I've just seen the most depressing thing

But I thought in the good olden days kids were just meant to be silent and not interrupt adults?

Who said kids were meant to be silent? I was born in the 70's and was never brought up to be silent. We were taught not to be rude, not silent. I also taught my kids not to interrupt adults 10 years ago when they were young. My younger family members are also teaching their children now not to interrupt adults. I thought it was the norm, it used to be anyway.

It isn't parenting. It's absenting.

We are all fucked TBH, raising generations that have no concentration and shit personal and neurological development. Hope there's enough of us left to pay tax for everyone else.

I expect she probably means out and about as her post said out

It does matter though. Children need to learn to be bored, to entertain themselves. They need to learn how to sit, listen and talk to others or take in their surroundings. We are teaching children that they can’t simply be without having a screen in front of them.

As you say, limited screen time is fine. Your statement that the location doesn’t matter, I disagree. It very much matters.

You’d make an excellent police witness. You missed nothing!
(How did you avoid spilling your coffee all down your front, as you stared fixedly at this other table?)

But I thought in the good olden days kids were just meant to be silent and not interrupt adults?

So is it ok to give them cartoons at home? We don't have tv, so all our screen time is on iPad or laptops etc. Is that OK? Is cinema ok? That's just a big screen but it does include an outing to get there. Our local pub has a kids screening (i haven't been but persumably so that adults can talk longer and kids don't run amok). Not sure if that's ok. My dc also enjoys playing NYT spelling bee on my phone but that's educational i guess (or maybe performative?) Or is it just exclusively portable screens in cafes or supermarkets?

As far as I see, it's not ideal in cafes but as long as the screen time is limited to a reasonable daily amount, the method or location of delivery doesn't matter.

It’s utterly pathetic to be honest. You can sit and converse with your child for 30 minutes. Model good behaviour, show them how to behave. No wonder we are seeing increasingly poor concentration, conversational skills and behaviour in general.

You don't know if any particular man spends less time with the children than the mother of them does! Daft, presumptuous comment! FFS! 🙄

’Oracy’ (😳) even needing to be a school subject confirms me in my belief that it’s far too late for me ever to catch up and think along 21st century lines.

the amount of mothers that drag children into coffee shops cafes etc and hand them a tablet n ignore them is shocking also

Probably because the men spend so much less time with the children! It's much easier to be engaged and chatting on one outing a week instead of every day. So often women desperately need a break from the monotony.

Yep this. ^ How rude and smug some people are. Who gives a shit if someone is handing a screen to a small child whilst they have some time to themselves?!

Many years ago, (pre 1980s) many parents had 'a village,' and sisters, cousins, mother, mother-in-law, uncles, grandparents etc, within striking distance to help look after the children, and many more women were stay-at-home mums...

Now many communities are fractured, or tiny, or just non existent, as many women now have to work. And very few people live close to family - indeed many are miles away, and getting childcare from family is untenable because of the distance.

Many parents - mums especially - rarely get a break. So sometimes, popping a screen in front of your DC, or letting them watch TV for an hour or two, is a way to keep them occupied whilst you have a break.

How fucking judgy and smug some people are, clutching their pearls, and gasping in shock, at other people letting their child have a 'screen' to keep them occupied.

FFS, give your head a wobble!

I can't even imagine my adult DC giving their small child an ipad to watch something, and me snatching it off their child. Who the fuck does that?! 😂 I don't know who some people think they are.

'FGS do better!' and 'the most depressing thing to see!' ??? Get over yourself @Havesomecommonsense !!! Who on earth do you think you are?!

!

This is pretty unfair. Of course we don't want any child to be ignored or parenting being placed by a phone, but we have no idea what is going on in that parent's life.

When I became a single parent, I was desperately trying to manage to find a place to live so we wouldn't be homeless, sort out a job and arrange childcare. Sometimes distracting my kid was essential to achieve these things which could only be done on the Internet. And yeah, sometimes I felt a bit overwhelmed and just needed some time to to myself. I'm sure people judged me, but it was either distract my kid for a bit or drown in the stuff I had to do.

Let's try and be kinder. People have all sorts of problems we don't know about.

You made a thread purely to slag off another parent (one you don’t know and have no knowledge of other than the 30 minutes you spent watching and judging them).

Not possible to mind your own business?
Nothing to occupy yourself with?

Sad......

This used to happen all the time. I remember going visiting with my mum back in the day. I'd be told not to touch anything, not to ask for anything and to 'behave'. I would always be offered biscuits and drinks which I gladly accepted. I would sit and just listen to the adults talking, not one bit bored and then we'd be on our way. It would have been for longer than 20 mins too. I don't see the problem.

As equally ridiculous a post as the original.

Sounds like my ex with our son (5).
He came home from a weekend with his Dad yesterday. I asked what fun things he’s done with Daddy - answer was PlayStation, watching YouTube and TV 😡
It’s been a glorious weekend weather wise, he couldn’t even take him out to the park!
Daddy sees him EOW, you’d think he would want to spend quality time with his son 🤷‍♀️

How convenient that a parent made a specific comment regarding his contact time and co-parent status at that exact moment, within earshot of a rabid Mumsnetter ready to pounce......and a MAN to boot! - how very dare he demonstrate anything less than 100% perfect parenting every second of the day like you all do no doubt 🙄

20 mins in the life of an 8 year old is not a stark example. A few times in that period one of us would say something to him, he was offered a drink but the point t is he was capable of dealing with a very short period of unstimulated inactivity. He wasnt bound and gagged. You moved from that to saying I was describing Victorian values of seen and not heard.

If you read my other posts you will see I’m in full agreement that phones shouldn’t be used in the first instance. My children can all sit quietly in a restaurant without a screen/device because they’ve learned how to do so. This morning just made me consider examples where people judge but don’t know the full context.

How do you think parents used to manage that situation before smart phones/tablets were around?