Page 2 | Territorial dispute in swimming pool

tamade · 2025-08-26T05:54:04+00:00

I am lucky enough to have a proper lunch break and at least three times a week I go to a nearby hotel and swim a mile, sometimes 2km. Today I was alone in the pool and started swimming in lane two (of four) which is one lane away from the side closest to the changing rooms entrance. About 30 min later a man got in and stated to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane. I caught up with him at the far end and when he turned he looked at me swimming toward him and seemed surprised (surprised I hadn't moved lanes?). He then kicked off the wall and swam beneath me and under the lane divider into lane three. Not long after I finished up and went to get changed. Before exiting I looked back and sure enough he had moved back into lane two, which I presume is "his". And based on that I believe that he was trying to claim lane 2 when he initially moved in. He is another regular I have seen him coming as I am going although we don't usually use the pool at the same time. I think this is knobish behaviour

outerspacepotato · 28/08/2025 18:28

"So frustrating watching people swim nana breastroke when their swimmers who want to actually swim and train as a swimmer and a coach."

Guess what. Unless it's your own private lap pool, it's for everyone. You have a terrible attitude towards people swimming as an exercise. I'm a fast breaststroker, it's faster than my freestyle. I narrow my kick if I'm sharing the lane.

You would hate my combo of breaststroke arms and butterfly kick.

Watch out if you're swimming with a bunch of older Russian nanas. They can breaststroke with their head out of the water all day long and if you get their hair wet, you will hear about it.

childofthe607080s · 28/08/2025 17:55

Breaststroke is in the Olympics - I think it is a proper stroke and whilst the same swimmer may go faster if they crawl there are some pretty slow crawlers and fast breaststroke people out there

pick a free lane

if congested get into the lane which is closest to your speed

stoke independent

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 28/08/2025 17:51

I'm not sure what people on this thread aren't getting 🙄

If you got into a pool where there was only one woman swimming in a lane, would you:

A. Get into an empty lane and stay in that lane?

B. Get into an empty lane then move into the lane currently being used by the only other swimmer and be so close to her you need to swim under her?

Hint: If your answer is anything other than A then you need to work on your personal space and social skills.

Jorge14 · 28/08/2025 17:07

Sounds like he expected you to move because he fancied lane 2 to himself, which was unreasonable of him. I wouldn’t spare it another thought.

YetYeti · 28/08/2025 16:18

HonestBlueEagle · 28/08/2025 07:24

I work at pools sounds like you shouldn't have been in that lane if your doing slow breastroke when someone is actually swimming properly. So frustrating watching people swim nana breastroke when their swimmers who want to actually swim and train as a swimmer and a coach.

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Nana breaststroke - how lovely. Without lingering too long on your embarrassingly blatant misogyny, could you share with us where you think the poster should have been swimming, in this scenario?

ConnieHeart · 28/08/2025 13:46

SpidersAreShitheads · 28/08/2025 12:50

I think this is actually a really shitty comment.

Not everyone can swim quickly and mocking someone for doing “nana breaststroke” is exactly the kind of thing that stops people from exercising, for fear of not being as good as others. Same goes for gyms.

Someone doing a slow breaststroke IS “swimming properly”. Certainly they shouldn’t be in the fast lane but if they want to swim up and down the slow lanes at a pace they can manage then good for them. In this example, the OP said there were no lane denominations re speed….and there were three other empty lanes.

Wanting to train as a pro swimmer/coach doesn’t mean you get to decide who’s worthy enough to use the pool.

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I agree and I think maybe HonestBlueEagle you should find a different job, with your judgy attitude. Some people are just coming back to fitness, some are just starting, fgs some might even have just learnt to swim! I even see some people walking up & down in the pool. Obviously that would probably only work if they're the only ones in the lane but they are perfectly entitled to do whatever they feel they want to do in the pool within reason. Not affecting anyone so maybe mind your own business

SpidersAreShitheads · 28/08/2025 12:50

HonestBlueEagle · 28/08/2025 07:24

I work at pools sounds like you shouldn't have been in that lane if your doing slow breastroke when someone is actually swimming properly. So frustrating watching people swim nana breastroke when their swimmers who want to actually swim and train as a swimmer and a coach.

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I think this is actually a really shitty comment.

Not everyone can swim quickly and mocking someone for doing “nana breaststroke” is exactly the kind of thing that stops people from exercising, for fear of not being as good as others. Same goes for gyms.

Someone doing a slow breaststroke IS “swimming properly”. Certainly they shouldn’t be in the fast lane but if they want to swim up and down the slow lanes at a pace they can manage then good for them. In this example, the OP said there were no lane denominations re speed….and there were three other empty lanes.

Wanting to train as a pro swimmer/coach doesn’t mean you get to decide who’s worthy enough to use the pool.

T1Dmama · 28/08/2025 11:26

Billybagpuss · 26/08/2025 06:58

Always men. I was swimming up and down by a lane rope in a pool where they didn’t have full lanes set out just a mid way divider to separate kids play are from swimming area. A bloke watched me do probably around 20 lengths then got in and started swimming towards me on the same line, he literally did 2 lengths then stopped at the wall and man spread himself across my turning area. I’m cross with myself for not saying anything. Roll on winter when they go back to the indoor pool.

Crikey ! I’d have pushed off right beside him then swam back along the line .. maybe splashing him ‘accidentally’ in the process!

GleisZwei · 28/08/2025 10:08

tamade · 28/08/2025 09:59

@GleisZwei I'm not saying you have a comprehension issue I expect you were too busy arguing with other posters to read that update. Or the later one where I explained the lanes are not particularly wide - probably not even a standard competition lane. They are always there never seen them removed

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I read all your updates.
No need for sarcy comments, itcwas a discussion.
I've also never seen a lane rope that cannot be removed, and I've been to a lot of pools!

Original poster

tamade · 28/08/2025 09:59

tamade · 26/08/2025 07:41

There were only two people in the pool, before he came I was alone. The lanes are not graded.

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@GleisZwei I'm not saying you have a comprehension issue I expect you were too busy arguing with other posters to read that update. Or the later one where I explained the lanes are not particularly wide - probably not even a standard competition lane. They are always there never seen them removed

OP posts:

Nogreyhairyet · 28/08/2025 09:58

pestowithwalnuts · 26/08/2025 06:56

So where's the dispute ?
He just swam in the same as you for a bit and then swapped to the one the he prepared after you left it

The dispute is that he went into her lane in the first place. She was in it first. Yet another male taking a woman's space!

latetothefisting · 28/08/2025 09:36

Elboob · 27/08/2025 21:36

@tamade never have I read such a pile of victim blaming 💩 on a thread!
Seriously, did mumsnet put flags out to invite the shallow end of the gene pool in today?
Lets pick from the list:
Its not 'your' lane (depite you being in it and the pool empty)
You should have moved lanes
It's totally normal to swim so close to a woman that you swim UNDER HER in an empty pool
You aren't swimming fast enough to be in an empty lane in an empty pool
You should get swimming lessons so you can swim faster (wtf ....? )
You can swim where you like in a public pool including UNDER A LONE WOMAN SWIMMING IN AN EMPTY POOL
You are wrong to feel intimidated (By a lone male swimming within 6 inches of you in AN EMPTY POOL)
Fucking hell.
Words really do fail me.

Good list

The only one you missed are the several posters suggesting that despite apparently having good enough eyesight to drive/walk to the pool, find the changing room, change and get in to the water, the man somehow "didn't notice" the only other person there...including when she was splashing around inches from him in the adjacent lane.

latetothefisting · 28/08/2025 09:31

gingerninja · 27/08/2025 22:13

Flippin heck, relax, you’ll pull something with this level of tension.

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Yet another example!
I posted this on another thread
Sudden influx of five year olds on here who can't come up with a reasoned comeback but have internalised that getting the last word in an argument equals winning so cone out with "calm down" "it's not that serious" "relax" etc.

Weird.

GleisZwei · 28/08/2025 09:23

tamade · 28/08/2025 09:06

May I ask you a comprehension question before you go: Was I in a lane swimming pool, or swimming pool with lanes?

Many of the convoluted and extravagant explanations for his behaviour hinge entirely on one of those options. And thank you for your good wishes, likewise.

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You're asking me what type of pool you were in?
IMHO any pool with (any) lane rope(s) in place is a pool set up for at least some lane swimming at that point in time. It may have other purposes at other points in time. No pool is solely a lane swimming pool, all pools have removable lanes, even ones which are mainly used for competition.

IsThistheMiddleofNowhere · 28/08/2025 09:19

I think you have a valid point. There were only two of you in the pool with four lanes so it would make sense to use a lane each.

Original poster

tamade · 28/08/2025 09:06

GleisZwei · 28/08/2025 08:58

Someone not sharing your view doesn't mean they are 'hard of understanding' @tamade.
With that final note I wish you well with your future swimming.

Edited

May I ask you a comprehension question before you go: Was I in a lane swimming pool, or swimming pool with lanes?

Many of the convoluted and extravagant explanations for his behaviour hinge entirely on one of those options. And thank you for your good wishes, likewise.

OP posts:

GleisZwei · 28/08/2025 08:58

Someone not sharing your view doesn't mean they are 'hard of understanding' @tamade.
With that final note I wish you well with your future swimming.

Original poster

tamade · 28/08/2025 08:46

Thank you to all of those who shared their opinions and experiences I have read most of them. Particularly thanks to @MissScarletInTheBallroom whose explanation of the logic of the process explains exactly why I found the situation weird and a bit uncomfortable. And thanks to the hard of understanding and projectors who think I am making a massive drama about something - I started a thread on a chat forum, my OP is not hysterical, I am fine, I even went back the next day. I don't think the situation was ever in danger of escalating, or deserving of much more than an eye roll and a tut and a moan on AIBU. There are others who have posted about worse issues on this thread.

OP posts:

ShizIsWicked · 28/08/2025 07:27

What actually happened? Nothing?

Osirus · 28/08/2025 07:26

tamade · 26/08/2025 07:46

it's the moving back into lane 2 as soon as I got out though, I get not wanting to swim next to a wall or ladders but lane 3 is also open on both sides so why not continue there after I got out? my conclusion is that he lane 2 is his fave and he made a passive aggressive play for it right from the off.

I could be wrong but I like to work out how peoples minds work

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He’s done nothing wrong. He got back in the lane after you got out. Is there a required waiting time for your essence to leave the pool before he can move into the now empty lane?

You will NEVER know how other minds work; you’ll drive yourself mad trying to!

HonestBlueEagle · 28/08/2025 07:24

Hiddendisability12 · 26/08/2025 07:34

In our lanes in the pool you have to swim anti clockwise which I was doing prior to a man getting in the pool. I take a slow breast stroke and wait at one end for someone to pass if they are faster then me. This cretin gets in and starts swimming wih a powerful front crawl directly at me. I let it go a couple of times then thought no fuck this I'm tired of men thinking they take up all the room so I stood my ground and ploughed straight into me and shouted at him to watch where he was going he got out of the pool stupid dickheads.

I work at pools sounds like you shouldn't have been in that lane if your doing slow breastroke when someone is actually swimming properly. So frustrating watching people swim nana breastroke when their swimmers who want to actually swim and train as a swimmer and a coach.

Osirus · 28/08/2025 07:19

tamade · 26/08/2025 06:58

I think he expected me to relinquish it to him

There’s no dispute. You’re just making assumptions based quite possibly on ingrained beliefs about men and their behaviour.

GleisZwei · 28/08/2025 07:15

Kurkara · 28/08/2025 06:59

Bit tangential to OP, but I used to swim long distances as a kid. I tried getting back into it in my 20s but I couldn't pick up on all the unwritten rules. "Lane ettiquette" as PP said.
I never would have twigged that passing people by swimming under them was considered an act of aggression.

I do weight training at a gym now, and love it.

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Enjoy the weightlifting. 👍

Kurkara · 28/08/2025 06:59

GleisZwei · 26/08/2025 09:50

Again, ex-club and seasoned lane swimmers swim under people ALL the time.

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Bit tangential to OP, but I used to swim long distances as a kid. I tried getting back into it in my 20s but I couldn't pick up on all the unwritten rules. "Lane ettiquette" as PP said.
I never would have twigged that passing people by swimming under them was considered an act of aggression.

I do weight training at a gym now, and love it.

itsgettingweird · 28/08/2025 06:59

Elboob · 27/08/2025 20:46

Can you actually read?
OP was in the lane and no-one else was in the pool! Of course it was "her" lane.
He could swim in any of four lanes but chose the one the lone woman was swimming in and swam straight at her.
Fucking hell.

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No he didn’t.

She was swimming right at him.

The OP even says so.

So he ducked under and went into another lane.

No wonder half the population can’t cope with others around - their understanding is hindered at best.