Page 3 | Territorial dispute in swimming pool

tamade · 2025-08-26T05:54:04+00:00

I am lucky enough to have a proper lunch break and at least three times a week I go to a nearby hotel and swim a mile, sometimes 2km. Today I was alone in the pool and started swimming in lane two (of four) which is one lane away from the side closest to the changing rooms entrance. About 30 min later a man got in and stated to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane. I caught up with him at the far end and when he turned he looked at me swimming toward him and seemed surprised (surprised I hadn't moved lanes?). He then kicked off the wall and swam beneath me and under the lane divider into lane three. Not long after I finished up and went to get changed. Before exiting I looked back and sure enough he had moved back into lane two, which I presume is "his". And based on that I believe that he was trying to claim lane 2 when he initially moved in. He is another regular I have seen him coming as I am going although we don't usually use the pool at the same time. I think this is knobish behaviour

GleisZwei · 28/08/2025 06:26

ImGoingUpstairsToTakeOffMyHat · 27/08/2025 21:16

This is why I only go to women’s only sessions.

Men are so rude when it comes to their space and swimming is especially bad. Why the fuck do they swim underneath women?! I good swift “accidental” kick never hurt anyone when that happens

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See now, while there undoubtedly are rude people of both sexes, the most irritating/annoying/rude swimmers I have met at our local pool have pretty much been a majority of females.
The three wide breaststrokers, the 'I can't see you so you have to move or I'll claw you' backstrockers, the 'I'm racing you whether you like it or not' types, the 'it's my lane, I own this lane, dirty look' types, the 'we just have to chat' types, and so on. Slightly tongue in cheek clearly, but I'm just there to swim, not be injured, not to race, not to gossip for ages etc.

thebabayaga · 28/08/2025 03:32

Nobody ever behaves like that unless they are trying to be a dick. I have been smashed into by men swimming in the same lane as me, he should have stayed the fuck away as there was plenty of room, don't know what planet some women are on they will just roll over for any wanky man no matter how rude and try to find excuses for him.

Onceisenoughta · 28/08/2025 03:29

It happens all the time and it's annoying, they can clearly see you and where you're swimming but they think they have the right to barge in so you'll move - nope! I regularly face people out if I was in the pool first & they try to bully me out of the way - even the attendants know what they do but they do nothing about it. I respect the people who are already swimming and fit round them, then when they get out I'll move to their spot. Some people have no manners so they need to be taught.

PoppyTries · 28/08/2025 02:32

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/08/2025 09:01

Yes, OK, it's his preferred lane. So what?

Let's work through it logically. There are four lanes only lane 2 is occupied.

So if he chooses lane 2, it means one of two things. Either he wants to swim in lane 2 because it is his preferred lane, or he wants to swim in lane 2 because it is the lane the OP (a lone female stranger) is swimming in.

When he gets in, the OP has no way of knowing which of the above two reasons is his reason for choosing lane 2. If it is because he simply prefers lane 2, this is annoying because he has chosen to get in her way when the rest of the pool is empty. If it is because she is there, she is potentially in danger from this random man. Either way, it's not good for her.

If it turns out that he does not represent any danger to the OP but simply prefers lane 2 (and once again, she has no way of knowing this), there are three possible outcomes.

She moves over and he gets what he wants.
She doesn't move over and he gets the message and moves over.
Neither of them moves over and they continue swimming in the same lane.

The fact that he chose lane 2 and subsequently moved over when she did not suggests that he chose lane 2 because it was his preferred lane, but he also wanted a lane to himself. His first preference was to swim in his preferred lane and for the OP to move, (i.e. his intention was to try to make her move out of the lane he wanted to swim in), but his second preference was to swim in a different lane and have it all to himself. When the OP did not move, he switched to his second preference.

Why does this matter?

Because his actions show that he consciously chose to make a woman (and, as a reminder, the OP was a lone female stranger) feel uncomfortable so that he could get what he wanted.

That's why it's arsehole behaviour.

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This deserves to be repeated. Excellent analysis.

GlomOfNit · 28/08/2025 01:09

This is why I tend to swim at my local, pretty scuzzy, council-run pool - it's small, incredibly basic and very much not sexy. I rarely come across aggressive, selfish male swimmers there just other middle-aged women unlike the snazzier leisure centre pools in the area.

But for preference, I'll book into a women-only session and thank god they still run those. Arrogant, bullying men in swimming pools seem to be a universal thing.

eastegg · 27/08/2025 23:43

purpleme12 · 27/08/2025 23:36

They let children go in lane swimming here

But sometimes I think I'm in a different world when I read about some of the swimming threads on here 😂

Here they can slip over into a lane if there’s lane swimming going on at the same time as a general swimming session and probably no one would stop them, but you can’t book lane swimming for a child. So if a session is lane swimming only, you can’t book it for a child.

eastegg · 27/08/2025 23:40

Elboob · 27/08/2025 21:36

@tamade never have I read such a pile of victim blaming 💩 on a thread!
Seriously, did mumsnet put flags out to invite the shallow end of the gene pool in today?
Lets pick from the list:
Its not 'your' lane (depite you being in it and the pool empty)
You should have moved lanes
It's totally normal to swim so close to a woman that you swim UNDER HER in an empty pool
You aren't swimming fast enough to be in an empty lane in an empty pool
You should get swimming lessons so you can swim faster (wtf ....? )
You can swim where you like in a public pool including UNDER A LONE WOMAN SWIMMING IN AN EMPTY POOL
You are wrong to feel intimidated (By a lone male swimming within 6 inches of you in AN EMPTY POOL)
Fucking hell.
Words really do fail me.

I feel better now someone else has summarised all the twattery on the thread, kind of cathartic. Thank you.

purpleme12 · 27/08/2025 23:36

They let children go in lane swimming here

But sometimes I think I'm in a different world when I read about some of the swimming threads on here 😂

eastegg · 27/08/2025 23:29

floormops · 26/08/2025 08:13

I used to take my DD to our local pool before school when she was training for national championships. She would do her 100 lengths in the fast lane while I did 20 - 30 in the slow lane.
The behaviour of men trying to pass/obstruct/annoy my DD in the fast lane was disgusting. So rude and childish. She was far and away the fastest swimmer in there, I had to get special permission to allow her to train at that time as she was under 18. (This was a battle in itself).
Honestly there is so much bad behaviour in swimming pools.
IME the life guards just stand around chatting.

Going off topic I know, but it’s annoying isn’t it how they don’t let kids lane swim. I and my two eldest were trying to do Swimathon one year, but that version of it where you do it any time at any pool. Discovered that kids can’t lane swim unless they are club swimmers. When I said they were triathlon club members that wasn’t good enough, it had to be a swimming club 🤦‍♀️.

OneSharpFinch · 27/08/2025 22:55

this is a bit bonkers, neither of you own the lane, he probably didn't notice you as he was focusing on his own workout.

Sadworld23 · 27/08/2025 22:52

tamade · 26/08/2025 07:41

There were only two people in the pool, before he came I was alone. The lanes are not graded.

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Power thing? Or was he making some sort of beeline for you?
Maybe not wearing his glasses and thought you were someone else.?
Who knows, but this is the sort of behaviour that can make us feel unsafe.

Gut feeling from me was likely a power thing.

Chumbawomble · 27/08/2025 22:45

PS I'm on the OP's side, by the way. Swimming underneath someone when there's a free lane is rude and unnecessary.

Chumbawomble · 27/08/2025 22:38

I used to be a pool lifeguard/duty manager and wouldn't put up with any entitled nonsense like this. It WAS mostly men who would throw their weight around but the occasional woman would be precious and rude. I would try to sort out the lanes so that everyone was happy but if anyone continued to be an arsehole I would get them out and suggest they went elsewhere.

outerspacepotato · 27/08/2025 22:34

BG2015 · 27/08/2025 20:38

What is it with the people who walk (one woman even does it sideways) half way down the lane, then start swimming 🤷‍♀️ - I just don't get it.

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The ones who hang on the ends of lap lanes gabbing away despite there being other areas for them and lap swimmers swimming and doing flip turns then gabbers getting upset they got kicked or splashed.

Why?

gingerninja · 27/08/2025 22:13

latetothefisting · 27/08/2025 21:14

banging my head against the wall.

If OP's lane (2) is his favourite lane, why did he spend 5 minutes swimming up and down in lane 1 before moving over?

Same with all these 'perhaps he didn't see her' suggestions. I used to have -9.25 eyesight before I got laser eye surgery. I couldn't see much - I wouldn't recognise my own mother if she was 5 feet away from me - but I could work out the difference between an empty pool and a pool with someone in it, and which lane they were in.

Again, they were swimming in their separate lanes for at least 5 minutes before he swapped over. They would have passed each other at a distance of inches several times. OP's existence, and the fact she was in the next lane from him, would not have come as a surprise to her.

Not to mention tough luck - favourite lane or not it is a complete dick move to jump in someone else's lane just because you like to go anticlockwise or whatever when the entire rest of the pool is empty. You know the other person doesn't want you in there, but your selfish preference for swimming in a different direction trumps their feelings. Just get a grip and swim the other way.

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Flippin heck, relax, you’ll pull something with this level of tension.

Elboob · 27/08/2025 21:36

@tamade never have I read such a pile of victim blaming 💩 on a thread!
Seriously, did mumsnet put flags out to invite the shallow end of the gene pool in today?
Lets pick from the list:
Its not 'your' lane (depite you being in it and the pool empty)
You should have moved lanes
It's totally normal to swim so close to a woman that you swim UNDER HER in an empty pool
You aren't swimming fast enough to be in an empty lane in an empty pool
You should get swimming lessons so you can swim faster (wtf ....? )
You can swim where you like in a public pool including UNDER A LONE WOMAN SWIMMING IN AN EMPTY POOL
You are wrong to feel intimidated (By a lone male swimming within 6 inches of you in AN EMPTY POOL)
Fucking hell.
Words really do fail me.

Emptyandsad · 27/08/2025 21:30

I am absolutely gobsmacked by the number of people that think that OP is in the wrong and rogue male swimmer is just dandy. I would be fizzing

Elboob · 27/08/2025 21:28

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 20:50

I can read, I read that she was swimming towards him not the other way round.

And 😂😂 at it being her lane, as if she has sole use of a lane in a public swimming pool. Turning people away as reception, sorry we're full we've got full occupation of four people 🥴

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Shall we go full pedantic then (or try to as you seem to have claimed that particular trophy).
She was already swimming in THAT lane (not her lane) a single lane in an empty pool. He decided to swim in the same lane as her rather than an empty one.
Weird
Creepy
Agressive
Intimidating
Not normal behaviour.
Swimming under her - massively aggressive.
Like someone crossing the street to deliberately walk behind you in the dark.
If you dont understand how this is not normal in an empty pool then you really need some socialising lessons.

ImGoingUpstairsToTakeOffMyHat · 27/08/2025 21:16

Billybagpuss · 26/08/2025 06:58

Always men. I was swimming up and down by a lane rope in a pool where they didn’t have full lanes set out just a mid way divider to separate kids play are from swimming area. A bloke watched me do probably around 20 lengths then got in and started swimming towards me on the same line, he literally did 2 lengths then stopped at the wall and man spread himself across my turning area. I’m cross with myself for not saying anything. Roll on winter when they go back to the indoor pool.

This is why I only go to women’s only sessions.

Men are so rude when it comes to their space and swimming is especially bad. Why the fuck do they swim underneath women?! I good swift “accidental” kick never hurt anyone when that happens

latetothefisting · 27/08/2025 21:14

gingerninja · 27/08/2025 19:38

Same, I have a favourite locker, shower and lane and so do other people I swim with, we often joke when other people ‘have the cheek’ to use ‘our’ spaces. OP my lane choice is driven by the direction you swim, I like to swim anticlockwise in the lane so will join a lane with another in it and leave another empty because it’s my preference to swim in that direction. Other people do the same. It may not have been the aggressive move you think.

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banging my head against the wall.

If OP's lane (2) is his favourite lane, why did he spend 5 minutes swimming up and down in lane 1 before moving over?

Same with all these 'perhaps he didn't see her' suggestions. I used to have -9.25 eyesight before I got laser eye surgery. I couldn't see much - I wouldn't recognise my own mother if she was 5 feet away from me - but I could work out the difference between an empty pool and a pool with someone in it, and which lane they were in.

Again, they were swimming in their separate lanes for at least 5 minutes before he swapped over. They would have passed each other at a distance of inches several times. OP's existence, and the fact she was in the next lane from him, would not have come as a surprise to her.

Not to mention tough luck - favourite lane or not it is a complete dick move to jump in someone else's lane just because you like to go anticlockwise or whatever when the entire rest of the pool is empty. You know the other person doesn't want you in there, but your selfish preference for swimming in a different direction trumps their feelings. Just get a grip and swim the other way.

Lmnop22 · 27/08/2025 21:07

But maybe he likes lane 2 and just didn’t spot you when he moved into it? Then when he did, he moved over.

No side eye, manspreading or sarcastic comment = no dispute

ThistleTits · 27/08/2025 21:03

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 07:37

There's a lot of assumptions here for a fairly innocuous... Well it's barely an incident never mind a dispute.

If anyone was being territorial I'd say it was probably you being in lane 2 of an empty pool, why not lane 1?

Ladders. Why didn't he stay in the lane he originally used?

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 20:50

Elboob · 27/08/2025 20:46

Can you actually read?
OP was in the lane and no-one else was in the pool! Of course it was "her" lane.
He could swim in any of four lanes but chose the one the lone woman was swimming in and swam straight at her.
Fucking hell.

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I can read, I read that she was swimming towards him not the other way round.

And 😂😂 at it being her lane, as if she has sole use of a lane in a public swimming pool. Turning people away as reception, sorry we're full we've got full occupation of four people 🥴

Elboob · 27/08/2025 20:46

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 07:43

But it wasn't 'her' lane. Like I say the only bringing up territory is the OP. Everything else is just assumptions.

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Can you actually read?
OP was in the lane and no-one else was in the pool! Of course it was "her" lane.
He could swim in any of four lanes but chose the one the lone woman was swimming in and swam straight at her.
Fucking hell.

BG2015 · 27/08/2025 20:38

Allywill · 27/08/2025 19:09

The worst thing about swimming is the other people. He wouldn’t even make my list to be honest which includes slow people in fast lane, fast ones in slow lane, people who “crawl” making the biggest splashes possible, back strokers in any lane, people who walk up and down swim lanes, people who swim two abreast gassing 😩there’s more but i’ll stop now.

What is it with the people who walk (one woman even does it sideways) half way down the lane, then start swimming 🤷‍♀️ - I just don't get it.