To think that paying for airplane seats has broken air travel for families?

234 replies

raggedymum · 26/08/2025 13:13

I just get so stressed when I see anything about plane seat issues - everyone is all "you should pay" but it doesn't take into account all the things that can go wrong, and there is now zero compassion or willingness to shift from other passengers. And somewhat reasonably, as they have paid for their seats!

I'm still traumatised from 6-leg (3 each way) flight last year with DH and then-10yo DD, where despite paying close to £1K to select seats (for very tall DH to get extra legroom and make sure the family was sat together), we sat together on only 1 of the 6 legs. First leg was fine. Second leg - long haul - 2 of the 3 seats we had booked were literally broken and NO ONE could sit there. It took ages for the flight attendants to find anyone willing to move to allow me and DD to sit next to each other for the 8-hour flight. DD (probably ND, we're looking into it), not having flown since she was 4 before the pandemic, was in tears and terrified. At least DH got his extra legroom in the non-broken original seat. Then, that flight encountered weather and we missed the connection. So obviously we didn't have the seats we had paid for on the flight that left before we got off the plane. Again, massive difficulty to find anywhere to get even two seats together. I managed to get behind DD (aisle seats - yet the middles next to us didn't want to move to an aisle to allow us to sit together - I have actually seen threads from people explaining that they chose such on purpose...). Return journey they had overbooked the plane and printed boarding passes with our seats for multiple people. Again, lots of angst but we got DD and me next to each other (and DD absolutely in a panic remembering the problems on the flight over, and me not so far behind). Weather again, and despite actually making the connection, we got there so late they had removed our seats from the system and put other people in them. This time DH was crunched in a regular seat and we did manage to get me and DD together in some middle seats. Final leg the plane was a different type than planned, so at least nobody had seats they had booked, although people still insisted on their seat if they existed in this plane. Again, couldn't get three together and lots of difficulty over arranging for me and DD together. Didn't help that DD was a very tall 10yo (see tall DH...) and people seemed to think she was a stroppy teen and not a panicking possibly-ND 10yo at the end of a very long series of flights.

I'm grateful that I managed to get next to DD on all but one of the legs, but it was so incredibly stressful that I have a panic response at the thought of flying long-haul again, making me really not want to visit family overseas anytime soon...

I completely understand that people don't want to give up seats they may have paid £100+ for. But the fact that everybody pays for very specific seats now means that the gate staff can't shift people who haven't yet checked in around (while keeping groups together) like they used to, to help sort out groups broken up for various reasons. And there is no sympathy because "you should have paid" even when you DID pay (a lot!).

I wonder if instead of picking specific seats, you could pay for "3 seats together with extra legroom", "an aisle seat in cheap economy", etc. I guess that would be much harder for the airlines to sort and figure out if they even could sell that combination, instead of just showing the little maps you select from.

OP posts:

ThejoyofNC · 26/08/2025 13:33

Where on earth were you flying to/from that you needed to get 3 flights each way? And that madness plus £1000 spent on selecting seats was preferable to flying direct?

theresapossuminthekitchen · 26/08/2025 13:32

I hope you complained and got your money back from the airline(s) - at least for the broken seats leg and the over-booking leg. It does sound like you were very unlucky but if airlines are going to charge extra for choosing seats then they have to provide them or refund (and frankly, with some form of compensation - after all, if it’s so important they can charge extra for it, they should recognise that it’s a ‘hardship’ not to get it…) We haven’t flown much in the last 10 years or so, but when we have we have managed to get seats together even without paying (or at least one child next to one parent, one child next to the other). I do find it absolutely shocking to read that airlines are seating small children (under 12) away from their parents unless they pay extra - I don’t think that should be allowed because in an emergency it would be dangerous as the child wouldn’t know what to do/more likely to panic and the parent would likely try to get to the child rather than nearest exit - but anything else is fair game, I guess.

Scarlettpixie · 26/08/2025 13:31

That sounds truly horrendous. However I think you were very unlucky and the system usually works. Also I am always surprised how many people refuse to move when they are sat alone. My son and I had booked aisle and middle on a recent flight but when a group of young adults got on and were dotted about, I offered the aisle seat to the girl on our row so she could talk to her friends and she was really grateful. It made little difference to me to budge up.

That aside the idea of 3 connecting flights would be very stressful to me and thus far I have only ever booked direct flights. I might book connecting now I am older and DS is grown up but I couldn’t face it when he was younger. Obviously if visiting family you may not have a choice but I would for example take a long driver to the airport if possible in order to fly direct.

ThisCharmingMum · 26/08/2025 13:30

YANBU based on this experience, but I doubt you could be this unlucky again (hopefully).

Conversely, we don’t pay for selected seats because DC are all over 12yo and we all quite like alone time on a flight. Getting up and visiting each other gives us a reason to stretch our legs.

However, booked Pegasus for Istanbul in July (without paying extra to select seats) and they put us all in a line together on flight out and on return flight 😂

GrumpyOldCrone · 26/08/2025 13:30

Choosing and paying for specific seats generally works very well and takes a lot of jeopardy out of travel that existed previously.

I’ve been flying (including long haul) since the 1970s and I have no memory of this jeopardy. Even when flights were delayed the seating was all sorted out by airline staff. It was much more straightforward. I have every sympathy for children who are understandably anxious about being separated from their parents (and, of course, for the parents too). I think the current system is awful and causes unnecessary stress.

Catpiece · 26/08/2025 13:29

Glad you weren’t on any of my plane trips.

ladybirdsanchez · 26/08/2025 13:28

You were extremely unlucky OP and unless you frequently take such convoluted trips with multiple legs and plane changes I think you need to take a deep breath. We travel often as a family and have very rarely had issues with seats. I take your point about check-in staff being unable to shift people around with the ease that they used to, but paying for seats is here to stay, because it's such a cash cow for airlines.

SnailPail · 26/08/2025 13:23

I select and pay for seats on every flight I take because DH is very tall and needs extra legroom. I’ve not had a single issue. I’m
not saying they don’t happen - your experience sounds horrendous - but I’ve not experienced that personally at all.

Swiftie1878 · 26/08/2025 13:21

I think you have been badly burned by your last (what sounds a horrendous) trip, and it is tainting your view.
You were very unlucky, but it is quite rare to have such a succession of events leading to the issues you had with seats.
Choosing and paying for specific seats generally works very well and takes a lot of jeopardy out of travel that existed previously.

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