To think that paying for airplane seats has broken air travel for families?

FFS RTFT.

Shouting and agression- particularly at a child- is never ok. I am going to hazard that all travellers into the US are stressed and angry right now because of all the myrisd reasons.

Simple answer: UK holidays. Holidays don't have to be hot and sunny.
Holidays can be adventures to places you've not been before.

I HATE flying in the US.

I didn't even get offered a drink or a sandwich after being downgraded from business to economy and having to run for the flight (so not having time to get anything to eat at the airport).

And then getting to Atlanta, having to transfer my own luggage onto my connecting flight because they're apparently the only country in the world that can't figure out how to do this, having to politely answer the immigration official's fucking stupid questions about why I was in the US and how long I was staying (look at my ticket, dipshit, it's a 4 hour layover and believe me I do not want to be in your godforsaken hole of a country even for that long!) and then getting to the lounge to discover that the drinks there weren't even free.

I literally will only go to the US if being paid to do so.

Wow, the entitlement of people living close enough to London to "just fly direct" and "go somewhere else".

Three legs is pretty normal if you need to get from point A to point B, not just picking your holidays from the agency list.

I agree with the OP.
People paying for specific seats makes it much harder for the crew on the plane to work around unexpected situations.
Yes, it works fine for charter style flights, when everyone goes to the same destination, but it isn't flexible enough for real world situations.

At the same time, it is something the airlines decided to do, so the best reaction is pushing any subsequent problems back on them as much as possible.

@raggedymum I am going to post on here exactly what I put on the thread that might have inspired this thread:
If you want to take control of this for the return leg, then put £100 cash x 2 in your pocket and offer it each person/couple that you want to move.
That will pay back the cost of the seats they have reserved plus give a little incentive. That puts the power in your hands and away from your husband.
I have had the £100 given to me in the past and I have also carried it when we had to book emergency last minute tickets.
It works in both directions.

If it wasn't possible to book seats, I wouldn't be able to fly in economy, or in Europe at all. I doubt I'm the only one. I'm pretty claustrophobic so need a front row aisle, and in Europe even in business I wouldn't be able to guarantee that if I couldn't book a seat. I'd actually be quite unhappy if I was asked to move as I'd feel I'd have to explain why little 5ft3 me needs so much legroom, or why no I don't want to swap for a superior window seat. And no doubt I'd feel like I was being glared at the whole flight for being difficult. I do think though that it shouldn't be allowed that a family can board a flight without having booked enough seats to make sure all under 12s are next to an adult, whether there's a charge or not.

I think I'd prefer if a cost remains though as it might become much harder for those people who do need specific seats to get them, and also those people who don't care where they sit are presumably the ones who are going to be happy moving if needed, so it seems appropriate they get a discount for taking that risk. Maybe the flight crew need a list of who's booked and who hasn't, and if they haven't they have to move wherever they're told. And if they have paid but still absolutely have to move, they should have the seat cost refunded plus some compensation.

So there is another valid argument. As a single person my carben footprint is a lot lower than those who "chose" a family lifestyle which I (and people like me) heavily subsidise. So that makes me even less likely to agree to move once Ive settled myself. A little more humility and gratitude from families might serve to oil the wheels.

I do think you got spectacularly unlucky. It sounds a bruising experience.

What was the problem with the middle seats? Were you asking couples to split up?

I think you're right to blame the system not the individuals. I don't think it's selfishness, there is a sense that if you give up what you've paid for, you've been stung, made a fool of by the company who have pocketed your cash and given you thin air in return. And unless you really understand that the customer asking you DID pay for their seat, you might feel that customer is getting one over on you too. It feels like a zero sum game with a winner and a loser. It's a bit more complex than them being selfish or ungenerous.

I don't think vouchers for a future trip would cut it, or even promises that they can call customer services for a refund. Getting through to customer services, spending hours on hold, potentially ending up in the wrong automated system etc is a complete PITA. They'd really need to offer reliable, credible refunds to people prepared to swap and this whole thing would go away. They could do this by giving you a code you could use on the app you have probably already downloaded. But they don't, because it would eat into profits (which TBF can be quite tight.)

Mostly, though, you do get the seats you have paid for. You even saw this - on at least 5 of those aircraft, I bet nearly everyone on the flight did get their correct seat. It just feels very different.

I think that is an absolutely bonkers suggestion.

My children have never been on a plane because I find the very idea of it more hassle than it's worth and we made a decision as a family not to bother until our children were a bit older and we really wanted to go somewhere you can't get to any other way. We haven't been on holiday anywhere further than you can drive since they were born. Next year we plan to take them on their first ever flight, which is long haul.

A neuro-divergent child is not going to become a confident, seasoned traveller who is happy to sit away from her parents on a flight at the age of 10 simply by having taken a couple of short haul practice flights. And I wouldn't want my (neuro-typical, as far as I know) children sitting apart from me on a plane at the age of 10 anyway.

All your suggestion would achieve is worsening the family's carbon footprint by taking unnecessary flights for no particular reason.

there is now zero compassion or willingness to shift from other passengers.

Unfortunately, this is so. It's been noticeable how often, when travelling alone rather than with family, it's been assumed I could be shunted around like cattle to accommodate others' failure to book. It's also noticeable that the CF passengers tend to make a beeline for the lone female.

I need an aisle seat as a necessity, not just a preference. People who wanted that seat should have booked rather than expecting me to pay for that service.

Compassion works two ways, I'm afraid. My default answer is now a resolute 'no'.

3 different flights. That's your problem. All it takes is for one thing to go wrong and it all goes to shit.

I feel for you, we live abroad too. But I would always choose an extra couple of hours of driving and overnight hotel in London than relying on a connecting regional flight. That's just asking for trouble, especially in summer and winter.

Yeah, maybe it's just about changing the mindset to include that extra charge (if you need it).

I have to admit I find it quite irritating as you go through the process and the 'extras' keep piling on, it feels like death by a thousand cuts... that's probably just me being grumpy though 😂

So their panicky DD can get used to flying before dragging her around the world if they knew the trip was a possibility.

Or just drag a ND child on the most stressful possible journey and hope for the best.

I read this thinking who the hell were you flying with and how was it such a mess? Then realised you were flying to the US. US flights are a shit show.

Families should remember that its single people who are paying towards all their subs and handouts but getting very little back in exchange. Thats how I see it.

What for?

Part of the problem appears to be that you are too sensitive. You seem to have been overly concerned with the criticism of people around you.

Anyone yelling "You should have paid!" at my child and I in this situation would have got short shrift. Something along the lines of "We did pay. Now butt out of what doesn't concern you and bog off, you tosser!"

And the airline staff would have got "This is your problem. Now sort it out!" said in a loud tone that the whole cabin could hear.

Sometimes you've got to stop giving a fuck about what people around you think. Although we should all make an effort to show basic consideration to others, ultimately their opinions are irrelevant.

Ok just saw you were visiting ILs. Could you fly to a major airport direct and drive the rest of the way - it's quite the norm in the US, we used to fly to Toronto to visit family in Michigan, they used to drive 5 hours to collect us!

I've seen a few people wearing the sunflower lanyards at airports this summer, not sure how you get them but would be worth investigating.

So there was no chance at all to book a short haul flight in 6 years?