Not with kids dad anymore. He was very abusive when together, but still tries to control me now.
Since split, 13 yrs ago, he has always refused to give me a penny in child maintenance, instead only offering to pay anything school related. CMS at the time of the split said this isn't something I have to accept and to go for CM application, but I was just happy not to have any more upset from him so was happy to accept his proposed arrangement.
I will add that roughly five years ago I had opted to go through the CMS route, and he laughed at me as he told me he was on UC so I wouldn't be entitled to anything. This turned out to be rue and CMS offered me nil, due to his income being UC and him having kids with current partner who reside with him. He then offered me one last chance to cancel the CMS application and to continue with his former agreement of paying for whatever the kids needed for school - which was at the time their uniforms, the odd school trip, and their bus passes, all of which didn't equate to more than £800 a year. I felt my hands were somewhat tied and agreed.
Literally within weeks, he set up a seemingly lucrative business and I felt he had planned this all along, I shook my head and continued.
Fast forward to now.
He has gotten increasingly mentally abusive still trying to control me, and lately my children too. One of my children now wants nothing to do with him, as his controlling behaviour with them has spiralled. In light of this I didn't want to continue asking him for money for uniforms (which is what I always have to do every time they need something for school), what with it being the start of the new school year again, so I have decided to go back to CMS and to stick with them whatever the outcome!
Up until now, every time they needed something school related, I felt he got a kick out of "providing" for his kids each time I had to ask for something. He always wanted me to prove whatever was needed and to justify the amount spent on that specific thing. I hated it. Aswell as this, he has always paraded himself as the more caring parent Infront of the kids, telling them that he is the one who pays for their school stuff, and mum doesn't, as though I don't care!? When infact this was an arrangement between us parents.
Overall, he has done very little and has squirmed almost every time he has had to put his hand in his pocket and I am not doing it anymore. I want nothing to do with him and this is the one last thing he is using to manipulate me with.
Today he sent the kids messages on their phones telling them "mum has decided to go back to CMS and as a result, he won't be paying for their phone contracts anymore". He sounded rather cheery in his tone, I must admit. So I fully expect that he has somehow lied to CMS about his income this time. Either way, im sticking with my decision this time, whatever the outcome is.
AIBU to have gone and cut contact with him and gone back to CMS?