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Original poster

I've just seen the most depressing thing

512 replies

Havesomecommonsense · 26/08/2025 10:48

In a coffee shop, in comes a Dad and his daughter (roughly 3 years old)
He made a comment to the daughter about this being a weekly visit before he dropped her back to the mum
He then sat her on his lap, gave her a phone and she watched instagram videos and he watched his own phone holding it over her head..
He gave her some food, which she kept choking on intermittently. He barely said 2 words to her
Yes I'm judging, but fgs do better

OP posts:
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HeyThereDelila · 02/09/2025 17:24

YANBU. It’s crap and lazy parenting. All the more so if you only see your child on a weekly basis.

Bumdrops · 02/09/2025 15:57

screens, especially social media = poor mental health, poor social functioning, lower IQ in kids -
great interview with Haidt -

RhaenysRocks · 01/09/2025 10:37

It absolutely is. My own teens struggle despite my best efforts and I'll sit doomscrolling with a book next to me. I think with the additional "shortcut" of AI it's only going to get harder.

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 01/09/2025 07:55

One of the biggest things I think that has affected children re screens is the attention span.
Schools/teachers have seen a real reduction in the ability for children to be able to concentrate or stick to one task for extended time. I notice it in myself if I'm on social media too much, I struggle to watch a film without reaching for my phone. So it must be very damaging for a developing brain

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 01/09/2025 07:42

RhaenysRocks · 01/09/2025 07:30

Yes i know, I was one of them. would you like to join in that important conversation or just keep sniping at the OP? Or you know, leave the thread.

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No and as pointed out to you a few minutes ago that conversation trail came to an end yesterday. I'll leave a thread once I lose interest but as it stands on this one I'm replying to you! But please do carry on discussing the topic.

RhaenysRocks · 01/09/2025 07:30

Anchorage56 · 01/09/2025 07:23

The discussion is ongoing there are plenty of people posting. Just recently there were a couple of posts regarding neuro diverse children and the use of technology sometimes being necessary.

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Yes i know, I was one of them. would you like to join in that important conversation or just keep sniping at the OP? Or you know, leave the thread.

Petitchat · 01/09/2025 07:25

Anchorage56 · 01/09/2025 06:49

Nothing anymore its ended. You will have seen that so not sure what your trying to acheive now.

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Ok, bye.....

Anchorage56 · 01/09/2025 07:23

RhaenysRocks · 01/09/2025 07:16

I was trying to steer the discussion back to the wider issue and away from the OPs scenario. If anyone wants to continue that discussion, that's great. I'm not interested in a personal back and forth or casting doubt on the OP .

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The discussion is ongoing there are plenty of people posting. Just recently there were a couple of posts regarding neuro diverse children and the use of technology sometimes being necessary.

RhaenysRocks · 01/09/2025 07:16

Anchorage56 · 01/09/2025 06:45

Personally I dont think she is a genuine poster, that's how it started. In case you hadnt noticed our conversations came to an end yesterday and now you are trying to start something up now!

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I was trying to steer the discussion back to the wider issue and away from the OPs scenario. If anyone wants to continue that discussion, that's great. I'm not interested in a personal back and forth or casting doubt on the OP .

Anchorage56 · 01/09/2025 06:49

Petitchat · 31/08/2025 23:18

But what is it you actually wish to discuss?
I don't understand......

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Nothing anymore its ended. You will have seen that so not sure what your trying to acheive now.

Anchorage56 · 01/09/2025 06:45

RhaenysRocks · 31/08/2025 22:39

Nah..you've been baiting her, trying to undermine her argument and pull irrelevant personal info from her . She's maintained her position and account from P1. It's totally irrelevant actually if her particular anecdote is true or not. It serves to illustrate and catalyse an important discussion, which you seem to want to derail for your own amusement.

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Personally I dont think she is a genuine poster, that's how it started. In case you hadnt noticed our conversations came to an end yesterday and now you are trying to start something up now!

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 01/09/2025 05:39

Me neither. I think the conversation is a useful one to have. I have noticed that MN has been more full of the people who come on threads to attack posters or pick apart their posts to try and quiet them down/derail the thread. Unsure why.

OP posts:
Petitchat · 31/08/2025 23:18

Anchorage56 · 31/08/2025 22:16

We have been back and forth over several pages. Takes two to tango. I do reply and so does she hence the ongoing.

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But what is it you actually wish to discuss?
I don't understand......

RhaenysRocks · 31/08/2025 22:39

Anchorage56 · 31/08/2025 22:16

We have been back and forth over several pages. Takes two to tango. I do reply and so does she hence the ongoing.

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Nah..you've been baiting her, trying to undermine her argument and pull irrelevant personal info from her . She's maintained her position and account from P1. It's totally irrelevant actually if her particular anecdote is true or not. It serves to illustrate and catalyse an important discussion, which you seem to want to derail for your own amusement.

Anchorage56 · 31/08/2025 22:16

RhaenysRocks · 31/08/2025 19:14

I'm really not sure why you're trying to be so unpleasant to the OP. She's been measured and polite and tried to keep the discussion focused. You're just trying to pick a fight or entertain yourself or something...not quite sure what purpose it serves.

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We have been back and forth over several pages. Takes two to tango. I do reply and so does she hence the ongoing.

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 31/08/2025 20:14

Yeah I also get the ND thing but I think screen use in NT kids is up significantly and a worry

OP posts:
RhaenysRocks · 31/08/2025 20:12

@Wedonttalkaboutboris it's ok, I do get it. My DS is also AuADHD . He's actually ok at restaurants but at family gatherings he can only do so long then he gets to and sit in a corner with a phone or similar..much to the disapproval of various relatives who don't get it.

Wedonttalkaboutboris · 31/08/2025 19:48

Jesslovesengineering · 31/08/2025 18:22

Let me preface this by saying I absolutely think no child under the age of 10, minimum, has any business having access to a mobile phone, much less Instagram.

That said, I'm not trashing all devices. Ever pause to consider that at least some of these kids have autism and / or ADHD, like mine does? In our case, being out IS NOT the entertainment. Being out is really hard because he has serious eating issues. Eating out is something I occasionally need for a little respite from raising him alone with no help from anyone. One set of grandparents dead, the other too busy living their best retirement life and focusing on his neurotypical cousin. Eating out is also something that friends and family assume we can easily do and my choice is to go and try to not let him spoil it for everyone or let the stimulus spoil it for him or not go and be even more isolated. He's not AuDHD because he uses a device. He was already on the pathway to diagnosis before his grandparents bought him a tablet (which was actually a godsend). I've known there was something since he was a few weeks old.

A device is the only way I can reduce overwhelming stimulus when out and about, distract him enough to get him to eat or stop his manic behaviour drawing stares and tuts from judgy people like you. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

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I completely agree and I should have prefaced what I wrote as only applying to neurotypical children. I have in-depth experience and knowledge of neurodiverse children so I understand. My nephew is AuDHD and we’ve had full on criticism from other diners thrown at us before, so I know what that feels like.

However I know people who definitely have completely neurotypical kids, who will shove them on devices when they’re out for a meal. I do judge them.

RhaenysRocks · 31/08/2025 19:14

Anchorage56 · 31/08/2025 18:46

Honestly what a belter 😆

I'm really not sure why you're trying to be so unpleasant to the OP. She's been measured and polite and tried to keep the discussion focused. You're just trying to pick a fight or entertain yourself or something...not quite sure what purpose it serves.

RhaenysRocks · 31/08/2025 19:12

Jesslovesengineering · 31/08/2025 18:22

Let me preface this by saying I absolutely think no child under the age of 10, minimum, has any business having access to a mobile phone, much less Instagram.

That said, I'm not trashing all devices. Ever pause to consider that at least some of these kids have autism and / or ADHD, like mine does? In our case, being out IS NOT the entertainment. Being out is really hard because he has serious eating issues. Eating out is something I occasionally need for a little respite from raising him alone with no help from anyone. One set of grandparents dead, the other too busy living their best retirement life and focusing on his neurotypical cousin. Eating out is also something that friends and family assume we can easily do and my choice is to go and try to not let him spoil it for everyone or let the stimulus spoil it for him or not go and be even more isolated. He's not AuDHD because he uses a device. He was already on the pathway to diagnosis before his grandparents bought him a tablet (which was actually a godsend). I've known there was something since he was a few weeks old.

A device is the only way I can reduce overwhelming stimulus when out and about, distract him enough to get him to eat or stop his manic behaviour drawing stares and tuts from judgy people like you. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

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I think (or would hope by now) that most people do understand that in any given individual case that may be true. But really, I think we've moved away from a discussion of this particular instance to a more general discussion. Outwith SEN, "snapshot" and emergency emails situations, can we at least agree that overuse of screens for NT young kids, plus parents being disengaged and unavailable due to their ever present and addictive nature is absolutely on the rise and leading to increasingly difficult behaviour when screens are not allowed..eg school, a formal service or setting.

Teachers like me are finding it harder to get children of all ages to engage in anything longer than a five minute clip or a couple of written sentences. Sustained focus and attention even for A level students is getting worse. Whilst obviously mindful of exceptional circumstances and need, unless we actually start being upfront about this and not leaping to "what about x" every time this gets discussed as a defense mechanism, we are sleepwalking a generation into massive problems...but hey it's ok, they can just use AI to do the reading for them, hand in an essay they've neither written nor read then wonder why their GCSEs are a disaster.

Anchorage56 · 31/08/2025 18:46

Honestly what a belter 😆

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 31/08/2025 18:34

Anchorage56 · 31/08/2025 18:33

You really do crack me up. But seriously are you going to stake out that cafe each week to see if they return or see who else you can spy on and watch THERE every move??

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Lol what you on about now

their

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 31/08/2025 18:33

Havesomecommonsense · 31/08/2025 18:29

you're

Show quote history

You really do crack me up. But seriously are you going to stake out that cafe each week to see if they return or see who else you can spy on and watch THERE every move??

Original poster
Havesomecommonsense · 31/08/2025 18:29

This reply has been deleted

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you're

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