I've just seen the most depressing thing

don't be such a snark - I spy is brilliant for kids - there's so much inverse snobbery and unpleasantness on here and in the world for intelligence - the rejection of expert opinion in favour of random Joe Public's thoughts on the issues of the day being my pet peeve. Not every second has to be educational and worthy, of course not, but that's the point - with young kids. they don't even know that the game is teaching them, reinforcing colours, numbers, letters.

yep, i'm with you on this OP

Did you go over and help the child if she was choking, did you bring it to his attention?

100% this. ^

@missrabbit1990

It’s just pathetic and lazy. My child aged two is allowed to watch limited TV at home but a coffee shop is an opportunity for interaction, chat, vocab building, playing I spy etc. You're too lazy for that? Don’t have kids then.

What's the weather like up there on the top of that high horse? 🐴

And I spy?!?!! 😂 You play I spy? OMFG! 😂 Maybe you should broaden your horizons a bit. I Spy is the most naff and boring game in the universe.

What 'limited TV' do you allow your child?' Open University? Panorama? University Challenge? Mastermind? Do tell. I'm all ears. We all need advice from such an expert parent. 😎

Even if they'd only seen a few seconds, they would still judge. Judgypants gonna judge.

to be fair she didn't challenge the man - I always do find it odd on these threads that everyone has countless of examples on when it was a dire emergency and they HAD to look at their phone and we all must assume that anyone on their phone with kids around must be having a crisis - in any one situation no we don't know that but as a general principle it is absolutely true that there is too much of it to be good for anyone.

Mothers do this ALL the time, always seeing them pushing buggies with a hot drink in one hand and phone tucked under the chin, completely ignoring their child/ren. ALL the time. It's not just dads

That's not always possible and the world should not revolve around children ALL of the time. If you are seriously saying we should bring up kids to become adults who cannot cope with sitting through a meeting or formal occasion where they may not play an active part but their presence is required once in a while then the world is doomed. Everyone needs to learn that not everything is about them but suck it up. Or can I just piss off from my INSET sessions next week which will be endless being talked at?

I mean I don't think op has kids, which is why it's easy to judge - otherwise she could tell the distinction between coughing up some food (red-faced, normal with small kids learning to manage their own intake especially if she was having something yummy amd stuffed a bit too much in- and blue-faced, choking, which is a medical emergency and which doesn't happen in sequences)

I also don't quite get how anyone can tell someone is on insta unless you are peering above them/right next to them. They way screens are designed I can't tell without leaning in what my dh is looking at on a tube seat next to me. Anyhow, yeah, it's not great screen time regardless but there's no way we know what else was happening and how long the dad had the girl for.

Edited typos

Because choking’s an emergency - she would have died if she was choking and every adult around her was ignoring her.

i think you mean she coughed on some food in the way that young children often do as part of learning to eat. Unless you’re telling us you sat and posted on Mumsnet as you watched a child choke instead of calling attention to the emergency and performing first aid?

Goady.

So she wasn’t cooking but coughing on food which is normal for babies and young children? If she was genuinely choking why did nobody around her step in to help?

But surely you see there’s times when this might be necessary… example from me recently… using my maps to find my way to the eye hospital after getting a bus and a train with my tiny baby. I’ve just found out he is blind due to a rare genetic condition. I wasn’t being lazy or anti social and it’s really pathetic to think someone might see that and think I’m depriving my baby when I’m going through the worst time of my life. Sure 99% of the time it’s probably nothing that serious but that 1% of the time is when you should mind your own business

Because your entire thread comes off as very goady and clearly the child wasn’t actually choking?

So you agree with me then? Although you've went a strange way about it.

You don’t interrupt in a rude way when an adult is mid sentence

The rest of your post is patronising nonsense.

Again I am astonished at how many people are defending this behaviour as ok and normal.
If the father of your child only spent 1 hour a week with them and half of that was spent with them staring gormless at inappropriate content on a phone whilst he ignored them, you’d be ok with that??
A full time parent, allowing their child half an hour screen time whilst they recharge and have some time to decompress is not the same thing.
Excess screen time is detrimental to small children’s language and relationships. That’s just fact.

What, of your daughter's own child?! Really??

As an ex teacher I would rather you bring your child up by involving him in conversations. You don’t interrupt in a rude way when an adult is mid sentence but during a discussion, they should be free to join in. If what you have to say isn’t suitable then save the discussion for another time. I agree with PP sitting there for twenty mins while the adults talk sounds very old fashioned.

"and not interrupt adults"??? Of course they shouldn't be interrupting adults. Bloody hell, this is basic parenting/manners. So they start school never being told to not interrupt and they start interrupting teacher etc. Yeah brilliant parenting.

So much misplaced confidence. 🤷

Yeah it’s so depressing. Always found it sad walking my daughter and I’d be pointing out different objects and extending her vocab etc and then you walk past others with a kid watching a phone. Just sad.