BBQ hosting etiquette

Of course she knows them better than you.

And ‘When’s the next one?’is not perfunctory. Perfunctory would be ‘We must have you all round to ours next time.’

It’s not weird at all if you like your friends.

Because some people keep the drinks in the fridge not on a table

It's really not that weird

Doesn't sound like OP does know them tbh

They don't think she's a mug. They had a nice evening and made the perfunctory statement about doing it again. It's a compliment to the host because they enjoyed it so much

Assuming the bbq was this weekend who’s had a chance to check their diary to suggest a return date? So uptight!

Why does that mean you get to go into their fridge?

Why not just drink what’s on the table?

At a BBQ, where drink is being provided...

Yep it's very much the "done" thing to say about doing it again with 0 expectations of that happening

Why are you going into people’s fridge?

OP knows them better than you.

Saying ‘when’s the next one?’ isn’t a compliment when the hosts have spent hundreds hosting you and you have no intention of returning their hospitality.

They may think OP is a mug who loves hosting without expecting anything in return but they will be disappointed.

Yes they either enjoyed the company or were very British Like when a school mums says you just must get together some time. But never arranges sometime.

Also, if I saw 4 or 5 bottles of wine chilling in the fridge at a BBQ, I'd assume it was to drink. Because who has more than 1 bottle chilling at a time 🤣?

Aldi were doing a great Provençal rose dupe, was it that, or a Zinfandel job?

"Oh we must do this again, when's the next one?" Is a compliment to the OP about how well it went.

It's also a pretty common thing to say, without really meaning it

It would be ruder and look worse, imo, if they refused your food

You aren't cut out to host if you're complaining they enjoyed themselves so much they don't want to leave. That's a compliment.

If you ask them to Bring a bottle to a BBQ then that's their contribution, BBQs don't have "host gifts" like a dinner party

You want food for your kids, you put it aside. The food being out means it's available

Aldi wine is great, don’t be such a snob!

I am team YABU- why invite people over for food and drinks if you don’t want them to consume those food and drinks. When I host people can help themselves to literally anything they find in the fridge- if I did have some special wine that I didn’t want to be drunk I’d hide that, as a guest if I saw it chilled in the fridge (or was offered it by a host as it sounds like your DH did) I would assume it was up for grabs. Why wouldn’t I?!

FFS. Why didn’t you just put this away/aside if you didn’t want it eaten.

you sound super stingey tbh. Didn’t sound like you really welcomed people. I take it you’re grown ups, not students?

What happened to enjoying people's company? I wouldn't notice what wine guests brought or how much food they ate.

It absolutely blows my mind that anyone would host people for a BBQ and the guests not be welcome to eat the food which is put out for them to eat.

Don’t let it put you off hosting again, it sounds like you all had a great time and they were appreciative. We often have bbqs with friends and usually get all the meat and usual extras (and yes it does add up!) but ask them to bring drinks and either a side dish or a pudding. Takes some of the cost and prep out if it.

You shouldn’t have had your own alcohol available. And you should’ve squirrelled some cooked food away for your kids for later, you’ll know next time!

For already salivating over the next expected free BBQ.

Personally , I wouldn’t dream of turning up to someone’s house for the first time, with a very cheap bottle of plonk and proceed to eat and drink everything on offer for the next 6 hours.

I am completely confused at your horror that people accepted what you offered

I mean, if you didn't want them to eat the food, why did you keep cooking more, and offering it to them ?
If you wanted to keep some back for your dc then why not put that aside before your guests came ?

Personally I prefer the taste of the wine I buy, even though it would be repeatedly described as 'cheap' by you. I would expect to have been able to put it on the table, or in the ice box and drink it. Which would mean all the guests get to drink what has been brought and you wouldn't be left with anything 'not to your taste'. Note - 'cheaper' doesn't mean 'nasty', it is just a different palette. If you are partial to paying a lot more for your wine and resent sharing it, then you needed to have instructed your dh not to offer it to your guests. If I am at a party, and someone comes round with a bottle of the same colour wine I'm drinking, I'd accept, as I think most people would - it isn't normal to say "No, I don't want your wine, I only want to drink from the bottle I bought'.

In terms of 'etiquette' - that is very much up to each family or each group of friends. Some people like to host and do everything, many others will ask guests to bring a pudding or a salad or a speciality for the BBQ (skewers or a particular marinaded meat or fish). But everyone is different.

What is odd, is doing it all yourself and then complaining that your friends accepted what you offered.

It doesn’t sound like there was enough food. And don’t offer guests a drink you don’t want them to have!

Vultures... for eating the food provided 🤣🤣🤣