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Original poster

To think that paying for airplane seats has broken air travel for families?

234 replies

raggedymum · 26/08/2025 13:13

I just get so stressed when I see anything about plane seat issues - everyone is all "you should pay" but it doesn't take into account all the things that can go wrong, and there is now zero compassion or willingness to shift from other passengers. And somewhat reasonably, as they have paid for their seats!

I'm still traumatised from 6-leg (3 each way) flight last year with DH and then-10yo DD, where despite paying close to £1K to select seats (for very tall DH to get extra legroom and make sure the family was sat together), we sat together on only 1 of the 6 legs. First leg was fine. Second leg - long haul - 2 of the 3 seats we had booked were literally broken and NO ONE could sit there. It took ages for the flight attendants to find anyone willing to move to allow me and DD to sit next to each other for the 8-hour flight. DD (probably ND, we're looking into it), not having flown since she was 4 before the pandemic, was in tears and terrified. At least DH got his extra legroom in the non-broken original seat. Then, that flight encountered weather and we missed the connection. So obviously we didn't have the seats we had paid for on the flight that left before we got off the plane. Again, massive difficulty to find anywhere to get even two seats together. I managed to get behind DD (aisle seats - yet the middles next to us didn't want to move to an aisle to allow us to sit together - I have actually seen threads from people explaining that they chose such on purpose...). Return journey they had overbooked the plane and printed boarding passes with our seats for multiple people. Again, lots of angst but we got DD and me next to each other (and DD absolutely in a panic remembering the problems on the flight over, and me not so far behind). Weather again, and despite actually making the connection, we got there so late they had removed our seats from the system and put other people in them. This time DH was crunched in a regular seat and we did manage to get me and DD together in some middle seats. Final leg the plane was a different type than planned, so at least nobody had seats they had booked, although people still insisted on their seat if they existed in this plane. Again, couldn't get three together and lots of difficulty over arranging for me and DD together. Didn't help that DD was a very tall 10yo (see tall DH...) and people seemed to think she was a stroppy teen and not a panicking possibly-ND 10yo at the end of a very long series of flights.

I'm grateful that I managed to get next to DD on all but one of the legs, but it was so incredibly stressful that I have a panic response at the thought of flying long-haul again, making me really not want to visit family overseas anytime soon...

I completely understand that people don't want to give up seats they may have paid £100+ for. But the fact that everybody pays for very specific seats now means that the gate staff can't shift people who haven't yet checked in around (while keeping groups together) like they used to, to help sort out groups broken up for various reasons. And there is no sympathy because "you should have paid" even when you DID pay (a lot!).

I wonder if instead of picking specific seats, you could pay for "3 seats together with extra legroom", "an aisle seat in cheap economy", etc. I guess that would be much harder for the airlines to sort and figure out if they even could sell that combination, instead of just showing the little maps you select from.

OP posts:
Allby · 26/08/2025 14:03

I agree, it has made people territorial over "their" seat and leads to "couples booking the window and aisle seats in the hope no one will book the middle seat issue" which exacerbates the problems for families with DC.

We booked and paid for seats (we always do) so we could be with our DC on a recent flight. Got on the plane (towards the end of boarding as my ASD son does not cope well with sitting and waiting) and a man was (incorrectly) in one of "our" seats - he was instantly angry and accused us of not paying and expecting him to move to accommodate us sitting with our kids. Not the case at all, he was just in the wrong seat. He completely refused to move and the attendant had to get involved. Even when shown where he should be sitting in the row behind (ironically in the middle of a couple) he refused to move unless he got an aisle seat. The couple then moved up to allow him the aisle but the three sat there the whole flight complaining how it was my fault (not sure how they came to that conclusion) and that people who have paid should get the seats they have chosen and shouldn't have to move for "cheapskates".

booksunderthebed · 26/08/2025 14:02

An easy way to solve it would be for cabin crew to have vouchers to give out to passengers they need to move.

LlynTegid · 26/08/2025 13:58

I would not use the word traumatised, but I think it should be outlawed. Or at least any airline that does it being denied landing slots at UK airports.

Original poster
raggedymum · 26/08/2025 13:57

Cynic17 · 26/08/2025 13:50

OP, you do understand, don't you, that if you didn't pay separately for allocated seats, the cost would just be rolled up into the total price? So, back in the "old days" you might pay £500 for a flight...... your reserved seat, hold luggage, taxes and food were all "free".
Now you might pay £250 for a flight, but with all the other extras added on separately, the total amount that you pay is still £500. It is just a marketing ploy, no more and no less. So it really makes zero difference either way!

Yes, but for the same price to not have people yelling at me and my daughter and getting vicious glares for a whole plane flight, I'd go for that. Or seriously, I'd even pay more for that.

OP posts:
Original poster
raggedymum · 26/08/2025 13:55

KateMiskin · 26/08/2025 13:44

I think using the word traumatised here is really overkill.

Yeah, I agree - but I couldn't find another word that covered it. I really do have an actual panic atttack if DH suggests visiting his folks. Which isn't particular good for in-law relations...

OP posts:
Original poster
raggedymum · 26/08/2025 13:53

That aside the idea of 3 connecting flights would be very stressful to me and thus far I have only ever booked direct flights. I might book connecting now I am older and DS is grown up but I couldn’t face it when he was younger. Obviously if visiting family you may not have a choice but I would for example take a long driver to the airport if possible in order to fly direct.

Hah! This was with in-laws driving 3 hours to pick us up from the airport from their middle-of-nowhere US home. We've at times had 4-leg flights. 3 is the norm, although for a few years before the pandemic there were 2-leg options. Haven't seen them since. It often throws up 5-leg options but we reject those (2 in the UK, 3 in the US), even though it costs more for 3- or 4-legs.

And the cost really sums up when you're paying extra legroom and long haul for 3 people. I think the in the future might just get DH extra legroom on his own and me and DD together. I had no idea we wouldn't actually get what we paid for. Really glad to hear this isn't the norm, we hadn't flown in so long, so it seemed like "this is how things are now" with all the changes and overbooking and such. No refunds - apparently there are caveats on the stuff you buy. And the overbooking was on a US partner airline with no real control from ours (apparently very common in the US).

OP posts:
Cynic17 · 26/08/2025 13:50

OP, you do understand, don't you, that if you didn't pay separately for allocated seats, the cost would just be rolled up into the total price? So, back in the "old days" you might pay £500 for a flight...... your reserved seat, hold luggage, taxes and food were all "free".
Now you might pay £250 for a flight, but with all the other extras added on separately, the total amount that you pay is still £500. It is just a marketing ploy, no more and no less. So it really makes zero difference either way!

LuckysDadsHat · 26/08/2025 13:48

We had this happen a few years ago OP. They put my then 4 year old rows in front of me and husband somewhere different. No one in daughters row would move, so I said to her "I will be sat down there, if you need me shout". And the passenger next to her said "what are you just going to leave her here?" I replied "unless you can magic a seat out of your butt, then yes, I have no other choice as the airline has messed up." The thought of a 7 hour flight with a 4 year old, sent him into a meltdown and suddenly he didnt want his seat so badly and moved. The airline were crap and did nothing to help even though it was there fault.

Friendlygingercat · 26/08/2025 13:46

If you want me to move to a worse seat on a plane its cash up front!

PullTheBricksDown · 26/08/2025 13:45

I agree that you've been very unlucky on this last trip. I also think the CFs who don't want or can't be bothered to pay, but just decide that they'll raise hell on the day and make someone move then, are to blame for the general feeling that people who do this are lazy scammers wanting something for nothing rather than people who've paid but fallen foul of a mistake in the system.

incognitomouse · 26/08/2025 13:45

The system generally works, you can't expect them to change the entire system because it didn't work for you.

If I pay for the seat I want, I'm not budging. I wouldn't expect anyone else to either.

KateMiskin · 26/08/2025 13:44

I think using the word traumatised here is really overkill.

IfYoureLeavingTakeMeToo · 26/08/2025 13:44

I've flown a lot, and have never had any problems like this.

You seem to be very unlucky

DiscoBob · 26/08/2025 13:43

I'd be happy if I was next to two broken unusable seats as you'd get more space.

ThunderousSkies · 26/08/2025 13:42

You are overreacting to one gruesome-sounding journey.

DeborahKerr · 26/08/2025 13:41

you had extreme bad luck

but I much prefer the current system where you are more guaranteed the seat you want than before. I don't like to have to check in first just to make sure I have my seat, at least now it's as guaranteed as could be.

Putting the price down for people who don't want a specific seat? Surely it's a bonus?

Maybe the price of air travel should go up again, and less people would actually travel?

TofuEater · 26/08/2025 13:40

It's a different pricing model from the past. Surely nobody thinks Ryanair can make money on their £20 dawn flights to Eastern Europe with a tiny luggage allownce. But it's good news for those who travel light and don't care where they sit

paristotokyo · 26/08/2025 13:40

I think you were very unlucky! I’ve up til now never had an issue with any of my paid seats, and on the rare occasion I have needed to ask someone if they could swap, never had any angst over it either.. I’d also be happy to move if asked, if the seat I needed to move to wasn’t a ‘worse’ seat for me.

Randomchat · 26/08/2025 13:39

It's horrible when it goes wrong. Once the plane we were supposed to be on was swapped for a different plane with different seat numbers so I ended up with ds8 on an emergency exit row. So we had to swap. And no-one was willing to swap without a massive fuss.

Everyone is so suspicious now that someone whose seat reservation goes wrong is somehow trying to cheat everyone else. It's horrible.

MyGreyStork · 26/08/2025 13:39

I’ve paid for my seat and not moving for anyone. Your kids are not my problem.

ilovesooty · 26/08/2025 13:39

It sounds as though you had a very distressing time and hopefully it won't happen again.
However I see that someone (not you) has already come up with the lone traveller who won't move. Why should they if they've paid extra for their seat choice? I bet it's lone travelling women who are generally put under pressure to move too.

AgeingDoc · 26/08/2025 13:37

Sorry that you had that experience OP, it sounds extremely stressful. But I think you were unlucky rather than the system being inherently bad. I'm old enough to remember the days before the low cost airlines began and in real terms air travel was a great deal more expensive than it is now. People want affordable travel, the airlines need to make money and the business model instigated by the likes of Easyjet and Ryanair delivers on that. In order to compete, other airlines have had to adopt the same system, because despite all the complaints you read on here, the bottom line is that people want the low prices. And for most people, most of the time, it works.

MumDadBingoBlueyy · 26/08/2025 13:37

I’m a teacher who semi-regularly takes groups of students on plane trips… strangely they never separate our groups around the plane- regardless of overbooking etc.

Oneeyedonkey · 26/08/2025 13:34

I don't pay for seats unless its ryanair prime where it comes as a bundle.
Times we have been separated.
Nil.
Not once.

Shinyandnew1 · 26/08/2025 13:34

Goodness, we fly most years and have never had our booked seats changed or unavailable due to 'weather'. How unlucky. Hopefully that won't ever happen again.

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