FIL called me uptight for refusing to drive DC without a car seat

Hi FIL!

It’s not uptight to want a five year old child in a car seat in an hour long journey, when legally children have to be in a car seat until age 10.

He doesn't get to call you names.
Misogynistic twat.
If there is any pattern, do not go on holiday again with them.
Easy solution.
I certainly wouldn't tolerate him thinking he gets to cal you names.
Rude and completely unacceptable.
Tell your husband to put him straight or you will.

Your safety choices are NOTHING to do with him.

He is foolish. But heck uptight is hardly the insult of the year. Why did you not smile, say “ yes I am British. But hey I hear the French police are uptight too and I don’t want to risk you getting a fine” and laugh kindly.

Trains and busses are driven by professionals with an additional category on their licences.

OP

There is an age gap in my family so I'm 16 or 17 years older than cousins on one side. My mother, 'didn't see the point' of car seats for my younger cousins and suggested the cushion thing, which is actually worse than just an adult seatbelt.

Even then I knew she was wrong.

The safety of your child should be, and for you clearly is, safety.
Show him this. This is what happens to a child sitting on a booster seat, not a cushion. Don't worry it is crash test dummies not real.

Happily most people on here disagree.

I think this is hugely uptight? She's not a baby.

Presumably mil took the car seat by accident, but wanted you all to join her, so fil isn’t opposed to car seats but wanted you all to still join mil and not make mil have to come back with car seat.

he was rude to call you uptight. I bet he was cross with mil for making the mistake and redirected anger at you.

he def owes you an apology,but in your shoes I’d be the bigger person for now then never go there for more than 2 nights ever again!

He wanted his grandchild to ride without a car seat on an hour long journey!! And now has the audacity to create a horrible atmosphere for everyone on the holiday because the parents didn't fancy putting their child at huge risk
He was being very awful.

Book other accommodation and enjoy the rest of your holiday OP!

What an absolute man-child! Does he have form for this... I think some older men of this age find confident younger women really uncomfortable, they're used to telling them what to do and being the man of the house. My FiL is the same and tells uncomfortable stories about "the girls" from the typing pool at work and how he "trained" his wife well not to answer back. He hates me correcting him or choosing another option and does a lot of passive aggressive muttering when I do something he disagrees with.
You're totally right, but also, even if you're not, it's YOUR child, you decide everything. You could have said "we can't go to the beach without his blow up unicorn having a crown today" and whilst Fil can think you're ridiculous he can't dictate what you do with your children. He just hates that you've stood up to him and gone against his wishes and that you have autonomy and he cant boss you about. Let your husband decide what he wants to do, you don't want (I imagine) this to become a big family fued and if you leave I imagine it might fracture the relationship for longer. Equally, if your husband thinks this will last all holiday, and feels like you and he should go then go. Maybe he does this a lot and calms down by tomorrow/24 hrs, your dh will know because he will I suspect, do this all the time. Never ever sign up for a holiday again with them, or spend too much time with them either tbh, he'll always want it to be his way and expect he can bully everyone to his perspective. He won't change. Strongly suspect he's expecting you to apologise right now, absolutely don't, he can fuxk off.

We had this issue with PIL - 20 years ago. But no one called us uptight, even if they thought it. I let DH deal with it and it was not raised again.

Sounds to me like alternative accommodation would be a good idea.

Personally I’d rather my child is bored and survives and major accident without injury.

FYI he can see out the window rear facing, and has a mirror (mainly so I can keep an eye on him) but he can see out the front too.
Forward facing he’d see the back of the seat, only real difference, so not sure why that’s better 😅

I’ll keep my child rear facing until he outgrows his car seat thanks!
currently 5 yo and got at least another year in it

OP - stick to your guns, even if FIL disagrees doesn’t give him right to be like that.

I agree.

My Dad (in his late 70’s now) used to make a big fuss about me insisting on using car seats for my DC when they were small, implying that I was a neurotic mother.

I just used to smile and ignore him. I suggest you do that to get through it, and never go on holiday with him again.

If it's a planned in advance journey simply from A to B then parents might provide their own but if it's an unplanned journey (ie coming home from A+E at 3 am) then it's unlikely parents will have one.
The point of taxis that you hail on the street (or Uber) is that they are often for unplanned journeys. It's not exactly practical to be carrying a massive car seat around every time you go out incase you find that you need a taxi unexpectedly.

I wouldnt expect the taxi driver or taxi firm to have them, I would expect the parent to have it and use it. Most people without cars but with children still do have car seats because they know they've got to get in other peoples cars from time to time.

YANBU

FIL needs to wind his neck in

It would be impossible for every taxi (the type you hail or queue for at stations or order via apps like Uber) to have all the different sizes of car seats available in the car for passengers.
Where would they put them all - they'd completely fill the boot.
Taxi companies that you can pre book for long distance journeys will sometimes provide a car seat if requested.
But the type that drive around all day picking up passengers it's just not practical.
It's not ideal to not have a car seat - but it's up to the parent to decide the risk vs the reason they are using a taxi.

No, all taxis

Which is why its baffling that they're not required in a taxi in the UK, not sure about other countries

He’s a prick. Just ignore him and enjoy not having to hear his voice.

Remember - there's no requirement for car seats on buses, coaches and trains either. And trains can travel much faster than cars.

Train crashed are extremely rare in comparison to RTCs though so that's not comparable.
Seat belts/car seats are the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy.

Move to an Airbnb. Don’t see why he’s sulking because you wanted to keep your dc safe.

Hahahaha. Snorting on my wine.

I have commented this on other posts… but I have learned my lesson about going on holiday with the laws! All your parenting decisions WILL be judged… for 2 weeks…

Must be a theme lol my ex in laws did this 16ish years ago

It's no car seats required for short journeys.... not sure what the law would class as a short journey in time or distance.
We have to use a car seat for DS9 when we taxi to certain hospitals a distance away.