To be fascinated by tidy people

People don't usually agree but I believe it runs much deeper. I think it has to do with ahdh and trauma, coping mechanisms and behaviour patterns. The mess serves a purpose (Like clutter for hoarders, weight for some people with ED, addiction for people with trauma and so on). If you deal with the underlying problem, the symptoms will ease by themselves. I've been working on that for years and now sometimes I see myself thinking like a tidy person. It's mind blowing. (I still have a long way to go)

I must admit I don’t understand this tidy = not fun idea.

Our home is very tidy and IMO we have way more fun because we’re not constantly looking for things or stressing we’re going to be late because we can’t find keys etc. we are also ready to accept visitors at a moments notice so probably socialise a lot more than we would if we had to decline due to embarrassment of mess.

It’s SO much nicer to relax in a clean and tidy home that smells fresh.

I don't think you need a tidy home when you have kids. I like a home to look lived in, not a show home. As long as it's clean, What's the harm.

If you wipe down the high chair after each time it is used, it will only take seconds. If you leave it until until the next day or until after a few meals, it will take much longer as you’ll be dealing with dried in food and more food bits, etc. The same with the floor.

This is how I keep things tidy:

Start with boot camp - set aside some time to ruthlessly declutter and make sure everything has a place so that it’s easy to tidy in the future. I have a label maker and assign everything a box or shelf but it doesn’t have to be like that as long as everyone knows where things are. Personally I find it easier because DH is ‘cupboard blind’ as in spite of his best efforts can’t find things in a cupboard even when they’re staring him in the face 🤣. If he knows he just has to find the labelled box it’s easier for him somehow and less hassle for me as a consequence.

Then I do half an hour a day in one room using the Organised mum method. Get the app, it’s amazing! So I do lounge Monday, bedrooms Tuesday etc. I also do something laundry related every day, quick clean of the loos and sinks and quick hoover/sweep of the main traffic areas. Those things take ten to fifteen mins a day, then you’re done for cleaning for the day. Each clean starts with a five minute declutter so it never stays messy for long. I used to do whole house cleans and it’s exhausting. Just do a room every day and once you’ve done a couple of weeks of that, everywhere starts to feel cleaner and tidier all the time. Any if somewhere gets messy again, well you know you’ll be back in there again soon….

I spend about ten or fifteen mins at the end of the day clearing up from dinner and setting the kitchen back to rights. I also have good storage for bags, shoes and coats (in a hall cupboard) and everyone is expected to put those away as soon as they come in.

Be your future friend when you arrive home with things like swimming stuff….two minutes of sorting those as soon as you come through the door means they don’t build up into a pile that you don’t want to tackle later.

I have plenty of time to sit down once the jobs are done.

Also, five minutes here and there make a big difference and use your time well. If I’m cooking, I use the ‘in between times’ like waiting for the kettle to boil or the rice to finish cooking to give the sink a quick clean or put away the dishes on the drainer and by using little slots of time, things stay under control.

good luck!

This is the one I’d seen @Spuddled

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/housekeeping/5390377-are-there-any-reformed-messy-people-on-here-how-did-you-overcome-it

If you have kids, you need to be ruthless and very consistent. They grow fast, so their clothes are constantly changing. If you start piling things up to "sell" but don't do it straight away - with a time limit to bring to charity shop if they don't sell, you will drown under piles of unwanted stuff very quickly.

Here's my take on it all and how I function - coming from a nearly 63-year old:

I was born "neat and tidy". Grew up in a fairly orderly home but not show home level or OTT. It was clean and things had a place. However DF's desk area was a tip and I hated that.

I function much better in an orderly environment and don't handle muck and mess well - it really gets me down.

I like to keep on top of things and hate getting behind schedule or not completing everything I want to do in a day/week/month.

I love a list!

From when first DC was born some three decades, I've always rotated, passed on, sold, swapped toys, clothes and equipment. Very little stored 'for later'. Nothing in the loft and only essentials kept in garage or shed.

I always put things away carefully, eg removing batteries if not going to be used, labelling things, having a proper place for everything.

In the days when we had camera film printed and posted to us, I would immediately label and date all the photos and put in albums so DC each have a complete record of their childhoods in chronological order.

End of school year stuff would be dealt with in first few days of summer holidays. Take photos of important stuff and keep only a few special items - more than a few and they're no longer special. Bin most of it!

I'm also a bargain hunter and hate wasting money.

Think carefully about whether you really want/need to do things and that can apply to a night out, a play date, buying an outfit, going on holiday or anything else. Don't just follow the herd.

All the above make life as simple as possible and, in reality, I want to put as little energy as possible into all those hundreds of everyday tasks we have to do. Keep life simple, get rid of the crap and you'll have more head space and time to enjoy the nice things in life. Good luck!

I'd say clutter makes things look and feel chaotic and untidy even if everything is actually clean. Limit cleaning/tidying time so it feels more manageable (I love to do what I call a Clean in 15 - I bang on a playlist of songs I love, set a timer for 15 mins and just do whatever catches my eye for that time and that time only). It's never about things being perfect, I just look for a dramatic improvement in cleanliness or tidyness and I'm happier for it.

@SoScarletItWas could you link it please? I can only find a recent thread. Thanks.

I would love to know too OP. I want to be so much better.

We were always pretty messy with clutter everywhere until we remodelled our house. It isn't any bigger but we ruthlessly got rid of anything we didn't need & improved our storage. It's much easier to keep the house reasonably tidy with less clutter & more storage. I suggest you start with a bedroom (easisest room I think) & go through everything getting rid of what you don't want/need. Get your husband to take the kids out, put some good music on & get to work. Once you've done one room you will feel so much better & want to do the other rooms. We feel like a weight has been lifted now, even though the house is still not perfect & not always spotlessly clean. It's also very rewarding giving things away on local groups or to charity shops or selling things that have a value - use the money to buy some great storage. Good luck.

I am not naturally a tidy person. I am a clutter bug. I'm here looking around my desk at work (WFH) there are 3 plates, 2 coffee mugs, a pint glass and my big water bottle Along with wipes, deodrant, a fly swat, more pens than I need - because I lose them and get a new one from the box only to then find it under some papers!!

BUT in the rest of the house I try really really hard to contain it. I have two boys a 3 yr old and a 1 year old. IT IS HARD!!

Things that work - we got a big unit from Ikea with lots of storage. https://www.ikea.com/addon-app/storageone/besta/web/latest/ie/en/ I have boxes that fit in there and at the end of the day the toys get thrown into those boxes. I do not sort them. Just in. I also keep about 1/4 of the toys in kallax boxes in their bed rooms. And the other 1/4 in a large plastic box in the garage (in London unlikely to have a garage so somewhere else). I sell/ donate clothes and toys the minute baby DS is out of it.

Bathroom - I have cupboards with boxes. Keep the counter clear. If the area is a little grubby I use a baby wipe to quickly clean it. Once a week I put vinegar down the loo and leave it over night.

Kitchen - I have a ninja pressure cooker I do a lot of one pot meals. Tonight will be a chicken 'fried' rice dish. One pot, all in. Not much to clean up and don't have to monitor it while it cooks.

I have a robot vac I absolutely love it

Declutter the kitchen too. I had a broken fridge magnet, actually of a London bus. It has been broken for about 2 years. I keep saying - I must fix that. I have not fixed it, so I have finally thrown it out. My natural inclination is to hold onto things. A few glass yard from jam/ etc is handy, 64 of them is not.

I flitter around though and find it really hard to stay on track. What helps is a washing basket in the room you are cleaning, e.g. if I am cleaning the sitting room I have a washing basket and put things that do not belong in there into the basket. When I am done I then sort the basket. Before I would find DS's shoe and take it to his room. Then find babies sock so would take it to the washing machine. Then decide to empty the washing machine. Then see that there are clothes to fold. Take the clothes to fold to the table, on the table spot that the butter had been left out. Put the butter in the fridge. Look at the fridge magnet and think I must fix that. Bin it. Empty the bin. Stand at the door wondering what on earth I am supposed to be doing!!!!!

'Doom boxes' = just an empty box kept in the room for clutter. Once a week empty the doom box

As others have said though consistence is key.

I do not live in show house by any stretch of the imagination. But the house for the most part is clutter free and tidy.

Do whatever is easiest for you to get rid of whatever you don’t use. Forget about the cost of it - instead decide if you have the time to sell it or is it easier to drop off at a charity shop. Going forward then, think about the cost of each item before purchasing - do you really need it/how long will it be used for, etc.

Your house will never be tidy if there’s too much in it and you don’t have storage doe everything. What’s the point in keeping something if you’ve no use for it.

We have a wide rope basket each that’s for those annoying clothes you don’t want to put back in the cupboard but aren’t dirty enough for the linen basket.

I’m a huge fan of pretty rope/woven baskets in general. Any clutter can quickly be swept into a basket - on the floor, hanging on a hook, they look nice!

There's a difference between unhygienic and dirt v clutter. Sorry but not wiping highchairs down straightaway that's had food on is gross.
Few piles of clothes that need putting away is just untidy.

My downstairs is pretty tidy and clean majority of the time, as is the bathroom. Laundry kept up to date.Bedrooms prone to clutter. I've just spent an hour tidying drawers and putting stuff on vinted and into a charity pile.

1 touch method works for me. Also I'll go through phases of just tidying 1 drawer a day in kitchen for example.

Some people are naturally 'low energy', but it seems it might be more than this in your case.
How is your health? It would be worth getting checked out (thyroid, iron, etc.)

How often during the day do you need to "have a sit down"?
A reasonable amount might be 20-30 mins after lunch or whilst they nap, and an hour or max two hours before bed whilst scrolling or watching TV..
If you have to sit down multiple times a day, plus whenever you get home from being out, and all evening, then something is wrong.

Do you have ADHD?

You're putting stuff away, not managing aid convoys in Mogadishu, FFS.

I have a "something comes in so something goes out" rule which I try hard to stick to. i live in a tiny house so even a few things left lying around makes it look untidy so I do a quick swoop every day. I loathe housework with a passion but find liitle and often is more bearable than full on less frequent clean ups

I have small kids and I'm tidy. The house isn't tidy all day but it is after they've gone to bed. Combination of:

1. feel stressed if the house isn't tidy so prioritise it above other stuff. Not necessarily a good thing, often tidy over e.g. playing with my kids
2. immediately get rid of stuff we don't need so e.g. the sofa thing wouldn't happen. Id put it on freecycle for free before it was cluttering up the house. Ruthless about decluttering kids toys and clothes
3. lots of built in storage so everything has a home
4. spend between 10 minutes -1 hour a day tidying in evenings depending how much mess there is.
5. stuff like the clothes - I just don't do this. I hang it up and if I really can't be bothered I shove it in the side of the wardrobe which is open drawers so it can't be seen.
6. my husband is also tidy so I'm not in it on my own.

It doesn't make me a better or worse person I just really can't function with it any way. Also live in London and the house is small so there's no escape from it by just e.g. closing the playground or utility room door! I think if the house was bigger I would care less.

Tidy people are organised and have good systems, so it doesn’t take long to tidy at all. It just a matter of tidying as you move through the day. Have a designated space or spot for everything. Say, a designated space for shoes, even if it’s just a basket on the ball floor - chuck shoes into info in when you come in through the door - job done. Hang coats up straight away after coming in - again, job done. Keep ‘stuff’ to a minimum. Lots of toys - store some of them away and rotate. Encourage your children, no matter their age, to put away a toy before getting another out - obviously toddlers won’t do this but you can involve them in a 5 minute tidy up before bed. Wash dishes and wipe down table and surfaces immediately after a meal. Adopt a policy with children of no food eaten except at kitchen/dining table. Before going to bed at night, spend 5 minutes or less tidying living room and kitchen. Same in morning with bedrooms.

Tidy people don’t actually spent lots of time tidying because there’s never a major tidy up to do, it’s just done on an as you go along basis with everything taking seconds iykwim.

You have too much stuff probably. I never “try on” clothes unless I’ve bought them online and am seeing if they fit. I decide what to wear and put it on.

Put away not down
Never leave a room empty handed

Same. I remember the health visitor calling in to see my new son (in the 80s) and as she left she said “you might want to drop your standards”. I didn’t. No harm came to him. Bizarre.

Forget selling anything.
Getting the stuff out of the house is far more important that recouping a few quid.

If an item is eventually going to landfill, that is where it is going, that is its destiny, so make peace with that. You could give it away, then the next person just puts it in landfill. So you may as well bin it yourself - it makes no difference.

If it is really good condition, way too good to bin, it can go to charity:
have a 'charity bag' always on the go - a plastic bag in the bottom of a wardrobe. If you find yourself holding something that you no long need, put it in the bag.