Ex's gf buying DD back to school uniform

Absolutely this!

Sorry YABU. You asked him to sort it and he did.

This has nothing to do with the uniform and everything to do with feeling insecure.

You don’t get to control or dictate how time is spent with her dad, or who he chooses to get to do what with her.

Give your head a shake, and thank the woman for making the effort with your daughter to ensure she has everything she needs for school.

YABU
Uniform bought. End of story.

And if he'd come back and said no,I can't afford it, you'd be moaning he doesn't pull his weight.

I can understand the instinctive feelings that might come up of being being stepped over but your feelings are misdirected - they should be frustration that ex couldn’t get his act together enough to sort out uniform for his own child independently, not the partner that has stepped up and done it for a child that ultimately they are not responsible for. Equally though, you asked him to sort it, and - albeit through someone else - he did, so not sure what else you can really say 🤷‍♀️

Be grateful the woman shows an interest in your daughter and is able to provide for her when her parents are unable to do so.

You should send her a thank you message.

I bought my daughter new shoes when she spent last summer with me ( she lives with her dad and stepmum) on the way home in the car the stepmum threw the shoes I bought out of the car window and made my daughter carry on wearing scuffed and holey shoes that I’d sent back to save the aggro of “you threw her shoes away”
Don’t be that person, be thankful to the stepmum.

Totally agree. If GF is close enough to XH and your DD to buy her school uniform you should have GF’s number so you can thank her yourself.

First post nailed it!

I strongly doubt you'd be complaining if (eg) his mother or sister had sorted the uniform for him. You just feel weird about it because it's his partner. But you need to move past that I think. To be perfectly honest, I think it was bloody good of her to do it!

This. And noting that step mothers can’t win ….

I often get uniform for my DSC or anything else they need. DH leads on parenting but we are a team at the end of the day and I enjoy spending time with DSC. Not sure why it’s an issue.

YABU, my partner (not my kids Dad) nipped out and picked up school uniform today without even being asked because he spotted it and knew I was planning on going. I wasn't annoyed, just grateful someone helped out. You asked him to get it and he's sorted it. Say thank you and move on.

You asked him to do it so you obviously wasn’t going to do it yourself - say thanks to her!

Saved you some money and one less thing to worry about. Just thank them both and move on.

Is he one of those lazy dads who can’t be bothered to do it or is too mean to fork out? Does the gf think if she’s a doormat he will think more of her?
The children are his responsibility and not his girlfriends. No I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

I buy my step daughters uniform every year, my DH works away and isn't as organised with what sizes and how much uniform each kid needs so it's easier for me to just get her uniform while I'm getting my own kids uniform, I've never even considered that her Mam might have a problem with it. Yabu.

Or he had a valid reason of why he couldn't. But he still managed to make sure the DD has what she needs.

Most people would think having no car is no reason to not go shopping. There are alternatives. But that's OPS reason. Her ex may have had his valid reason too.

This.
thank her directly if you can.
She will probably care for your daughter well for as long as she puts up with her Dad.

As do most people. Taxis and online shopping are also a thing.

Yabu.

You had a problem. He got it sorted. You can't control how he sorted that for you. But he hasn't done you a favour, he is being a parent, arranging the purchase of what your DD needed.

His girlfriend is his current partner so of course there will be things that he can and will ask her to do or she will volunteer to do to help him out. You don't get to have a say in that or control that.

If you think he's done this to wind you up, play him the same way. Don't give him the satisfaction of showing how you feel.

Your relationship as his wife/partner is over. You now need to co-parent amicably.

I got my kids their school uniforms every year for 15 years without the aid of a car, buses work.

It's not overstepping - your ex had a job to do, your girlfriend helped him.

It sounds like you are struggling with their relationship, you didn't have to ask him to get it really, it sounds like it was a test, you wanted to force dd and Dad to go together as a favour to you without GF and it backfired.
Next time do it online

Just be thankful she has new uniform coming from somewhere! If you think it’s one of those things where shes holding it over your head to be petty just message her and say