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Territorial dispute in swimming pool

487 replies

tamade · 26/08/2025 06:54

I am lucky enough to have a proper lunch break and at least three times a week I go to a nearby hotel and swim a mile, sometimes 2km.

Today I was alone in the pool and started swimming in lane two (of four) which is one lane away from the side closest to the changing rooms entrance. About 30 min later a man got in and stated to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane. I caught up with him at the far end and when he turned he looked at me swimming toward him and seemed surprised (surprised I hadn't moved lanes?). He then kicked off the wall and swam beneath me and under the lane divider into lane three. Not long after I finished up and went to get changed. Before exiting I looked back and sure enough he had moved back into lane two, which I presume is "his". And based on that I believe that he was trying to claim lane 2 when he initially moved in.

He is another regular I have seen him coming as I am going although we don't usually use the pool at the same time.

I think this is knobish behaviour

OP posts:
PhuckTrump · 26/08/2025 09:26

GleisZwei · 26/08/2025 09:17

'These men'. 🫣

Yes…these men.

The men who sit next to a woman on an empty train carriage.

The men who try to use the proximity of their (usually larger) bodies to edge us out of our spaces or to make us feel uncomfortable. And they are used to too many women doing what they want because women have been conditioned to “be nice”.

These men.

GleisZwei · 26/08/2025 09:26

tamade · 26/08/2025 09:20

That isn't what I meant at all. I mentioned his return to lane 2 because it is evidence that he prefers it or considers it "his". And if that is true it suggests that his motive was to get me to move lanes.

I would be willing bet that if I had started my session in lane 3 he would have gone into 2 and stayed there.

He doesn't consider it his any more than you consider it yours.

Cluborange666 · 26/08/2025 09:25

He was being a twat. Men acting like this really put me off swimming. Also the ones who do backstroke and hit you.

x2boys · 26/08/2025 09:25

tamade · 26/08/2025 09:20

That isn't what I meant at all. I mentioned his return to lane 2 because it is evidence that he prefers it or considers it "his". And if that is true it suggests that his motive was to get me to move lanes.

I would be willing bet that if I had started my session in lane 3 he would have gone into 2 and stayed there.

Well you seem to consider it yours🤷

Moosiemoo14 · 26/08/2025 09:21

YANBU. I swim every lunchtime with a lot of very aggy swimmers. I find people do have a preferred lane, I certainly do, but if someone is already in it you don’t make their water more choppy by deliberately going in it (this is also why lanes have different turning circles). I vote he thought you would be slower and he could force you over to the other ‘slower’ lane (even if not marked) then had to move when he realised you were not. For those who think it doesn’t matter, in my 2 years of lunchtime swimming I’ve learned to spot the ones like this (always men) who more often than not end up causing crashes in the pool. One territorial guy literally swam at a lady doing a turn a few days ago, luckily no one was hurt or but it really freaked her out.

tamade · 26/08/2025 09:20

x2boys · 26/08/2025 09:10

She didn't want him to have the lane even after she got out that's a bit strange .

That isn't what I meant at all. I mentioned his return to lane 2 because it is evidence that he prefers it or considers it "his". And if that is true it suggests that his motive was to get me to move lanes.

I would be willing bet that if I had started my session in lane 3 he would have gone into 2 and stayed there.

OP posts:
Shessweetbutapsycho · 26/08/2025 09:19

Icedlatteplease · 26/08/2025 07:17

He moved.

Yes men can be a dick in pools but doesn't sound like he was. Most pools have a faster medium slower (depends on the lane number of lanes in the pool) sounds like he was adjusting where he swam based on the relative speed which appears your pool has the same system. If you were going that much faster than him, sound like you should have been in the fast lane in the first place.

I'd have been fuming if I'd been forced to swim in the slow lane because someone who was swimming fast lane pace decided this was their lane and they were sticking to it

But he was a dick. He entered an otherwise empty pool, choosing the lane already occupied by a female swimmer. His intentions were clear, however she didn’t let him bully her out of the way so he moved. It was still a dick move on his part. The normal thing for him to have done would be select any of the other three available lanes.

Billybagpuss · 26/08/2025 09:18

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/08/2025 09:16

Surely it's easier to accidentally kick someone in the balls than in the face.

Actually no, it’s surprisingly hard to get an accurate punch, kick there, they just end up with an inner thigh bruise.

GleisZwei · 26/08/2025 09:17

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/08/2025 09:10

Well then these men need to be educated about how it makes women feel when they invade our personal space for no apparent reason, and do more thinking in future.

'These men'. 🫣

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/08/2025 09:16

ClearFoundation · 26/08/2025 09:12

A friend of mine got "accidentally" kicked in the face by a man doing similar in the wrong lane OP. I would proceed with caution

Surely it's easier to accidentally kick someone in the balls than in the face.

PhuckTrump · 26/08/2025 09:15

tamade · 26/08/2025 06:58

I think he expected me to relinquish it to him

Manspreading at its finest.

tamade · 26/08/2025 09:15

I think I should add that the lanes are not massively wide, about 1 or 2 feet wider than a full arm-span. So sharing is possible but not exactly convenient for passing. I can't see why anyone would want to share except during busy times.

OP posts:
ClearFoundation · 26/08/2025 09:12

A friend of mine got "accidentally" kicked in the face by a man doing similar in the wrong lane OP. I would proceed with caution

ConnieHeart · 26/08/2025 09:11

I still maintain that he didn't see OP in the pool when he first got in. That doesn't excuse him swimming under her but he didn't inconvenience her by doing so

Millionsofmonkeys · 26/08/2025 09:10

I swim regularly.
I have to remove my glasses to swim and use ear plugs to prevent me getting water in my ears.
This means I cannot see well or hear well.
I have on occasion switched lane to what I thought was an empty lane only to find that there was someone in it. I tend to go by the choppiness of the water or if someone has a very bright swim hat I can see them.

It's possible that this guy is short sighted - which is why he looked surprised to see you?

x2boys · 26/08/2025 09:10

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 26/08/2025 08:52

He can think what he likes. Just don’t give up your lane until you’ve finished.

Some people are just jerks and like to see what they can get away with.

Carry on. Ignore him. And amazing swimming!

She didn't want him to have the lane even after she got out that's a bit strange .

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/08/2025 09:10

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 09:03

You put more thought into this post than I presume the man did when he went into lane 2. Not everything is so deep.

Well then these men need to be educated about how it makes women feel when they invade our personal space for no apparent reason, and do more thinking in future.

limescale · 26/08/2025 09:09

Perhaps he didn’t have his glasses on!
Dunno…he was prob being a dick but there was no altercation so a non event really.

Cherrysoup · 26/08/2025 09:07

Spare lanes and just the 2 of you in the pool? He was being a bit silly.

x2boys · 26/08/2025 09:06

tamade · 26/08/2025 07:46

it's the moving back into lane 2 as soon as I got out though, I get not wanting to swim next to a wall or ladders but lane 3 is also open on both sides so why not continue there after I got out? my conclusion is that he lane 2 is his fave and he made a passive aggressive play for it right from the off.

I could be wrong but I like to work out how peoples minds work

You don't own the pool or the lane ,why can't he move back in to his preferred lane once you get out
Really not seeing an issue

WonderingWanda · 26/08/2025 09:05

I expect he really wasn't being a knob. He probably moved over because swimming next to the edge is crap in a small pool, all the waves bounce back in your face and you bash your hands. When he moved lanes I expect his surprise was just that you were swimming faster than he expected so then he moved over.

DonnaSueWeloveyou · 26/08/2025 09:04

I’m amazed by the amount of people on this thread who are jumping in (diving in?!) to defend a man who was clearly being completely unreasonable and a little aggressive.

If you go to a pool with 4 lanes available and one person already in one lane, would you seriously join that lane as opposed to one of the other 3 ones?

OP, you are definitely not being unreasonable.

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 09:03

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/08/2025 09:01

Yes, OK, it's his preferred lane. So what?

Let's work through it logically. There are four lanes only lane 2 is occupied.

So if he chooses lane 2, it means one of two things. Either he wants to swim in lane 2 because it is his preferred lane, or he wants to swim in lane 2 because it is the lane the OP (a lone female stranger) is swimming in.

When he gets in, the OP has no way of knowing which of the above two reasons is his reason for choosing lane 2. If it is because he simply prefers lane 2, this is annoying because he has chosen to get in her way when the rest of the pool is empty. If it is because she is there, she is potentially in danger from this random man. Either way, it's not good for her.

If it turns out that he does not represent any danger to the OP but simply prefers lane 2 (and once again, she has no way of knowing this), there are three possible outcomes.

  1. She moves over and he gets what he wants.
  2. She doesn't move over and he gets the message and moves over.
  3. Neither of them moves over and they continue swimming in the same lane.

The fact that he chose lane 2 and subsequently moved over when she did not suggests that he chose lane 2 because it was his preferred lane, but he also wanted a lane to himself. His first preference was to swim in his preferred lane and for the OP to move, (i.e. his intention was to try to make her move out of the lane he wanted to swim in), but his second preference was to swim in a different lane and have it all to himself. When the OP did not move, he switched to his second preference.

Why does this matter?

Because his actions show that he consciously chose to make a woman (and, as a reminder, the OP was a lone female stranger) feel uncomfortable so that he could get what he wanted.

That's why it's arsehole behaviour.

You put more thought into this post than I presume the man did when he went into lane 2. Not everything is so deep.

cinnamonbunlover · 26/08/2025 09:01

Yes people men can be absolute knobheads and hate it when you are faster than them and just love to get in you way.

90% aren’t though but I don’t remember them just the 10% that give me the rage. I see one guy and I know he is going to ruin my swim. He does one or two lengths slowly then stops for a break while I do and other 6 and then sets off just as I turn. He is a very large man who is tall and has huge arms and I just cannot ever pass him. He then always stand in the middle of the lane end completely oblivious to other swimmers and in fact when I moved to the side to let some flip he moved into that spot to talk to his daughter and chase this poor guy to crash. He regularly hits me with his paddle like hands

I swim 1k- 1 mile and can do 2k in around 45 minutes.

I swim in council pool with two lanes fast and slower. Depending on who is in i will swim in either lane but I will always be considerate and always give way and set of after after faster swimmers

I was trying to over take a very very slow man at the land ensure and he grabbed me and said I was rude for not asking to over take him. I was fuming! I did report it. But after he had left. He hadn’t quite grasped the concept of lane swimming.

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 09:01

GleisZwei · 26/08/2025 08:58

What are you reporting exactly? 🫣

I would love to see the receptionists face while this was being relayed to them