To feel resentment that my parents are so well off

Some people, of every generation, have it hard.

Some people, of every generation, have it easier.

That's random comment without any proof behind it. Some boomers are generous, some aren't so much.

This what sickens me -that elderly people, private tenants and mortgage payers alike are being farmed by financial institutions (be they private equity care home owners, corporate landlords, banks) who can use ordinary people to suck wealth out of the economy and into their pockets, on the back of high house prices. It paralyses everything. I'm not an ecomist but I'm willing to bet that (and brexit perhaps) are big reasons our economy underperforms.

A cynic might think those same moneybags beneficiaries might find it very convenient if all the people who've been robbed by this situation, were to blame asylum seekers for their rotten life chances.

When I was late 20s/early 30s, I thought the same.
I knuckled down and maximized my career and earnings. Took risks, blagged jobs, and went for the money even if I didn't really love the job it was a step to my goal.
I bunged money in pension
I overpaid the mortgage
I started my family at 39.
I bought solar panels - they pay all our energy needs
Now 30 years later I'm reaping the dividends. State retirement is later than I expected but my hard work earlier on has allowed me some grace to take a less stressful job for the past few years till I retire officially. Just got to hope I live long enough to enjoy it (mum d aged 69)

My Grandparents bought a house now worth around £250k she worked as a maid in a hotel he worked in the cellar at same hotel, very low wages. Both held down low paid jobs, he put up telegraph poles for BT and she worked various jobs. They worked constantly until he got laid off by BT. She was screwed over in her pension (I've seen the paperwork) but he got a FSP. They paid off the house in just less than 4 years. So if Ops parents made a bit more effort than my Gps I think it's doable especially if that house was down south London area.

Some did, some didn’t. An evening in the pub was two halves of lager. I don’t think our pub even sold wine and we’d never have dreamed of drinking spirits - far too expensive! Just as we’d never had dreamed of getting a taxi home afterwards. Taxis were an expensive luxury.

I never had a proper holiday as a child. Once a year we’d go on the train to the seaside for a day. We stayed with an aunt in Kent for a week once. When I was an adult I had one holiday in Cornwall for a week in a caravan. I didn’t start having regular holidays until my 30s. Every penny went on the house and bills.

Because it’s the norm for adult children to inherit from their parents when they die.

Do they have the opportunity to purchase a house at the same price level as your generation?

Yeah it's shit. I feel very worried for my kids. I am lucky I bought my house in 2006 and got a 100% mortgage. They didn't even ask for my payslip! And actually tried to get me to take a 125% mortgage!

I won't inherit much from parents nor will my husband. So our kids are fucked basically because we aren't rich at all.

I’m a boomer and am pleased to watch my adult children have much easier lives than I did. They went to university, have travelled extensively and are on their first step on the housing ladder.

i had very little left to live on when mortgage rates were over 12 per cent. I did 3 jobs at one point.

My children remember this and are pleased to see me relax more now although question how I managed on the salary I retired on. My aspirations were much lower having been raised differently.

Property prices were lower and I appreciate that. It made a huge difference. My generation did not imagine the increases that we have seen in recent years. We just wanted somewhere to live. Low interest rates and higher wages are the culprit.

Also,you have to bear in mind that your parents’s financial situation could change overnight.
For example when one parent dies, the other immediately loses access to their state pension & usually loses half of any private pension. This is a substantial loss.

It doesn’t take a genius to work out that you will have the same financial security one day.

🤦🏻‍♀️

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing Good point if you acknowledge an advantage it's not a good look refusing to share or help others.

I have no idea! I don’t think anyone likes to think they had an advantage through luck, and that their achievements weren’t 100% their own.

Look at anyone who went to a private school - there’s never an acknowledgement that they had a big advantage. Look at those who hold other privileges that give us a head start - white people, men, the able bodied etc - no one wants to say, genuinely, “well actually I was lucky, I don’t deserve this more than you do”. I guess in case they are asked to share!

Times were actually quite tough in the early 50s when your parents were born. Mass rebuilding after WW2 & some rashioning still on. Winters were colder, only coal fires in our house, it was freezing.
No credit cards, my parents saved money before buying a major purchase. We didn’t have a washing machine until the 70s.
Decry that generation all you want but it’s a world you will never have to live in.
They’ll be passed on before you know it & then the money you’re so jealous of now will be yours. Unless of course their health deteriorates & the money will be eaten up with Carers or Nursing Home fees.
There is no perfect time to be born.

For OP and anyone else who is interested in why this is can I suggest you read Inheritocracy by Eliza Filby, she explains it perfectly!

That lady is pretty much a unicorn these days. It's almost impossible to get that funding. My mum had a massive stroke which left her paralysed and helpless, but she didn't qualify, because despite needing 24 hour care, it didn't involve medical intervention. Just giving her mountains of pills and doing everything else for her.

Well I hope they spend it all on themselves having read this.

It doesn’t take a genius to work out that you will have the same financial security one day. That 800k house may be worth £1mill in ten years and depending on the number of siblings you have you will be very very wealthy. Things change very quickly indeed. We went from being mortgaged to the hilt, to being mortgage free when a parent died.

Afraid that’s not the case with my parents - they had 2 foreign holidays a year, were members of a gym/spa and a tennis club, and went for monthly date nights.

the fact you’re using coffee out as an example shows how out of touch you are. Even if someone got coffee out every weekday, that’s £20 a week, so roughly £1k a year. So would still take 50 years of no coffee to save a house deposit!

also on house expectations; every single person of my generation who I know who has bought a property has bought a fixer-upper. Nobody has been able to afford a house that’s been “done up”.

Marry rich. The young have far more opportunities than my own generation.

My in-laws' house is worth £850k now, but they bought it for £20k in 1972. They might move nearer us soon, so we'll see them more and obviously they will use some of that to fund their move, and their future finances.

My parents are also very well off, and have assets and a very good final salary pension for which my DF worked incredibly hard for and rose to the top of his profession as a highly regarded academic and professor.

I know there was also an element of luck, being born into the right generation, working hard and saving /sacrifices when necessary. But i always think it's still pretty hard for millennial aged people and younger to achieve any of these types of huge financial benefits since house prices may never rise that much again.

I don't begrudge my family though. Their money is rightfully theirs, and it's been earned through a combination of hard work and good fortune. It serves no purpose being resentful as it won't change anything now. I'm grateful to have happy and healthy family who can enjoy their grandchildren, that matters much more to me.

Your parents, like mine who are no longer with us, possibly worked additional jobs to their main careers and didn't have the same amount of expenditure which is the norm now, eg 2 cars per household, expensive phones and holidays etc. People of our parents' generation had a totally different concept of money and saving.

There's nothing to feel angry about and you should be very proud of your parents rather than resentful.

Pint of beer 1980 about 15p
Pint of beer 2025 about £5

Corrected for inflation 15p 1980 is now is worth about 65p

Average wage 1980 about £6000
Average wage 2025 about £38000

So wages up by 6x, beer up by 33x.

So not a great time for the beer drinker in a pub over the last 4 decades. It's become a factor of about 5-6 more expensive to drink the same amount relative to wages.

Was living at home with parents in a council flat. I still did pay mum something towards food, but yes, lived very cheaply for 2 years

A lot fewer council flats these days & many parents can't keep adult dc at home in them.