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AIBU?

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Original poster

FIL called me uptight for refusing to drive DC without a car seat

88 replies

getoutofmyhead · 26/08/2025 15:49

We’re on holiday in France at my in-laws house. Yesterday FIL called me uptight because I refused to drive my 5yo to the beach without her car seat. His bright idea was to stick her on a cushion with the seatbelt. 🙄

Obviously a total non-negotiable for me, she doesn’t travel without a proper seat. Since then FIL hasn’t spoken to me despite me smiling out a big « bonjour » at breakfast, DH has now fallen out with him too, and the whole atmosphere is vile.

I’ve kept my head down because I’ll probably say something I regret, but I’m at the point of booking a nearby Airbnb just to save the holiday.

AIBU to think this whole thing is utterly ridiculous?

OP posts:
anytipswelcome · 26/08/2025 16:11

Newgirls · 26/08/2025 16:05

So it was a cock up of logistics rather than him being awful? He was trying to suggest a solution?

im rarely on side of old blokes but not sure this was his fault really?

Huh? She isn’t upset he made a suggestion. She’s upset he called her uptight and is now ignoring her since doing so, despite her being friendly… I’m not sure how you’ve missed that and landed on him being reasonable.

UnlimitedBacon · 26/08/2025 16:10

Anyone calling me uptight because I refuse to ignore the most basic safety requirements for children, when driving, would get a mouthful from me.

Iwasphotoframed · 26/08/2025 16:08

Let his son deal with him. He sounds like he is able to see your side.

FollowSpot · 26/08/2025 16:07

Newgirls · 26/08/2025 16:05

So it was a cock up of logistics rather than him being awful? He was trying to suggest a solution?

im rarely on side of old blokes but not sure this was his fault really?

The problem is that he called the OP uptight because she refused to drive her child an hour away without a car seat, and he is now refusing to be civil with her.

BrentfordForever · 26/08/2025 16:07

YANBU for the car seat comment but YABU for staying with in laws especially for a holiday !!!

Newgirls · 26/08/2025 16:05

So it was a cock up of logistics rather than him being awful? He was trying to suggest a solution?

im rarely on side of old blokes but not sure this was his fault really?

MageQueen · 26/08/2025 16:04

The bit I don't understand is why has this blown up so spectacularly. You think he's ridiculous, he think syou're unreasonable, in any normal family situation you'd both state your views, he'd roll his eyes at you as you'd win (parent wins over grandparent) and the whole thing just goes away.

So I assume there's way more to this story and the bad relationship?

Original poster
getoutofmyhead · 26/08/2025 16:04

Yes, we do have a car seat. It was in MIL’s car as she left earlier in the morning to the beach (an hour away). Which is fine — no beach then, we just stayed local

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 26/08/2025 16:04

Do you have a seat you can use there?

chunkybear · 26/08/2025 16:02

Is it possible to walk to the beach? Can you buy a car seat whilst you’re there to use for DC? I wouldn’t drive without a car seat either no matter how much he grumps as it’s dangerous for the child

Bitzee · 26/08/2025 15:57

God that sounds awful. Obviously you’re not being unreasonable. Travelling without would be illegal. Do you not have a car seat with you though? I just would have stuck the booster in the car and then been ‘sorted, beach time’ so there was no debate to be had. But if it’s the silent treatment a day later over something so ridiculous and DH is in agreement definitely go and decamp to an air bnb to salvage the rest of the holiday.

Newgirls · 26/08/2025 15:56

Why don’t you have a car seat for her? Was it in your own car?

mamagogo1 · 26/08/2025 15:54

Ya definitely nu!

it’s the sort of craziness my ex in laws tried 20 years ago, I thought people had learned