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AIBU?

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I've just seen the most depressing thing

512 replies

Havesomecommonsense · 26/08/2025 10:48

In a coffee shop, in comes a Dad and his daughter (roughly 3 years old)
He made a comment to the daughter about this being a weekly visit before he dropped her back to the mum
He then sat her on his lap, gave her a phone and she watched instagram videos and he watched his own phone holding it over her head..
He gave her some food, which she kept choking on intermittently. He barely said 2 words to her
Yes I'm judging, but fgs do better

OP posts:
Bluevelvetsofa · 26/08/2025 12:04

Some time ago, I had my arse handed to me on here because I commented on someone walking along with a pram, so engrossed in her phone that she had no idea what was going on around, or whether the baby was OK, let alone any interaction with the child. I was told it could have been an emergency, making an appointment, hearing something she needed to respond to.

I think it’s just lazy, anti social and setting up for a future of poor social skills.

Edenmum2 · 26/08/2025 12:00

Campingisnexttogodliness · 26/08/2025 11:52

I've told my dd I ever see her shoving a screen at her dd in public I'll be removing it.

insane thing to say. Absolutely none of your business what your daughter does with her own child.

Tay596 · 26/08/2025 11:58

That's so sad OP, poor kid. This sort of thing always brings out the defensive posters that clearly do similar though!

DeafLeppard · 26/08/2025 11:57

I hate the trope that “oh, it’s only a snapshot, it might be the only down time they have”. Pound to a penny the people doing this do it all the time, they haven’t just finished 2 hours of wholes father - daughter bonding.

StillFeelingTired · 26/08/2025 11:56

Campingisnexttogodliness · 26/08/2025 11:52

I've told my dd I ever see her shoving a screen at her dd in public I'll be removing it.

and your dd would be quite right to tell you to fuck off. You have parented your children and you have no right to tell your dd how to parent hers. Don’t be so fucking smug.

ThunderousSkies · 26/08/2025 11:54

Campingisnexttogodliness · 26/08/2025 11:52

I've told my dd I ever see her shoving a screen at her dd in public I'll be removing it.

Maybe let her parent her own way?

Campingisnexttogodliness · 26/08/2025 11:52

I've told my dd I ever see her shoving a screen at her dd in public I'll be removing it.

Havesomecommonsense · 26/08/2025 11:52

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 26/08/2025 11:31

A 3yr old watching Instagram? Really? Far more likely she was watching something like Bluey, surely?

I wouldn't give my small child a phone at all and certainly not in a cafe but this one occasion isn't enough for me to speculate on the long term wellbeing of the child.

If she really was given unfettered access to Instagram I would judge hard though.

Definitely instagram.

Yes I know don't know the full story etc but there's no excuse for it .

OP posts:
Havesomecommonsense · 26/08/2025 11:51

Ablondiebutagoody · 26/08/2025 11:04

It's the first time that you've seen this?

Yes never to this extreme

OP posts:
CremeEggsForBreakfast · 26/08/2025 11:31

A 3yr old watching Instagram? Really? Far more likely she was watching something like Bluey, surely?

I wouldn't give my small child a phone at all and certainly not in a cafe but this one occasion isn't enough for me to speculate on the long term wellbeing of the child.

If she really was given unfettered access to Instagram I would judge hard though.

Ablondiebutagoody · 26/08/2025 11:04

It's the first time that you've seen this?

PInkyStarfish · 26/08/2025 10:53

A brief snapshot of a person’s life doesn’t give you the whole picture.

Of course it’s awful to be on your phone instead of giving a child your full attention but I see women everywhere I go that are glued to their phones. I also think children being given a phone as entertainment is sad.

But, you know nothing about him. He could be depressed and struggling to cope with the break up. He could have not long finished a night shift and be exhausted. His grandmother may have just died! Anything absolutely anything that you know nothing about could have caused him to feel weary and cope the best way he could at that moment in time.

Yes, chances are he was clueless but even so…

I have to say that whenever I see men on their own with children they are engaging and talking to their, it’s women that are glued to their phones.

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