I've just seen the most depressing thing

Oh so I’m throwing gadgets at my GC now, like I’m their parent and get that choice, like their own parents aren’t perfectly capable of parenting well themselves?

That’s a great atreeeeeetch!

imagine having a child you’ve raised unable to parent well and you’ve got to step in and remove items, control
them, and dictate your rules and if they dare to disagree, you’re labelled as defensive.

Incidentally I only have boys, no DDs, just lovely DILs.

Anyway you’ve been called out by a number of PPs on this post for your attitude, time to chill for you.

Good to see you get plenty of screen time yourself mind, are you DC being entertained elsewhere? By GPs perhaps? 🤔

It's none of your business how your dd parents her child.
I wouldn't be inviting my dm out anywhere with us if she tried talking to me like that.

Your dd will probably be making loads of threads about you on here and talking about going LC 😆

I was once in a supermarket with my 5 year old in the trolley who was watching my phone.

A man (not Australian - from Western Europe) starts expressing his discontent at my child being on my phone. He was huffing and puffing and getting more and more aggressive and publicly admonishing me.

I just ignored him. But it was getting to the point that he was going to get physical because he couldn’t calm down.

The thing is my child is severely autistic. We were minding our own business.

I agree with you that it’s sad that this child was being ignored. I also think it’s sad that father’s push for 50/50 custody so they don’t have to pay child support.

That doesn't mean you're not throwing gadgets at your GC every time they dare move, maybe it's your DDs parenting you're trying to defend, definitely very defensive.

Ah. The old "children shouldn't be seen or heard". Kids this obedient usually have a very stick-based upbringing which will backfire in its own way later. It's normal for an 8yo to be inquisitive and want something to do

It’s an epidemic. Several times a week when I’m doing grocery shopping in a mall I see young children in a pram with a phone glued to their face. I get the use of a device if you need them to be quiet (like in a doctors surgery) for a short period, but there is so much to see and talk about when out and about that should be interesting for young dc.

So many kids are starting nursery and school with poor language and communication skills which is a reflection of environmental factors- not biological. I work in many different schools and this is what is reported to me and observed by me.

Oh sweetie my children were born way before screens, as I’ve already said….. I’m a GM!

You’re clearly going to be one of “those MILS and interfering GMs”.

Good luck with that!

Your kids have very poor attention spans if they cannot sit still and do nothing for 20 minutes. They can think their own thoughts. Amuse themselves.

Very poor parenting. I would expect a 4 year old to do that.

You're clearly one of the parents being bashed on here so you're attacking anyone with a different opinion. Good luck to you and your kids.

That's what I said 🙄I'll quote it for you

"If I didn't agree with them I wouldn't be calling them controlling ffs and I certainly wouldn't be telling them to fuck off as a pp stated upthread, I'd just tell them I don't agree with them."

Have words, same thing.

Twenty mins to daydream, think about one of those kids questions like why is the sky blue, look at the pictures on the wall, vaguely listen to the conversation, have the manners, patience and maturity to just wait. Why is it unwise to teach anyone that their ideal preference isn't always going to be catered to and sometimes you do just have to sit...assemblies, memorials, a wedding, an awards ceremony. Loads of utterly dull things for most people that you just have to sometimes sit through. A pp said on another thread that people seem scared to just be in their own headspace now. I think that's true.

As for telling you to calm down, please do and read slowly! You may grasp what’s being said than instead of getting on your bloody high horse and talking nonsense!

and it’s not personally to women, I’d tell a man as well, If he was being equally as irrational.

I also have boys a bit older, typical "boys" in that group of friends if you want (they're not that interested by school or anything, more addicted to video game, phones and sport...)

and they STILL exchange book ideas and read A LOT. They do a lot of other things to, it's not true teenagers don't read. They read the same things I did at that age, not really classic, more Stephen King and other horror, but who cares? We survived, they will too.

I love it when one of mine often say: can you buy xyz, my friend said it was a good book.

I was never ever "bored" as a child, I had a book with me at all times and if there was any lull, however short, in things going on I would read/do puzzles etc. I had and still do have a horror of doing nothing. As a child I could never stand it for a moment (and I was useless and completely uninterested in things like "art and crafts"). How is that different to wanting to get out your phone and read or watch something? If being "bored" as a child was important then I must be missing something vital I suppose.

Exactly! Hopefully @redjeans28 may learn the difference between advice and control!

And stop accusing people of being “defensive”!

If an adult remove something from my hand or my children's hand against my own parenting, I would have words with them.

It's not advice, it's controlling. "I don't think you should.." is different, you just say "ok" and ignore.

It wasn’t offering advice, the PP dictated she would remove it!

FFS, can you not comprehend the difference!

Ive said repeatedly, offering advice is one thing, dictating and controlling is another.

Sone people just have no comprehension ability.

Completely agree lovely! It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. My child and I loved big, busy days out that relied on public transport and they’d sometimes need downtime during them. They got so much out of the play dates and classes but they were made so much more manageable for me by ten min phone breaks now and again. I think it’s because it’s only recently that screens and media have become portable so people are a bit suspicious of it!

Come back again when he's 12/13 and stops reading. It's an epidemic. I teach this age group, boys especially.

I don't think it's normal or wise to have an 8 yo sitting still doing absolutely NOTHING for 20mn, lazy parenting at best if the poor kid is so used to.

I don't spend 20mn on a sofa doing absolutely nothing! What's the point of that?

Normal parents would at least give the poor kid a book. You can have very well mannered children, polite and well behaved, expecting them to sit perfectly still, not move a muscle for 20mn is very very weird.

But in private is fine?

Stop telling women to 'calm down' when they don't agree with you.

I don't have adult children but if an older relative offered me advice I would at least hear them out. If I didn't agree with them I wouldn't be calling them controlling ffs and I certainly wouldn't be telling them to fuck off as a pp stated upthread, I'd just tell them I don't agree with them. Some people are just so defensive, it must cause real problems in life.

Obviously not literally 🙄
Then again, I was blessed with having a lovely mum who would have never dreamt of undermining any parenting decision I made. She might have offered advice but she wouldn’t go ‘above’ me and take a phone from my child, like the poster that I was reacting to said she would.
For what it’s worth, I can’t stand seeing young children with a screen shoved in front of them. Screens weren’t a thing when my children were little and so not an issue but I can’t fathom why people can’t talk to their children, or take some paper and colouring pencils to a restaurant.
So I agree with you that it’s sad to see.

Eurgh

I’ve not used a screen in public before but I do agree with this! I don’t think it applies in the case of this dad but I know someone who never goes ANYWHERE with their child and has the TV on in the background all day (and I mean all day) but is horrifically judgy about children having screens in prams. Surely a day filled with interaction and experience followed by 15 mins of screens on the bus home is better than zero interaction at home?