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Plane seats - refused to swap

590 replies

Annoyed321 · 25/08/2025 16:28

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 25/08/2025 16:43

If you want to sit next to each other or your children you pay for seat allocation. Simple as that

TooHigh · 25/08/2025 16:43

You need to get the reference, log in and pay for the seats. Ask him for it or maybe try and do it together

Lovelynames123 · 25/08/2025 16:42

Which airline is it? Ive never been separated from my dc, sometimes I've paid, other times not (usually if we book last minute I can't book seats together but we've been allocated new seats on check in at the airport)

I'm surprised any airline is separating any young kids from parents, not my experience at all

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 25/08/2025 16:42

Well he’s not got a leg to stand on saying you can be trusted with the booking because he massively fucked this one up. I can’t believe he didn’t care about his 8yo DD having to sit between two men she didn’t know. My girls would have found this extremely stressful and upsetting. (mine are neurodivergent so maybe I’m seeing things differently, I don’t have anything to compare them to).

pontivex · 25/08/2025 16:41

If you want to sit together you need to pay. Don’t be surprised though if you are left with random seats again for the return.

TickyandTacky · 25/08/2025 16:41

Pay like everyone else!

jamnpancakes · 25/08/2025 16:40

People pay to get the seats they want. I see it as a part of the ticket price now.

Annoyed321 · 25/08/2025 16:40

I really don’t mind paying and DH has faults but he definitely wouldn’t skimp on paying extra to sit together all other times we have always sat other this has never happened. I was shocked they would actually sit kids away from parents. I genuinely think it was an error on the computer.

OP posts:
MellowPinkDeer · 25/08/2025 16:40

Just pay the hundreds of pounds to book the seats like the rest of us do.

GCAcademic · 25/08/2025 16:39

DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child!

Well, he's the one who's fucked up, isn't he, not managing to book you seats next to your children? Perhaps you should let him know that he's not to be trusted with booking things and you'll need to take charge from now on.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 25/08/2025 16:38

To ensure you sit together, you have to pay. You can choose seats at time of booking or up to X hours before the flight, depending on the airline. Leaving it until 24 hours is risky. ‘Together’ can also be over the aisle or behind each other.

It’s the least of your problems though, as PP says.

CleanShirt · 25/08/2025 16:38

You can pay for allocated seats at the time of booking, a long time before you try to check in. It wasn't the fault of the other passengers that your husband's a dick.

Thelondonone · 25/08/2025 16:37

Generally, to sit next to your kids, you pay through the nose.

Annoyed321 · 25/08/2025 16:35

RimTimTagiDim · 25/08/2025 16:33

Seats are really not your main problem, are they? How can we help you get away from the controlling dick you're married to?

Thank you! But let’s do one problem at a time 😂 how can I make sure I sit next to my kids. Also should I be really embarrassed how I reacted and pleaded with strangers to let me sit next to my kids? I know I sound crazy but I’m worried incase I got videoed and end up on TikTok!

OP posts:
RimTimTagiDim · 25/08/2025 16:33

Seats are really not your main problem, are they? How can we help you get away from the controlling dick you're married to?