To be fascinated by tidy people

Nope. We both work . DH is out 7.30 -6 and I’m out 8-4.

I grew up in a filthy messy house and my ocd level tidiness and cleanliness is a reaction to that I think. I just put things away when I use them and tidy up after family members if they leave things out. If I cook I wash up and wipe down afterwards to reset the kitchen. I make the bed in the morning when I get up. Everything has a place. It’s second nature but it’s really just about respecting our living space and keeping it tidy and clean all the time.

This. If you don’t like clutter you just naturally esure it never gets too much. Things like never walking past things on the stairs, or just putting things away is a bit second nature.

if you want to learn it I’d suggest trying to never walk past something that’s not where it should be…

I'm very tidy by nature, I think. Although I did grow up with a DM who was very tidy, so maybe that's played a big part in it. DSis is also tidy. You'd never have thought she'd had 4 DC when visiting her house. Her adult DC are not tidy In their own homes though . No DC for me. My adult DN lives with me and she's not tidy. She's very respectful though, and isn't messy outside her room😂.

I don't leave things lying around. Everything is where it should be. I just do it automatically. Maybe tidy people do spend a little more time keeping up with things, but when your home is always tidy, it's not such an effort to continue in that way.

I can imagine it's not easy with children. There's actually something comforting about being in a home that's relaxed and a little untidy.

There’s a woman of TikTok who does a series called “how long does it actually take” and this is something I employ. Particularly with my kids, I ask them how long they think it’ll take them to do their chores, we set that on the oven timer and then we laugh when they beat that time by a ridiculous amount.

We also sometimes calculate what percentage of the day we actually spent on cleaning / tidying. It’s tiny.

I am a terrible procrastinator but the idea of if it takes less than three minutes to do it immediately, do a job while you are waiting for something to finish, use timers and delayed starts to do things whilst you are sleeping (washing / drying ).

the organised mum method is brilliant, it gives you some good structure.

Yes, I can imagine having a cleaner and knowing she is going to turn up to clean makes it easier to keep things tidy so that she can do a good job. I am never so good at doing a deep clean and tidy of my house as when I know I have visitors coming over! For me having a cleaner would probably make me more mindful of staying on top of things and, assuming she’s coming weekly, even if things slip for a few days they’re never going to slip for longer. When my ADHD or MH is bad or when works really hectic etc I can really struggle to stay on top of the housework and let it slide for weeks and then it’s so hard to get back on top of, I guess at least with a cleaner there’s always that deadline of her coming to put things back in order for.

I know this!!

Because I am an extremely messy person with extremely messy children who over the past year has started to figure it out. The neighbour was commenting on it the other day.

Your storage needs to be easier. Putting it away needs to be as low-effort as putting it down. Sounds ridiculously easy but blew my mind once I did that.

I have big plastic flower pots in the hallway for the kids to chuck their shoes in. The cupboard didn't work, those 5 inches were too much effort. I made hooks for all the schoolbags and then debris would accumulate under it. There is now a big shallow transparent box where they can just chuck out all their sport shoes/gloves/ when they are tidying their bag. I have a bin bag where I feed the pet because I used to just... not go to the bin in the room next door. On the floor. We have guests, I just throw that bag in the bin before I open the door. I put all the toys in same sized transparent cheap boxes. Put 2/3 in the loft. Then more. Now they manage to clean up. Don't give kids more toys than they can handle clutter. The toothbrushes ended up everywhere and in their rooms because they had to be on the sink, which apparently was too vague (!). Now I have a Etsy 3D printed toothbrush holder and it needs to be There. And so on.

I can now tidy so much easier! To a lower standard, sure, but tidy.

EDIT for clothes: I barely fold and rarely iron. I have boxes for underwear, socks, bras, pyjama's, undertops, tights. Just chuck it all in. I have a box for work tops that don't wrinkle. Next to it I have a small stack of work stuff that needs to be ironed before use. 95% of the time I grab something from the no wrinkle no harm box. Boxes I can do. Folding no can do.

I think it’s something to do with your wiring! I never used to see mess - I just lived among piles of things and it never bothered me. But in my 30s, something sort of clicked and I now get irritated by clutter. Tidying up isn’t really a chore now, it’s a means to get to a more peaceful non cluttered evening. Can’t really explain it other than to say if there’s clutter in my eyeline, I can’t really relax properly.

Having a cleaner also makes you tidy up (or keep things tidy) as otherwise they come but they can’t do their job and so it’s a waste of money.

I never used to bother cleaning up after DC when they played because my thinking was "They will just get everything out again anyway and I don't mind" - I can genuinely relax with toys all over the floor, I don't care. I just ignore it, if my focus is on the TV/my computer/my book etc it doesn't matter to me if it's messy.

However, one day as a bit of a mini project, I went through all their toys and properly consolidated them into sets, separated out sets which don't work if one bit is missing, (like board games are in boxes) and got rid of random stragglers that didn't belong to anything or were broken or outgrown or didn't work properly or were the wrong scale for the rest of the things or were the bit they constantly threw aside to get to the rest of it.

What surprised me was it literally instantly became much easier to tidy, and they also played with stuff much more and for longer, rather than only ever looking for the current favourite (usually whatever was newest) or whining for screen time.

I knew that it was frustrating that everything was mixed up, but I hadn't really noticed exactly what was happening as a result of this. What I hadn't realised was previously they would be looking for a specific part and in order to find it, they'd throw everything all over the floor and tip over boxes and stuff because they couldn't see what was in them. They don't do this any more. They just get the box of stuff they want and play with that, and if something is missing, it's fairly easy to look through other likely boxes and it usually turns up. The other thing I hadn't really noticed was happening was that they would also only ever be able to find part of any set before they got bored of looking, so they couldn't play with it properly, and that meant they would get bored with it really quickly and move on.

Once everything was sorted into sets with picture labels, they can see what they have and choose to get out the toy animals, or the cars, or the lego. When they have moved on from the cars to the lego, it's really obvious because there is a pile of cars, and a pile of lego - rather than one large, overwhelming pile containing various mixed toys. So then I can either tidy them up myself, which takes a couple of minutes because it's just cars in that pile, or I can get them to do it if I feel like they're in a cooperative mood and I'm happy to interrupt them.

Time yourself doing jobs. Example folding and tidying away the clean washing takes 7min, so next time you are tempted to put it off “until later” remind yourself “it’s only xxx min” and you are more inclined to just get things done.

I think there's probably only been 2-3 occasions over the years where I've needed to replace things I've thrown out.

Ah, she sounds like a top lass! I can identify with her hoover excitement 😉

I have a walk in wardrobe and there is mess but it's all clothes and it's all in there.

I have many boxes and pots around the house that are for odd bits that get sorted periodically.

I WFH so have built tidying and cleaning into my routine. As a result I do have a very neat house and I prefer this as I cannot really relax in mess. Dishes may not be done and that will be the worst of things.

I let one room at a time get messed up during school holidays and vow to tidy it when I know I will have chance. I like to take a picture of the room before and after. These pictures motivate me to do the bigger cleans next time.

I pay someone to do a deep clean once a month.

I only have one adult in the house and children are not close in age so it never gets to the state you describe. If it did I would have a weekly housekeeper/cleaner and consider this a worthwhile cost as it would be for my mental health.

My parents were very clean and tidy so I never liked to exist in mess. I'm not sure it's any good to grow up among mess?

Q for the ones advising to de-clutter: don’t you end up buying new items that you previously owned? Or do you accept that out of say 10 items you get rid off, you might end up re-buying 1 but the cost is worth it for living in a tidier home?

Yes, absolutely. I did them because they wouldn't have been done otherwise.

This is it. They prioritise tidyness over others things. It’s like anything in life it’s priorities, but that’s ok that you prioritise something different. I know someone when you talk about priorities it can sound a bit aggressive, but I just mean they chose to put cleaning and tidying above other ‘stuff’.

@FleurDeFleur @tumblingdowntherabbithole I mean it as a term of endearment I love her very much even more now she cleans my house.

Declutter!!! You don’t need half the amount of stuff you have. The less crap there is around, the less mess there will be. Get rid of clothes that don’t fit, books you don’t read, random paperwork, pens that don’t work. All that random shit builds up!

Declutter!!! You don’t need half the amount of stuff you have. The less crap there is around, the less mess there will be. Get rid of clothes that don’t fit, books you don’t read, random paperwork, pens that don’t work. All that random shit builds up!

Ah, don't be mean. People get joy from all sorts of things.

She's just different to you. No need to use that language about her.

I spent a lot of Sunday on the couch and most evenings to be honest. I can do things very fast because my house is clean, tidy and organised. It’s actually time saving to be this way.

Same - I'm actually quite a lazy person, haha.

My mum is a genuine freak - she loves to clean. Loves to clean to the point that she asked me and my siblings to chip in and get her a fancy hoover for Christmas. I did get her something else as well, but she hardly gave it a look when she saw we had got her the hoover. Was a pro cleaner for years until she retired. When she retired she started going a bit mad and doing all sorts with the house so now I employ her for three hours a week on a Thursday to clean mine. I despised doing it to be honest. I don’t mind clutter at all and don’t get the accomplishment and joy my mum seems to get from it. I think she’s a proper weirdo.

i just can’t relax until everything is put away and house sorted. Was the same when kids were tiny too - I think it’s just doing it regularly - takes me 30 mins every morning to get everything in order, then a big clean (proper hoover, not handheld - shelves, shower tray plug etc) on my day off. Once you get into a rhythm it’s much easier and less overwhelming.