Plane seats - refused to swap

@bumbalooi honestly can’t see her getting on the transfer bus at this point to even get to the airport. But it’s more the issue of me having to ask people to move too. I shouldn’t have to. Everyone will think I haven’t paid (when I have last September). My eldest daughter and husband are fine with their newly allocated seats, but not the youngest. We’re only on our second day of our holiday and it’s caused a major issue.

I’d be surprised if someone next to your autistic 13 year old ds clearly in distress wouldn’t swap with you.

Not related to your DH problem, but just want to flag to everyone saying that you’re guaranteed to be together if you pay. Because you’re not. I HAVE paid, but received an email this morning to say the aircraft has changed and as such we have new seats - and we’re scattered all over the aircraft. Spent all morning on the phone to the airline with the really annoying theme tune to be told “there’s nothing they can do”. So here I am in Cyprus with an autistic 13yo who is sat in between two strangers on the flight home, and has refused to leave the room all day as a result. Their solution was that I beg people to swap once on the plane…which just isn’t going to happen as I wouldn’t swap if I’d paid either.

Depends on the airline. Many don’t open check in until 24 hours before

You can reserve seats on BA in advance but you have to pay for it

Check in online usually opens up to 30 days before departure so if you get him to check you in online now you’re more likely to get to sit together as you have small children. If you leave it til the last minute, as your DH did, you’re more likely to get left either odd seats.

Exactly. We went away with my parents a couple of years ago. My Dad paid for us to have 4 seats together (even though we're well past childhood). He paid quite a bit to make sure we had 4 seats together. Why should we give them up because someone else couldn't be bothered.

Same with last year, we paid extra to have 2 bulkhead seats together, there's no way we were going to move when we've paid extra for those seats. Even though we were two adults and could quite easily sit on our own.

You want seats together, you pay the extra.

This reminds me of Vogue Matthews and her entitlement.

This is one reason why we have cheap flight tickets - because the airlines know plenty of us will and do pay for chosen seats so they factor that into the price they advertise. It's called making a profit - you know, that thing that is the first and most important priority of a business?

That parent of the distressed child should know in advance that being seated away from their child may cause distress and needs to cough up at the time of payment to be seated by them, not expect me in my paid for window seat to move (which I won't).

How does sitting the two children together away from the parents solve potential risks to either children?

I can't believe people seem happy to just accept young children being sat away from their parents, it's not acceptable, the airlines shouldn't do it, and people shouldn't put up with it. The default should always be for young children to be sat next to an adult known to them. This isn't just about protection from abuse, but safety and comfort generally - nobody wants to be sat next to a distressed child who wants their parent and nobody wants to end up being responsible for somebody else's child in an emergency situation.

And all the time we were talking about a 5 pound charge 🙄 x 4 .

Well, I think it's rude to expect someone who has paid a seat reservation fee (for reasons that you are not privy to) to move because you didn't want to pay one. I would move it was a like-for-like seat, but I book aisle seats for a personal reason that I'm not going to share with random people on the plane. And, if I have to take a connecting flight, I also book a seat towards the front of the plane so that I can disembark early.

If I've paid extra for my seat then I'm not giving it up because you've chosen to take the risk and decided the extra 20 quid wasn't worth it.

I recently flew with DS14, and a friend. Her DD15 should have been coming but changed her mind. We paid extra to book two lots of seats together, not near each other but we wanted to be able to sit next to each child. It was done just after the time of booking. My DS ended up choosing to sit by himself and leaving the spare seat next to him, as no-one else was allocated it, but we had a few people offering to swap their seats so he could sit with us, which was kind. But on the issue of your DH controlling the booking (and then don't managing it in a great way) I would be firm with him that you want to be involved.

We pay a lot of money to be able to all sit together on a flight and book far in advance, so I'm not surprised that other passengers wouldn't swop. I wouldn't.
Your main issue here is that your husband is controlling and way out of order.
You need to demand that he contacts the airline before the flight home.
In future, do yourself a favour, book your own holiday for you and your kids without him!

I noticed this when I flew with Ryan air recently l. Families were seperated.
When you check in 24 hours before your flight, they ask you if you want allocated seats. This is where you choose your seats but you have to pay extra for each seat. Some people don't bother paying the extra. If you want to sit near the children, you have to do it at check in.

Massive eye roll. I’m not lecturing anyone. I’m just saying my opinion, and I think it’s rude not to move for a small child. I wouldn’t move for a preference! I think it’s rude when there isn’t a discernible difference - row 15 or 16 etc etc

No he didn’t move, because the flight attendant intervened, but he wasn’t sat next to someone else’s small child, if he had been he
probs would. He has moved within the cabin so a couple could sit together.

I would not let him book flights, seats or any of the arrangements. If he cannot accept this, I would then be thinking about whether I was prepared to put up with him.

Could you not have sat the two kids together?

he sounds like a twat and I couldn’t like with that

I doubt many people would find themselves in such a situation because everyone knows you have to book your seats in advance if you want to sit together. There have been countless stories on SM recently about “chancers” lol. Hopefully a lesson has been learned. You also need to take more control of your own life and not allow H to control everything.

So you DON’T always move actually. You wouldn’t move from Business to Economy even though everyone else “has to move”.

Hypocrisy, much? Why do you think buying a Business seat exempts you from the empathy you require of everyone else?

For the record, it is cheeky fuckery to expect someone to swap a Business seat for an economy seat, but you can’t have it both ways. You can’t lecture other travellers that they have to move, but reserve boundaries for yourself.

Yes, interesting that it’s often a woman on her own who is pressured. We’re supposed to be “nice” and are regarded with more opprobrium when we don’t conform.

Just look at @Annoyed321 ‘s invective against all the other passengers. And the implication that her DD wasn’t safe sitting between two men when she could have solved that by seating her 2 DC together.

Her DH messed up but it’s everybody else’s fault.

This and the other thread about seats shows how little experience many posters have with flying.
The standard here is one leg flight booked well in advance through TUI or something like that.
And because they had never had issues there, everyone who has one is wrong.

In real world the situation when you are unable to pick seats, pay for them in advance, and actually get them through no fault of your own is not uncommon.

No not one problem at a time. You’re really more upset you’ll end up on TikTok than you children having this awful controlling man in their lives teaching them how to be treated and how to treat women? Priorities

OP I think the reason some people feel negatively about your dh is your comment that he refuses to let you see the booking because he says you’ll mess it up

unless you have some history of going online and repeatedly messing things up surely you can see why this sounds awfully controlling to other people

Disgusting suggestion.