To be fascinated by tidy people

Good advice from all the tidy folk. But…..on your deathbed will your dying wish be that your cushions were all straight, or that your kids remember a happy childhood? Not saying a tidy house = an unhappy family, but just wondering how important tidiness is. Must go now, can’t find my keys again. If only I had a tidy place to put them😊

One rule that worked for me is if a task takes less than 3 minutes to complete, just do it there and then without a second thought and don’t delay it.

it worked for me cause I used to create massive to do lists and the tasks were easy but felt overwhelming as there was so much to do, so I’d procrastinate. Whereas using the 3 minutes rule, those tasks never end up on a to-do list as they’re just…done.

Clearing up the high hair is the same job as putting away lunch and wiping the kids’ hands. It’s not a separate job so should not be left till later.

No-one leaves cups etc on the side so that doesn't fester. When you get up from anywhere, you take your stuff to where they need to be.

I wash up/clear up while I'm cooking. When I'm done cooking, the only things dirty are the pots and the crockery we've eaten from.

I have a broom - easier for everyday sweeping than getting out the vacuum. I sweep often - according to my daughter, I imagine dirt- but the dust where I live is just ridiculous.

I wash often so there's never a huge pile to put away. Just little amounts I fold while watching tv.

It probably helps that there are only 2 of us. And my daughter has been tidying away from she could walk something to a box, so has gotten into the habit or clearing after herself. She had a messy room phase, but I didn't allow that to take root.

Clean as you go, do little often... That keeps me on top of things.

Don't leave things out - ever ! The second they are not needed any more they go back where they should be . And everything should have a place .
Nobody should have 'stuff' everywhere . It's awful to look at and indicates stress and chaos .

Rome wasn't built in a day. You just need to start somewhere whether that be less stuff or a place for the stuff you have ie a hook for the swim bag and nappy bag just to get them off the floor.
With the cleaning try and make a routine, ie clean the highchair as soon as meal time is over.DBe consistent and you'll be surprised at how quickly you do these things without thinking and how straight things will be.
But, you both need to be on board.

• If you leave a room take something with you, every time.
ie quick glance around: is there something in this room that doesn’t belong? Take it out with you. Always be carrying something out of a room.

• Use pockets of time.
Waiting for the kettle to boil? Clear the sides. Children having a bath? Clean the sink.
Waiting for children to put shoes on (Or is it just mine that take ages)? Sort the coat hooks out.

• An object in motion stays in motion.
Set a five (or even 2!) minute timer and get something done in that time. You find once you’re up and going then you’re often likely to carry on past the timer.

I'm the same as you @tangerinemagic - and my mum was like Hyacinth Bucket on speed when I was growing up...one of these 'I can't sit down until everything is perfect' people.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD which is probably part of it - lack of dopamine and far too much stuff from a new hyperfixation every couple of months. What I find really helps is putting on an audiobook and getting stuck in to the cleaning/tidying. It's much easier to do the boring stuff while listening to something that takes my
mind off it.

I also have a lot of Kallax units!

I grew up in a messy house, and my own room veered between extremely messy, then immaculate because I would suddenly get a yen to make it perfect. But I couldn't seem to maintain it, no idea why.

As an adult in my own home, I am tidy to the point of obsessive—everything has to be in its place, to the millimetre. Again, I don't know why.

Our house isn't perfectly clean though—I hate cleaning and we have dogs and cats that are in and out all day. It's just about clean enough, but we're certainly not scrubbing the skirting boards every week month year.

Are you confusing tidying and cleaning? You are talking about tidying, but then keep mentioning things (high chair, pram) being “mucky”. And I’m not sure, but when you talk the same way about eating while watching TV on the sofa, are you implying that you don’t clear dishes away, get rid of crumbs etc afterwards?

Clean should be non-negotiable IMO. I can’t think of any reason why you can’t regularly keep things clean.

And sorry but it sounds like a lot of the clutter is laziness. Why on earth would you not hand something back up after you have tried it on?

It's no big secret, just self-discipline.

If you've got time to take something out of a cupboard, you've got time to put it back.

In fact if you take anything from anywhere or bring something into the house, it probably takes less than a minute or two to just put it away.

It gets a bit boring I suppose but so does eventually tidying up all the mess that's accrued.

I literally can’t think straight in mess. And people do comment on how tidy my house is and I think ‘no it’s not it’s a tip’ because there’ll be kids stuff in piles, kids stuff in use etc. (pre kids it was show home standard). But i don’t make an issue as I know kids are kids and I just tidy up after they’re done. Best thing I ever did was buy a dishwasher as you can instantly hide dirty dishes instead of them piling up. Same with big toy boxes, boxes under beds. Just chuck everything in them shut the lid. Hey presto, instantly tidy. (Chaos inside obviously - ha) I don’t judge others mess at all though. im weirdly envious of people who can relax in chaos. Don’t feel lazy or beat yourself up. Life is too short if tidy isn’t your priority and relaxing is.

You do seem me to focus on ‘mums’. In our house both me and my husband keep the house clean. It’s not just on me. It’s genuinely equal.

I have lots of time to sit down because I tidy as I go along. It’s because I hate tidying that I do it immediately!

So spray the highchairs, put them down for a nap and when you come back they just need need wiping. I'm a childminder so I do get it but it's much easier if you just do it as you go along.

It depends on the task. Eg sorting out dirty kitchen items (dishes/cutlery/pans etc) is an easy one whether you hand wash or load the dishwasher, so no point having that festering on the side all day. Just do it as you go.

Personally before I go to bed, I aim to make sure:

• any dirty kitchen items are sorted
• dirty laundry either in basket, and if full then washed, dried and put away
• rubbish/recycling/parcel boxes in bin and if bins are full, either taken out or prepped to be taken out the next morning
• “stuff” is generally all put away and in its place ie clothes hung, new buys are put away, things just generally aren’t left out longer than required

if I feel I need to, I’ll give surfaces a wipe or do a quick hoover. But honestly all this takes me like 10 minutes max because I’m working from an already-tidy baseline.

What about clothes in bedroom? Do you hang things up once you try them on? I have so many clothes out at all times

Absolutely. If I’m not going to wear it, it goes back in the wardrobe. And dirty stuff straight into the laundry basket.

The ONLY reason I'm now tidy is because the cleaner cleans, he doesn't put my stuff away. So no more floordrobes or junk scattered round the house.
We've got into a routine, he cleans everything which is great because quite frankly life's too short and I put stuff away and wash up.
My house before Dan was a disaster area.

I am naturally tidy and always have been. When the kids were little, if their car seats or pushchairs had crumbs in them at the end of the outing, I would tidy it up straight away. Same with rubbish in the car - straight into the house with it at the end of the journey. Around the house, the kids always helped me tidy up their toys before bath time or, if we were pushed for time, I’d do it as soon as I came down after putting them to bed. Beds made as we’re getting dressed. Kitchen tidied up and surfaces wiped straight after each meal. Little hand held vacuum cleaner for tidying up around high chairs and the floor.

I can just do all these things without having to think about them, or remind myself. It’s not hard work for me and doesn’t feel difficult. I think the tidiness and “order” make me feel calm so it’s calming to do those activities around the house.

If you want to be tidy (and it’s fine not to be tidy!) then I think it’s easier to do it in little 2 or 3 minute bursts like this, rather than having to face a massive clean and tidy twice a month.

I think ( not being a tidy person myself) that it's a question of how much time you are prepared to devote to it.
My SiL, who had a full time job and small children at the same time as I did, never sat down. She was constantly tidying, washing up throughout the day and evening, whether or not guests were present. Her children didn't have random toys out all over the house, the toys were kept and used in the children's bedrooms. I never saw a jumper hanging over a chair, a school bag dropped in the corner, lunch boxes waiting to be washed out. Everything was put away the minute it was finished with. She had good storage downstairs, but didn't do things like junk modelling, so that kept the place tidy and it meant that also she wasn't hanging on to old cereal boxes and newspapers and bits of string. But the main reason her house looked so nice was the amount of time and effort she put into it.

One person I know who is very very tidy does it out of pure anxiety.

It's like, she cannot sleep if things aren't clean, dry and put away. She tells herself it's a moral good, but I know her well and I can see it's a form of control of her environment because she is an incredibly anxious person prone to catastrophising. Her entire life is given over to these anxieties but she pretends that it's other people who are failing, rather than she who is massively overcompensating.

Once in a while she has to take some time out in order to gut her house of anything she doesn't need. She gives things away or sells them, and then feels calmer for a bit.

I don't think she's particularly unhappy overall, but that might be because she keeps so much control over her home.

I just can’t have it very messy or dirty for long. It makes me feel claustrophobic and stressed.

Our house isn’t like a show home - there are books everywhere and toys about - but it’s generally clean and stuff is looked after. Things have a place, and we try to keep the house fairly declutterred.

I hate cleaning but it’s not that hard to hoover, wipe the surfaces and steam clean the kitchen floor once a week.

Interesting you mention being a morning person. I do think the two go together.

I was neither a morning person nor a tidy person for many many years. I’ve kind of had to teach myself to be both of these - and life is certainly the better for it. But I did manage it before having DD.

Like I said before - tidy as you go and it won’t take so long. And on top of that, teach your kids to be tidy and then it’s less for you.