on TV. There are other rooms with TVs in them why can’t he sit in one of them instead of disturbing me with game noise and him shouting.

Crikeyalmighty · 26/08/2025 23:30

I really wish people would think twice when uttering such platitudes in your situation - I think it’s because people often don’t know what to say, but think they should say something.

Isittimeformynapyet · 26/08/2025 23:28

PaddlingSwan · 26/08/2025 17:46

People, who have no standards.

What, all people?

Or do you mean "people who have no standards" without the comma?

Soitwillbefine · 26/08/2025 23:27

Visitors who say ‘right, we are off.’ Then start another conversation at the door for 6/7 minutes. Then leave. Then start another conversation at the car door for 6/7 minutes. Just say you’re going and bloody go, I don’t need a final act.

I know 4 people like this and I’m irrationally angry every time it happens and it ALWAYS happens.

Saracen · 26/08/2025 23:26

My learning disabled daughter's appalling grammar. I thought she was just delayed in this respect, but she's 19 and I am starting to worry that she's always going to talk like this.

Isittimeformynapyet · 26/08/2025 23:25

Ihateboris · 26/08/2025 17:45

My sister keeps getting filler in her lips. She thinks they look great, but they look awful. What's worse though, is I can’t always understand what she's saying as she's also had botox around her lips.

What's her number? I'll tell her.

Enigma54 · 26/08/2025 23:24

I’m on chemotherapy. It’s a pretty gruelling combination of drugs. I feel like shit most of the time, my mouth hurts, I’m bald and knackered. Everyone says “ stay strong and positive”

Wait for it “FUCK OFF! I’m
exhausted and fed up. YOU try this shit. Its hard. Fucking bloody pissing hard!”

There, said it!

AmoozzBoosh · 26/08/2025 23:22

My lovely friends who say 'ladies' instead of women. That pisses me off but no way can I pull them up on it

💯

Also vocal fry as a pp mentioned. I enjoy the rest Is Politics and even Rory Stewart has picked up a vocal fry - sometimes it's so strong I give up on the podcast

Isittimeformynapyet · 26/08/2025 23:21

ohyesido · 26/08/2025 17:35

Can’t relate

Yes, that must be annoying.

Crikeyalmighty · 26/08/2025 23:16

@taxguru oh my goodness yes - my FILs late ex partner was very fond of the ‘we worked hard’ - relating to her and her ex husband ( not my FIL) having done no more than 5 hours a week since her late 20s and was 70 by this point. Really boiled my piss as I had been back at work full time within 14 weeks with my son in late 90s ( and not by choice) - she had never paid a penny towards a mortgage or bills - either with her ex or with my FIL . Horrible right wing views too , not just the usual racism against Muslims etc but Germans, Polish - you name it .