Plane seats - refused to swap

Sorry OP, but folk are starting to get really fed up of parents not booking seats together and then expecting others to move to accommodate them.
If the booking is in his name, and he won't give you the reference, then you won't be able to check in early or do anything about it for the return leg either, unfortunately. He does sound like an inconsiderate twat though.

I couldn’t stay married to a man who a) had complete disregard for my kids’ safety and comfort b) was so controlling he wouldn’t let me access a booking.

Honestly, once the immediate issue of the flight home is resolved you need to come back to mumsnet, list ALL the controlling weird shit he has done (bet there’s loads) and we can help you leave him.

Imagine next year booking your OWN flights and taking your kids yourself, who’ll be sat next to you because you did it yourself.

This is actually disgusting. I don’t fly, so I was under the impression that minors automatically get seated next to their adult they’re flying with. I’m actually baffled that it’s not the case and this happens.

She’s not blaming other passengers

Thing is OP that he DIDN’T pay at the point of purchase and left it to chance when check-in opened. Others will have paid, so your return flight is subject to the same ‘seat roulette’ as your outbound flight.

Are you sure there really was an error OP? Even if a phone call was needed, any normal person would would have had the entire booking fully confirmed including seat reservations, before paying. It sounds like he didn’t want to pay up.

Ive always paid the extra to ensure being sat next to kids.
Don't bother doing this when holidaying with friends.

You can choose seats on checking in 24 hrs before but there’s usually also an option to pay at time of booking too. Unfortunately if everyone else has already chosen their seats on booking then you may end up with the same situation on the way home. Leaving it until 24 hrs before is risky as there may not be seats together available, especially during busy times for children traveling in the school holidays, or as you found out there might be an error.

I think your best bet is to speak to your husband and show him the article about the girl that was recently sexually abused on a plane. Then he needs to login and try to upgrade to pick and pay for his seats. Or you need to get hold of the flight data and speak to the airline, put on a deep voice and pretend to be him.

You left it too late. We choose seats when we book or just after. 24 hours before is risking it as most people are more organised than that.

You can pay to choose your seats when you book the flight.

The issue was you couldn't check in online so it was the left over seats i.e the middle ones... normally they can get you close together even if the whole party isn't sat together (so across an aisle for example).

Your DH is an absolute dick. It’s super easy to get seats together, you just pay when you do the booking. Sometimes it’s not even that much.

Your best bet now (assuming he hasn’t done that) would be to just go online with the booking reference on your phone and check in as early as possible to try and get at least 2 together. I bet it was working fine but your idiot husband couldn’t be arsed. If he refused to share the details with me I’d raise merry hell and either refuse to fly back with them at all (I’d book my own flight), so he has to go with the kids on his own, or say I’m going to book completely separate flights with the kids back myself a day early and then change the locks when you get back.

Honestly I think this is coercive control though, and he’s using the kids to get a reaction, what an utter bastard.

Use a travel agent.

You cannot guarantee to sit by your kids. Even paying for seats you could be split up.

You need a clear conversation with your DP about your flight home. When does check-in online open and plan to do the seats immediately. Unless you can book seats together now?

As for flight out, you could have sat your children together and you say alone. I would do this so they had each other.

I wish people would respond to what the OP actually said - she isn't trying not to pay but her h is controlling and won't sort out the seats together and won't let her do it either.

I don't know what to suggest OP - could you get into his emails if he leaves them logged on on a shared device and do it from there? Sorry if that's not helpful but you're definitely not being UR. Don't worry about what people thought - they don't know you and I'm sure they have forgotten it now. chances are your dc would be fine but I completely understand not wanting them sitting next to strangers just in case they need you.

Your H sounds a total prick.

I think in 2014 we probably chose seats at the online check in stage but the last few years we have selected seats and paid at the point of booking. For whatever reason your DH clearly has chosen not to do this and play roulette with the seat allocation.

Seats have different price points, I prefer to sit at the back so they are "only" about £25 each. However having booked them and paid for them I would assume you had made a conscious choice to try and save £100 and it hadn't worked out for you.

Other people won’t know your circumstances with DH and I am afraid they will likely think you were too cheap to pay and have to bear the consequences. Everyone knows you have to pay to sit with your kids on budget airlines these days. The only way you can guarantee it on the way back is to check in sooner online and pay for seats together. If he won’t let you have the details to do this or do it himself then the same thing will happen again. I can’t see any way around it that doesn’t involve him I’m afraid. I hope he will sort it having seen yours and Dds distress

Wow! He won't let you have access to the booking. Get away from this guy. Something tells me you have hundreds of examples like this. No wonder you're a nervous wreck.

I probably would have sat with the 5 year old for takeoff and landing, and the rest of the flight sat the children together.

(obviously this depends on how they get on)

how long was the flight?