To be fascinated by tidy people

You don’t need to be ashamed, it’s your home. However, if you want to be more tidy I think these are the key things:

1. Rigorous declutter
2. Everything (and I mean everything) has its place
3. Everything goes back in its place as soon as it’s finished being used

If you follow that and make sure you don’t accumulate too much stuff, I don’t think you can go far wrong.

Agree with all the PP who say that the main difference is people who automatically tidy up as they go along or put things away once used vs. those who don't. It is harder with young kids - but always having a clear place for everything - and not too much stuff- helps.

A friend lodged with me as a temporary stop gap for a few months. I was fascinated by how much mess she managed to create and just how inefficient she was. When she came home from work, she just dumped stuff instead of taking an extra nanosecond to hang her bag/coat up. When she went to the kitchen to make another cup of tea, she didn't take the empty biscuit plate back at the same time (it was as if she didn't even see it). While the kettle was boiling, she didn't put sugar away after spooning into mug.

And so on .... soon added up to mayhem.

I’m a tidy person. Like others I can’t relax if I know there is mess to be sorted. It’s an ADHD thing for me I think.

I’ve moved house a few times in the last few years and each time you do end up getting rid of a lot of stuff. But I still have lots of stuff! I’m not minimalist by any stretch, but everything does have a place (pretty much).

If I walk up the stairs I take something up with me and put it away. Same if I walk downstairs then I take a basket of washing down or gather up anything which needs to move downstairs.

The kids (12 and 15) are made to tidy their rooms every 2-3 days. Which doesn’t take them long as it’s only a bit of surface / floor mess.

When I come home I put things away rather than leave them lying around.

I have a 5 minute tidy before I go up to bed (fluff cushions, put dishwasher on, wipe kitchen down, etc).

I clean up straight after dinner. Couldn’t relax in front of the TV if I knew there was a shit ton of clearing up to do.

The recycling gets taken out as soon as the bag is full so it’s never overflowing.

The hob gets wiped down every night so is never that dirty.

I sweep the kitchen most days.

Make the bed before I come down to breakfast.

It’s just habit for me. It doesn’t feel like I spend a lot of time tidying because it never gets that bad.

I’m often doing 2 or 3 (or more) jobs at the same time. Eg. I need to go upstairs to take some medication, say. I know there is a lightbulb gone so I’ll grab a new lightbulb. On my way past the shoe rack I see it’s getting a bit crowded so I gather up a couple of pairs of shoes to put away upstairs. I go up, take my pills, put the shoes away, change the lightbulb. As I’m changing the lightbulb I notice the flowers in my room are past their best so I take them down with the old lightbulb. I throw away the flowers and rinse out the vase and put it in the dishwasher. So what started as me needing some painkillers, ended up being three other small jobs. But I was going up and down the stairs anyway so they kinda merge into a less than ten minute activity rather than 4 separate jobs I need to do individually, IYSWIM.

I'm naturally tidy - everything has a place and we are lucky to have oodles of storage. I get stressed around mess, so I choose to keep on top of everything, but I never sit down abd relax!
I think it's important that children can invite their friends around with no notice, they shouldn't be embarrassed by their own home.

i am like the prev poster who said it all looks tidy until you open a cupboard or drawer...

I have recently reconnected with an old work friend who runs a home organisation company now. I found her work acc on insta first and still follow it as its fascinating ... since I started following her I have decluttered SO SO SO much

Literally today waiting for the kettle to boil I looked in the meds drawer and threw away 4 x ood creams, liquid antihistamine, a 5 year ood inhaler, put a coupleof craft bits in the right place ... she has given me that OOOPMH to get rid!

I can't pay the £120 an hour she charges but I'll take her advice for free LMAO

The other day I was in my walk in wardrobe in my undies when dh came upstairs, to avoid flashing him (my own insecuritie) i arranged my tops by string vest, vest, sleevless, short sleeve and long sleeve and made sure all jumpers are together. I suddenly seem to have SO much room

The biggest secret to being tidy, and I am not naturally tidy, is that everything has a place that is shut away, like a cupboard or wardrobe or drawer. I wonder if things don’t have a “place”, so they get dropped and not picked up.

When the places get full, either recycle, sell, or throw away, or put away for winter/summer.

I also have a routine for cleaning, and cloths and cleaning products in the rooms where they are needed, including a big roll of kitchen roll and Vanish carpet/upholstery spray in a drawer in the living room for spills.

We have a cleaner, but our house is able to be thoroughly cleaned by her as we keep it tidy and therefore she doesn’t spend a chunk of the cleaning time putting things away or moving them. We also keep on top of it between visits so she can spend her time doing a really thorough job which probably contributes to the “immaculate” look.

As others have said you feel overwhelmed and exhausted because you’re effectively behind all the time chasing your tail. You need to start every day at 100% tidy and sorted and be topping up regularly from 80% today back up when the kids are down rather than dropping to 10% tidy and feeling completely stressed!

Op. I am like you. Over the years I have learnt what is needed to be very clean and tidy and I can do it for short periods of time but it is against my fundamental nature of low energy. What is needed is lots of small habits sonever ever leave anything out after you have used it. Never leave tour bedroom in thr morning without having taken dirty clothes away, made the bed etc

Once you come home, the priority is to put everything you brought through the door away where it belongs ,.clean and tidy before sitting down at all.

Never go from one room to another without an empty hand, there is usually something that belongs in the room you are going to. Take it where it belongs or if it belongs upstairs then have a basket of things to go upstairs and the next time you go up, take.it with you and put everything in it away before doing the thing you went up.for . Whenever you are in a room, scan for what needs a wipe or what does not belong there and do it before sitting down or make sure you do iit the next time you are doing an actual clean . This is on top of the usual cleaning routine I have of 30mins of proper cleaning/ tidying a day

In effect it is constant small habits and not sitting down much, if at all. I know what to do and have done it in the past for a while. The house always looks great but I get more and more tired and more miserable so eventually I stop. Then the house gets more untidy (never terrible but just not show home ready all the time) and that makes me unhappy as well.

I have no idea what the answer is but if I could be a bit happier with a less tidy house I would definitely choose that. When I am keeping it very clean and tidy it feels both mentally and physically exhausting to me. I am not saying it is like that for everyone but it definitely is for me.

there's no harm, but some of us prefer a tidy home.

My home is lived-in, but there's no need to abandon toys once you finish playin with them. My kids can build forts with the sofa if they want, but when they are done, we put everything away properly.

I never go to bed in a messy house. It's not true that having kids means having a mess

Agree. People always claim their house is “messy but clean” but I’m yet to encounter one of these mythical homes. What it means is they can’t see the dirt and grime collecting because there’s stuff everywhere to hide it.

I like my house tidy- I let the kids make dens and play games and have toys out but always tidy it after. I can’t relax especially in the evening if it’s a mess so generally tidy downstairs when DH does bath and bed.
Have a place for everything. Don’t let stuff build up- we get in from swimming and all the stuff immediately goes into the wash or tidy in the bag ready for next week. Ditto home from holiday club/school- lunch boxes emptied and prepped for the next day and bags sorted- ✅. Instead of looking at the sofa that needs selling it constantly I’d take photos immediately and upload them onto fb marketplace or wherever. If I get an email from school I action asap.
I don’t feel (too!) overwhelmed as those constant little things let me keep on top of stuff!

Do you hang things up once you try them on?

Yes, always.

I have so many clothes out at all times!

So put them away.

I bet some of them have cleaners even if you’re not aware. One of my colleagues said she had a cleaner recently and I was actually surprised how many others then said they did too, some I know quite well but they’d never mentioned the cleaner before! I think some people don’t want to mention it in case they’re judged as either lazy or rich, but seems more common than I knew.

I think it's a nature not nurture thing. In my house my husband is really tidy and I am not - I'd like to be but struggle with it. Our oldest son is painfully tidy - he would know if his headphone lead had been moved an inch to the left sort of tidy.... then my other 3 kids scruffy as hell... my 13 year old girl would actually live in a bit if I let her!

Just a bit disappointed that after clicking on the thread and then putting my glasses on, the title was "tidy", not "tiny" 😂

I was just off to get the popcorn

My issue is linked to my ADHD and it took me till my late 50s to realise I am not a failure as a woman because I struggle with being tidy. I have lots of other strengths.

Now I always put 5 things away when I go in a room. The rest of the house if pretty OK now but the bedroom looks dreadful. I know I'll be calmer and happier when that's done too.

Yes agree with this. I'm very creative, and imaginative and it annoys me when people imply that a tidy space means you're boring and straight-laced. The reason I like it tidy is so I can move around and find things easily.

On of the most stressful things for me is when there's piles of stuff everywhere and trying to find or do something makes more mess because things fall over or get even more messed up. Or needing to put something down and you can't because there's no space. I hate that! Tidiness just makes me happier and less stressed.

I book dump runs and hire skips.. set a timer and clear out junk.. same with cleaning I set a timer for 30 do what I can and then relax. I’ve taught my boys the same. Otherwise I feel like I’m always cleaning, with the timer it just gives you focus.

Following as I want to know this too! I am just not tidy. Feel like I’m missing the tidy gene. I do feel embarrassed when people stop by and see my mess and frantically tidy if I know someone is coming but otherwise I just can’t seem to be able to do it/keep it up

Well her home isn't clean either by the sounds if it and to be honest no messy house is. Even if people try to tell you their house is messy but clean, they are kidding themselves.

I too am envious of people with show home houses. It does stress me out to see mess but it does always seem to be a struggle to keep up with it all. When you have kids it's soul destroying when you tidy and they come and mess things up. I have throws and cushions and they always seem to be strewn around by my son. All we can do is tidy as we go. Every night I make sure it's all in the right the place. I don't like coming down in the morning to washing up so it's all done in the evening. Once a week I do a whole house clean, listen to a podcast it makes it less tedious. Through the week i hoover and mop and try to tidy as I go. Laundry is done every day and I iron as I go while watching TV so it's not such a chore. Put shoes in the under stairs cupboard. My house is small so I don't have room for bikes in my hallway. Its still work in progress sometimes I Don have the energy but you do suffer for it like pp have said. You need to just do it as you go. I actually like it when I go to a friend's home and they are a little bit untidy or have some things out. It makes me feel more comfortable when they come to my home if it's not spick and span as they are less likely to judge.

I can’t enjoy sitting down if there is mess that needs to be cleared. I’d rather just get it done and then sit down somewhere clean and tidy than knowing it needs to be done.

I can’t enjoy sitting down if there is mess that needs to be cleared. I’d rather just get it done and then sit down somewhere clean and tidy than knowing it needs to be done.

I agree with PPs, the answer is to have places to put stuff, but also to put things back when you've used them. However, it is hard to do if there's too much stuff, not enough space, or messy people that you live with.

I'm a naturally tidy person who likes space and hates clutter and mess. I don't mind stuff, and have lots of stuff - eg a large sewing and craft stash and lots of books - but I can manage it because those things are all on shelves dedicated to them. But if I get something out to use, it has to go back. That's all tidying is - putting stuff back.

My DD is messy and although I've done everything I can to give her spaces to store things, she just won't put stuff back, just leaves it out. So her room's a mess and she wonders why.

Also, my kitchen's a mess because there isn't enough space and I need a massive ruthless declutter, but I'm busy so that's still in the "to do" queue. And my flat in general doesn't have enough storage - if I had a garage or shed, I could store more things there and the flat would have more space and be tidier.

But I know what the solution is. I just can't fully achieve it for these reasons, but you absolutely can if you sort out places to put things and then just put them back.