FIL called me uptight for refusing to drive DC without a car seat

Ugh this sounds exactly like something my FIL would say. He always knew better and undermined my parenting whenever possible.

He’s dead now. Life is immeasurably better.

Fair enough @autumncalling - I was criticising the FIL's attitude.
The OP was probably caught on the hop when they were discussing a there and then journey and in that situation I imagine OP had to just refuse the lift without a car seat.
A calmer conversation could probably take place when it wasn't an immediate journey and there was more time to think about it.

Not just London black cabs. If it's a registered private hire taxi then there's no requirement for a car seat.
Not perfect to have to sit your 3 year old on your lap but sometimes needs must.
Remember - there's no requirement for car seats on buses, coaches and trains either. And trains can travel much faster than cars.

Well you know you aren't uptight and he is a rude idiot, I'd be looking for a hotel.

Ignoring child seat laws in France can result in a hefty fine. The standard penalty is €135, but it can reach up to €750, depending on the severity of the offense. More importantly, non-compliance puts your child at risk in the event of an accident.

I'd have thought travelling an hour without a car seat would result in a more severe penalty.

Only in London Black Cabs. Not sure if it even applies to black cabs used outside of London as they have separate licencing systems.

So, FIL is now sulking - what about MIL?

"I’ve kept my head down because I’ll probably say something I regret, but I’m at the point of booking a nearby Airbnb just to save the holiday."
Yep, I'd move too. But don't sweat 'saying something' - you might be surprised at how little you'll regret it.

Car journeys are boring whichever way you face. They can still see out of the window if rear facing so I don't see it makes much difference. Safety should be your first concern.

im not sure about rear facing at 4 either as it’s really boring for them.

a side point I realise

I've no idea what he thinks and I didn't say he was right. I just think OP could have tried having a reasonable conversation with him. (She might have done this but the tone of her post suggests otherwise...)

My dad wasn't convinced about keeping kids rear facing until age 4. The guidelines for that just didn't exist when I was young. I managed to explain the current research to him without any eye rolling or sarcasm about his "bright ideas". Talking down to people rarely gets a good reaction.

Good for you. Sadly not everyone is as responsible and many people are clueless about current car seat safety.

Oh, thats what you get for reading with the sun on your screen!!

Well then OP I would do as suggested and perhaps move to a hotel nearby.

The OP says, 'Since then FIL hasn’t spoken to me despite me smiling out a big « bonjour » at breakfast'
So she did the smiling. He hasn't responded.

He smiled at her and said bonjour in the morning. How is that refusing to be civil.

If the law is the same in France then no you cant travel without a car seat. If its not against the law, then you have to make a judgement about how safe or otherwise you feel

Ive only just learned that you dont need car seats in taxis in the UK.

There you go @getoutofmyhead. Point this out to him.
Ask him what other driving laws he is happy to break. Drink driving maybe? Going 100 miles per hour?

He can fuck off. He clearly has a very fragile male ego. I'd absolutely book somewhere else and enjoy a peaceful holiday without him.

Similar to the UK- 135cm or age 10 to travel without

What's the law in France? I assume legally 5 year olds need them like they do here.
Would he be the one driving?
If this applies in France then point it out to him - it's the LAW and whoever the driver is will be the one getting in trouble if they are stopped.

I wouldn't be in the same building as anyone who chose to stonewall me. Been there, done that, never again.

Book somewhere actually enjoyable for your holiday and your husband can tell his sulking father why.

Stonewalling and sulking because he wants to endanger his grandchild? Gross.

We've had this disagreement with grandparents too. I swear my dad still thinks I was being precious and ridiculous. But he is now talking to me.

He's had 20 years to get used to the idea then. Does he think its OK to ignore any other motoring regulations that came in after 2006.

Calling her uptight and sulking about the fact that she didn't jump to obey him, is not on.

Absolutely not. My late mum always had car seats for grandkids to meet the current regs. She was born in 1933. Me and DH always have correct seats for grandkids too and we are now bloody ancient. In fact I don't know anyone of my generation who transports kids illegally or unsafely.

Sounds like a generational thing. Car seats have only been a legal requirement since 2006 so he may not have used them for his kids. Not so long ago, sitting on a cushion would have been totally normal. Doesn't make him right but you could try explaining instead of rolling your eyes like you think he's an idiot.

Book alternative accommodation.

There’s no way you should have to put up with his behaviour.

He did say morning bonjour or something? Yes of course he shouldn’t say uptight. Op it just sounds like going away with in-laws was a bad idea.