Territorial dispute in swimming pool

Yes, OK, it's his preferred lane. So what?

Let's work through it logically. There are four lanes only lane 2 is occupied.

So if he chooses lane 2, it means one of two things. Either he wants to swim in lane 2 because it is his preferred lane, or he wants to swim in lane 2 because it is the lane the OP (a lone female stranger) is swimming in.

When he gets in, the OP has no way of knowing which of the above two reasons is his reason for choosing lane 2. If it is because he simply prefers lane 2, this is annoying because he has chosen to get in her way when the rest of the pool is empty. If it is because she is there, she is potentially in danger from this random man. Either way, it's not good for her.

If it turns out that he does not represent any danger to the OP but simply prefers lane 2 (and once again, she has no way of knowing this), there are three possible outcomes.

1. She moves over and he gets what he wants.
2. She doesn't move over and he gets the message and moves over.
3. Neither of them moves over and they continue swimming in the same lane.

The fact that he chose lane 2 and subsequently moved over when she did not suggests that he chose lane 2 because it was his preferred lane, but he also wanted a lane to himself. His first preference was to swim in his preferred lane and for the OP to move, (i.e. his intention was to try to make her move out of the lane he wanted to swim in), but his second preference was to swim in a different lane and have it all to himself. When the OP did not move, he switched to his second preference.

Why does this matter?

Because his actions show that he consciously chose to make a woman (and, as a reminder, the OP was a lone female stranger) feel uncomfortable so that he could get what he wanted.

That's why it's arsehole behaviour.

Woman is swimming. Man enters, swims in one lane, moves into the lane occupied by woman, realises she’s catching up in speed, swims under her to move into a third lane, then moves back once she has vacated the pool. He was being weird, in the same way sitting right next to someone on a train or a bus when there are other options available is weird.

If he’d gone from lane 1 to lane 3 and then moved to lane 2 after OP had left I’d have said it was just a quirk and he liked the lane, but swimming in the same lane as someone when there are three empty ones around you is just bizarre, regardless of whether it’s all a public space or not. There’s just no need.

I know, right! Some of the comments on here have really put me off going for a swim as exercise. Who knew it was such a hot bed of passive aggression! 😂

What are you reporting exactly? 🫣

Exactly, partly why I don't bother with pool swimming these days.
If I'm completely honest, just as many female swimmers have behaved like twats in our pool. The territorial aspect is funny at times, but also draining when it's regular.

I agree OP.

If there was only the OP already swimming in Lane 2 alone and he didn’t want to swim in the outside lane, he could have gone straight over to the 3rd lane from the off.

The fact he waited until the OP was next to him before swimming underneath her, shows he was being passive aggressive towards her because she didn’t automatically change lanes for him.

I’d report his behaviour to a manager.

Why are the swimmers on here so batshit? So many threads where they're outraged that strangers aren't following the rules they've made up in their heads about who should be where.

It's not her lane.
Others swimming there too isn't 'giving it up', it's sharing a shared facility.
Would I have got in beside OP? Nope, because I cannot be bothered with territorial swimmers.
Can someone else, if they want to?
Sure, because it's a shared facility.

The rules are just common sense though.

pick the lane most suited for your speed

let faster swimmers go ahead at the end of the lane

if there are 3 empty lanes, don’t choose the one lane with a person in it then behave like a PA twit by swimming under them.

He can think what he likes. Just don’t give up your lane until you’ve finished.

Some people are just jerks and like to see what they can get away with.

Carry on. Ignore him. And amazing swimming!

No, it isn't.
A trolley is for the shopping of one person/group at a time.
A lane is for several swimmers at a time.
It wasn't her lane, it was one lane she was in.

Man swam underneath you so not to upset your swimming and then chose another lane while you were swimming. He problem solved for himself and caused you no harm.

He couldnt have waited the 1.345 seconds it would have taken the OP to swim past him? His time was so precious he had to swim underneath her??

Purposely aggressive and making a point

I find the arrogant men and splashy kids very straightforward to be around because they aren’t judgemental about other people. It is the uptight pool police that create a rather stressful atmosphere. I just want to go a swim in whatever lane seems about right for my speed without having to worry that I might be annoying someone with a list of unwritten rules in their head.

Our club didn't generally book extra sessions outside training times either - they trained in the club training sessions, even the ones doing national and international events.
A club swimmer being in the normal lane swimming will inconvenience others, they're probably just too polite to say anything. The fact that you needed 'special permission' should be a clue that you're already trying to change the parameters of the session.

But she was using the lane already. Its just being civil not to use the same lane at the same time when there is no need. It's like saying there are loads of trolleys at the supermarket but I want you to empty yours out so I can use it because it's not your trolley. She doesn't own the trolly after all

I find pool etiquette fascinating. There are a couple of men in ours who choose to swim up and down the middle of the slow lane, overtaking everyone, rather than move into the (usually less busy) middle lane.

It's not 'her' lane.
It's 'a' lane, in a public session in a public pool.

She had a club, but not one with enough money to book extra training sessions outside club times.
It was just 2 mornings, at 07.00hrs to quietly do her lengths then leave. It wasn't busy, 4 lanes to choose from. She wasn't inconveniencing anyone. Just being female and swimming faster than a couple of men. She wasn't racing, just building stamina.

Why not?
Nobody owns a lane. Becoming territorial, because you happened to arrive earlier, is odd.
Also, swimming under people is quite common, especially among club/ex-club swimmers. I personally wouldn't fancy swim under a breastroke kick though, if I was going to do that.

Perhaps surprised because he hadn’t realised someone else was in that lane. How close were you that he was able to swim right underneath you? How deep is this pool? How narrow are the lanes that they can’t cope with more than one person. Perhaps his issue was that you were swimming right at him, and he needed to move. He swam under the rope and into the next lane, that doesn’t sound like him being territorial, it sounds like you were. He moved back to lane 2 when it was empty because he prefers it. Just like you do.

Are you usually this bothered by people being in the same space as you?

Why not? It's a public pool. You don't own a lane. Perhaps that's his preferred lane? He moved over to Lane 3 so what's the issue?

Nothing to do with him being a man 🤣. Totally random adding that In. His actions are odd, why go into her lane in the first place ??

Wow I can't believe you've actually spent time thinking about this

Why try lane 2 in the first place?

He moved into lane 3 by deliberately swimming under her. Which is an aggressive move.