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Original poster

I've just seen the most depressing thing

512 replies

Havesomecommonsense · 26/08/2025 10:48

In a coffee shop, in comes a Dad and his daughter (roughly 3 years old)
He made a comment to the daughter about this being a weekly visit before he dropped her back to the mum
He then sat her on his lap, gave her a phone and she watched instagram videos and he watched his own phone holding it over her head..
He gave her some food, which she kept choking on intermittently. He barely said 2 words to her
Yes I'm judging, but fgs do better

OP posts:
Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 18:51

DeborahKerr · 27/08/2025 18:43

It is how it works, I am not banning you from talking, just pointing out that your opinion is completely irrelevant because you don't know what you are talking about.

Anyone without children is a perfect parent, it's easy 😂

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And you've decided I don't have children

OP posts:
Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 18:51

Anchorage56 · 27/08/2025 18:47

I think its obvious you also need a reminder about the basics of acceptable human interaction then 🙄

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You know I was joking about it being my hobby right?

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 27/08/2025 18:47

Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 18:46

Yes it's my hobby

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I think its obvious you also need a reminder about the basics of acceptable human interaction then 🙄

OonaStubbs · 27/08/2025 18:47

IMO smart phones should be banned. They have had a very negative effect on society.

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 18:46

Anchorage56 · 27/08/2025 18:45

And you think its acceptable to be sat close to a stranger at a coffee shop and watch them the whole time?

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Yes it's my hobby

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 27/08/2025 18:45

Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 18:42

Not made up. You can keep troll hunting. Happy for MN to investigate if reported. All true. I was sitting next to them. On a bench seat. Fairly close quarters.

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And you think its acceptable to be sat close to a stranger at a coffee shop and watch them the whole time?

DeborahKerr · 27/08/2025 18:43

Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 18:40

Nope . Not how this works. You are not the thread police

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It is how it works, I am not banning you from talking, just pointing out that your opinion is completely irrelevant because you don't know what you are talking about.

Anyone without children is a perfect parent, it's easy 😂

GreenFlag · 27/08/2025 18:42

Wedonttalkaboutboris · 27/08/2025 18:21

This isn’t a ‘present’ moment with his daughter though. It sounds like he just ignored her for the whole time.

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Maybe he wants to enjoy a passive moment like the rest of us get to have with our children.

Some of my most cherished memories are those little moments.

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 18:42

Anchorage56 · 27/08/2025 18:33

This is absolute made up nonsense- how can you know that over the 25 mins there was no eye contact but at the same time you were able to see exactly what the child was looking at on the phone? Where were you sitting? In front, to the side, behind? How can you spend the whole time invested in what these two were doing anyway! Were you just staring at them the whole time!

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Not made up. You can keep troll hunting. Happy for MN to investigate if reported. All true. I was sitting next to them. On a bench seat. Fairly close quarters.

OP posts:
Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 18:40

DeborahKerr · 27/08/2025 18:33

until you tell us if you have kids yourself, and how old they are, anything you say is completely meaningless

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Nope . Not how this works. You are not the thread police

OP posts:
DeborahKerr · 27/08/2025 18:34

SixtySomething · 27/08/2025 18:27

What nonsense.

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and this is how we have MIL from hell threads,

and how to go non-contact with my mother threads 😂

Anchorage56 · 27/08/2025 18:33

Havesomecommonsense · 26/08/2025 18:00

It is not performance parenting to actually like your child and talk to them..
Sitting for 25 mins with no eye contact and both staring at a phone when one is 3 years old is not OK. No matter how people try to spin it here.
I don't understand why people think in extremes on here. Sit in silence or be over the tol performance parenting. What happened to NORMAL behaviour like talking to your child, sharing a joke , chatting about the day, pointing out stuff, talking about future plans for the day.

This is absolute made up nonsense- how can you know that over the 25 mins there was no eye contact but at the same time you were able to see exactly what the child was looking at on the phone? Where were you sitting? In front, to the side, behind? How can you spend the whole time invested in what these two were doing anyway! Were you just staring at them the whole time!

DeborahKerr · 27/08/2025 18:33

Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 06:14

Are you making a judgey comment because you are confusing your opinion with facts and the reality of being a parent, or are you pretending to be superior because of the way you are raising your own little darling?

Neither of these snarky options
I'm not confused, it's a fact that he was not parenting well.
And not pretending to be superior

What a strange and needlessly snide post

until you tell us if you have kids yourself, and how old they are, anything you say is completely meaningless

SixtySomething · 27/08/2025 18:27

Edenmum2 · 26/08/2025 12:00

insane thing to say. Absolutely none of your business what your daughter does with her own child.

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What nonsense.

Perfectmixofcute · 27/08/2025 18:23

Justgorgeous · 27/08/2025 18:22

OP, there will be many people that defend it and those are the people that give their children screens and social media at 8 years old.

Nailed it

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 18:22

Wedonttalkaboutboris · 27/08/2025 18:21

This isn’t a ‘present’ moment with his daughter though. It sounds like he just ignored her for the whole time.

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He did

OP posts:
Justgorgeous · 27/08/2025 18:22

OP, there will be many people that defend it and those are the people that give their children screens and social media at 8 years old.

Wedonttalkaboutboris · 27/08/2025 18:21

GreenFlag · 27/08/2025 18:10

Maybe a relaxing moment with his daughter is what he’d been looking forward to all week. Just because he doesn’t live with her doesn’t mean he should be a performative Disney dad on the days he has her.

This isn’t a ‘present’ moment with his daughter though. It sounds like he just ignored her for the whole time.

GreenFlag · 27/08/2025 18:10

Maybe a relaxing moment with his daughter is what he’d been looking forward to all week. Just because he doesn’t live with her doesn’t mean he should be a performative Disney dad on the days he has her.

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 13:35

BatchCookBabe · 27/08/2025 13:34

.

Edited
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No not astounding
However much troll hunting you do, it won't change the fact that this did happen

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 27/08/2025 13:34

Dundonia · 27/08/2025 08:19

lol isn’t it convenient that he happened to mention to his child about it being a weekly visit before returning her mum etc, just enough narrative for you to form a nice clear picture.

.

BatchCookBabe · 27/08/2025 13:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

redjeans28 · 27/08/2025 13:10

Lairymary it's been said repeatedly on the thread, no-one is talking about ND children. If you had bothered to read my post I actually said I understand how much of a godsend screens can be for some children.

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 08:51

RhaenysRocks · 27/08/2025 08:47

It's one line , not hard to imagine at all that the OP would over hear it and its irrelevant anyway. Who cares? The point of the discussion is if it's poor parenting to act as he did? Everyone is so busy picking part the op and devising the most unlikely scenarios to justify it and show how "unjudgy" they are..maybe if we had a few more people looking out for neglected kids there'd be fewer of them on the news. And yes I know there's a large difference between ignoring your kid for a screen and harming them in the way we have seen but it's the wider point. Sometimes some judgement is exactly what is needed.

Exactly
MN does go weird these days on some threads, some posters seem to be Intent on closing down a discussion which is against the point of the whole frigging site!

OP posts:
Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 27/08/2025 08:47

Dundonia · 27/08/2025 08:19

lol isn’t it convenient that he happened to mention to his child about it being a weekly visit before returning her mum etc, just enough narrative for you to form a nice clear picture.

Lol 🙄
This is what happened

OP posts:
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