Friendship ended after 20 years

I voted reasonable because I think you have enough on your plate now with your little son being ill. You probably havnt the head space for much else outside the immediate family and your "friend" is selfishly making it all about herself. I could understand it if your social media postings showed you out and about with friends and socializing, while cutting her out. Well that is not the case. They are intended as progress updates for a lot of people and SM is the easiest way to do it. A real friend would understand the situation and not put extra pressure on you. She would still be there when (hopefully) all this has passed.

i just feel like this message was needed with all the sudden publicity about ‘your son’ and obvs i haven't responded to anything. we sent you money and presents as soon as we heard about ‘your son’ so hopefully you know that we do care

Her use of the word ‘publicity’ says it all. She is a grief vulture who is angry not to be named name checked in your social media and who wants you to message her so she can tell everyone that she has an inside line to you.

She is not your friend, she does not care about you or your son.

There are two people in the world thinking the same way?

Unbelievable!

Should OP reply personally to everyone, because they’ll have a tantrum otherwise?

Do you not think OP may be busy, drained, exhausted etc and not have or want individual conversations with self centred people who don’t have her best interests at heart.

Why should OP update her individually?

Has she always been so narcissistic? Making your baby boy's cancer about her is pretty mind-blowing levels of main character syndrome. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Passive Aggressive, I’ll give with one hand and take from the other hand !!!
Very sorry to read your post. Rise above her pettiness and you do what you have to do to be the strength your son and family need to be!
I’ve had cancer, and I realised friends of 20+ years fell by the wayside, guess for some people friendship is a one way street .
Sending you good thoughts and virtual hug 🥰

I know you want to but you'll never understand it from her point of view because it's almost impossible to put yourself in the shoes of someone this selfish & self absorbed.

You've enough to be dealing with right now without her nonsense and any decent friend would realise this.

Just ignore her from now on. You don't need that crap in your life.

Best wishes to your son and family.

One of my dc had cancer and luckily no one sent me messages of this kind but if they had I would have told them to fuck right off and blocked them

I haven't read the thread before posting this.

My son had a stroke in utero. Four days post birth we found out and entered a whirlwind.

We had a couple of people who checked in and updated the rest of our friends and family. This is entirely reasonable. Not a single person decided to do what your 'best friend ' did. She's an arse.

Wishing you and your family all the love in the world. x

That is unforgivable. She would be dead to me.

Narcissist!

What a self-centred horrible person.
Ignore her messages and don't text back, op. A decent person wouldn't put this on their enemy, nevermind a friend, in such a difficult time.

I'm sorry about your little boy, op. Sending you lots of strength for this time

So sorry for you and your son. What a very difficult time for you and your family.

As others have said, this kind of behaviour from people does sometimes happen during crises. I imagine it’s some kind of stress reaction or a need to be involved, but it must be very challenging for you to deal with while also living through such a stressful time. I also think many of these people have no real understanding of the reality of what you’re going through.

When my daughter had a worrying period of ongoing ill health and was out of school for a long period of time, she sometimes felt up to calls with one friend who could make her laugh. But when another mum at school heard about this, she insisted that her daughter, who wasn’t even really friends with mine, should call her. She was annoyed when I declined the offer. It was just one example of the strange behaviours adults displayed during that time to both me and my daughter.

Sending hugs to you all.

Sadly cancer can bring out the worst in some people.
Twice in my life I have seen things play out a bit like this .
Someone ill cut out half their friends who had supported them through their treatment and took up with some much more affluent friends
And other person completely ignored their friends cancer diagnosis and got very selfish
They were both odd situations .
No excuses for your friend at all just follow your own path . You are not responsible for other people’s reactions . Block and ignore and carry on coping the way you want to .

She’s a selfish twat

edited to say
Im so sorry for u and your family and I hope everything works out for you all xx

Absolutely nobody should have any expectations of you at the moment. You’ve barely got over the shock of his diagnosis. Updating the world on Facebook is completely understandable. She has absolutely no empathy or understanding. A decent human being would be there for you right now. If she was even halfway decent she’d swallow any issues she had with your behaviour right now to fix at a time when your son has fully recovered and your family has recovered from the trauma.

Id be tempted to put her post on bloody Facebook for the rest of the world to judge!

Blimey, I can't believe she's making your son's cancer all about her. I don't think she really wants updates either, she just wants bragging rights that she's getting individual responses from you compared to everyone else. She really is no friend, so don't waste any more emotions or thoughts on her while you're dealing with your son being ill and just block her.

I hope your DS is responding well to treatment.

I’m so sorry your son is so unwell.

People like this have massive egos and want to be centre of attention - even (especially) at times like this.

I’m not known for my tact so I’d have told her to ‘just fuck off’ but your responses were fine and YANBU in any way.

Off you pop cunty chops is all you need reply. Then block. Even on all sm.

Anyone with an ounce of sense, or compassion, would realise that posting a general video or post somewhere isn't the same as getting embroiled in conversation and dealing with someone else's emotions.

When op posts it's about her, when she speaks to this 'friend' it becomes about them (especially given the nature of this post where its clear the 'friend' feels put out due to not being the main character)

Many of us, myself included, find it much easier to speak to strangers and acquaintances when going through something this difficult, and a true friend would realise that.

Op is allowed to have an outlet for what she is going through without fear of someone taking it personally.

I’m so sorry about your son and hope he gets better soon. I think the issue here is your tik tok and social media posting? Obviously we don’t have all of the information but presumably she is upset that rather than reply to her individually you make tik tok videos…..depends on the content of the videos I suppose? But in a vague way I sort of see where she is coming from if you don’t reply to her but then post on social media instead

You were far politer in your reply than I would have been!

Sending best wishes to your son x

What an absolute gobshite.

Let her know if your son needs anything. Your son is 2! What could be possibly want or need from her! He just needs you!

She should be so embarrassed to have written that. I hope she sees this thread.