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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I can squeeze into a 5 person car with just 2 other people

161 replies

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:37

I have a trip planned from the north of England to the south coast on Friday to see my Son off who will be away for a year. Originally I was planning to drive down but since then I have been plagued with neck arthritis and its painful to drive long distances. I asked my Sister who is also going down (driving) if I could go in the car with them (her and my dad) to be told no the car would be full. Now granted they are going down for a week, but surely the boot and three back seats wouldn't all be taken up by luggage? AIBU to think surely they could squeeze me in. I am now looking at the train, 3 changes and lengthy trip bearing in mind I will have my luggage with me. My neck, collarbone and shoulder are constantly sore and I am taking medication for this. Just feel a bit hurt tbh!

OP posts:
Thebigonesgetaway · 26/08/2025 17:07

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:58

So they want to have part of your family time yet don't treat you as part of the family?

To be fair her son is their family. They are not some randoms tacking on.

op, are you sure there isn’t a back story in terms of the relationship with your sister and you?

Mosaic123 · 26/08/2025 17:07

It seems so mean of them. If they agree to taking your luggage down could you travel home with a very small bag and leave the clothes for them to bring back?

rebeccachoc · 26/08/2025 17:05

Can you offer to buy a roof rack for the luggage and if that's genuinely the problem they will take you up on it and if its not, you know they are just making excuses.

itsgettingweird · 26/08/2025 17:05

I think it’s one of those times I’d have to be petty back and make sure your son meets just you when your there and tell them there’s no room for them to join you.

Where are you catching the train from and to? If you download the passenger assistance app you can book the help and me and ds travel on trains (south coast) a lot and they are really good at assistance (he’s a wheelchair user)

Shedmistress · 26/08/2025 17:04

Does she hate you or something?

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 17:04

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:58

So they want to have part of your family time yet don't treat you as part of the family?

When you put it like that, it seems so.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/08/2025 17:03

They sound horrible! Won’t let you share an apartment, won’t let you come in their care. I’d make room!

My 2 x DC are teens so take up as much room as adults. We fit in a VW UP with all our stuff for trips - we just pack relatively light and make it work!

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 17:02

SriouslyWhutNow · 26/08/2025 16:57

So this has changed from "surely they can squeeze li'l ol' me in" to "I have enough bags that taking them on public transport is cumbersome"
Well it's no wonder there's no room in the car for you AND your stuff when they and their stuff need to fit is it? You are being very entitled in this thread tbh.

Show quote history

I will travel light believe me. Its not really about the luggage as I am having to get the train back anyway. I just thought they would have room to let me go down with them, especially as my circumstances have changed due to ill health, just to make the whole journey I little easier.

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 26/08/2025 17:00

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:58

So they want to have part of your family time yet don't treat you as part of the family?

What?

Because they cant fit her in the car and it was never planned to be so?

ginasevern · 26/08/2025 16:59

So they're actually going to exactly the same place for exactly the same reason as you - which is to see your son off! There's only 2 of them in a large 5 seater car and they're only staying for a week? Well OP, the simple answer is that both of them, or one of them, doesn't want you. I assume there must be some animosity somewhere along the line and that this isn't a complete and utter shock to you.

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:58

So they want to have part of your family time yet don't treat you as part of the family?

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:57

CatAsstrophe · 26/08/2025 16:42

YANBU.

Unless they're going camping and taking the kitchen sink in addition to all other camping stuff, then it seems mean of your sister to refuse. Is there a backstory?

Edited

No back story as such other than my Sister lives at home and her and my dad do a lot of things together

OP posts:
SriouslyWhutNow · 26/08/2025 16:57

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:46

I Will ask this

Show quote history

So this has changed from "surely they can squeeze li'l ol' me in" to "I have enough bags that taking them on public transport is cumbersome"
Well it's no wonder there's no room in the car for you AND your stuff when they and their stuff need to fit is it? You are being very entitled in this thread tbh.

Ddakji · 26/08/2025 16:56

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:55

He says its up to my Sister

Show quote history

There’s clearly a back story here,‘isn’t there?

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:55

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:51

So they will travel alone and say there's no room for you, even though you're all going to the same place? They sound incredibly selfish.

Can you fly down?

What does your dad say?

He says its up to my Sister

OP posts:
Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:53

minipie · 26/08/2025 16:47

I was going to say, maybe they are worried you will try to tag onto their holiday. And with your update about suggesting staying with them, that sounds even more likely.

No its not really a holiday for them, they too are doing the journey to see my Son off, but granted they are staying a little longer as they dont work so they said they may as well.

OP posts:
MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:51

So they will travel alone and say there's no room for you, even though you're all going to the same place? They sound incredibly selfish.

Can you fly down?

What does your dad say?

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:51

Blueuggboots · 26/08/2025 16:39

Could you ask them to take your luggage if they’re not prepared to take you? Seems pretty mean to me, but at least you could travel without the extra load?

I will ask this

OP posts:
Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:50

minipie · 26/08/2025 16:41

As for fitting in the car, it depends, I’d have thought so but if they are camping or taking dogs it might be different.

But how would you get back? Are you planning to stay for a bit or overnight and head straight back - if it’s straight back then you won’t have much luggage will you, just change of underwear/top and washpack.

How is your son getting there or is he down south already? It seems a hell of a journey for you just to see him off.

I am coming back after 3 days by train (as have no choice). My Son is already down there training before he goes away for a year, so I would like to see him off.

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 26/08/2025 16:50

Im surprised at these responses. When we go on holiday our luggage takes up the boot and the rear seats. There wouldnt be room to fit anyone in the car with us. 2 adults.

5foot5 · 26/08/2025 16:47

As @minipie said, how will you get back? I assumed that the issue with getting a lift with your sister is that she is planning to stay down for a week so won't be able to bring you back if you are staying for less than that.

minipie · 26/08/2025 16:47

I was going to say, maybe they are worried you will try to tag onto their holiday. And with your update about suggesting staying with them, that sounds even more likely.

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:47

BruisedNeckMeat · 26/08/2025 16:45

Are you going to exactly the same place or will you joining mean a significant detour for them?

No same place, no detour needed

OP posts:
Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:46

Blueuggboots · 26/08/2025 16:39

Could you ask them to take your luggage if they’re not prepared to take you? Seems pretty mean to me, but at least you could travel without the extra load?

I Will ask this

OP posts:
BruisedNeckMeat · 26/08/2025 16:45

Are you going to exactly the same place or will you joining mean a significant detour for them?