To be fascinated by tidy people

But it does take extra (immediate) time to open a letter, put the envelope in the recycling, walk to another room, find the right folder, punch holes in the letter, file the letter in the right section and put the folder back on the shelf vs. putting the letter back in the envelope and placing it on the table beside me to deal with later.

Putting a cup on the coffee table next to me vs. walking to the kitchen - unless your kitchen and living room are centimetres apart of course taking it to the kitchen takes more (immediate) effort. Same with back of the chair or whatever. To you taking a cardigan upstairs then sex your take it off is second nature/"not tidying". To untidy people it's tidying the cardigan up straight away vs. placing it on the chair to tidy up later. Both are tidying, but in the second scenario you're taking everything that's accumulated upstairs at once. In the first you're taking up a cardigan, then a few hours later a teddy bear that's wandered downstairs, then some dry laundry (I'm just guessing at items here - I live in a flat so I don't have an upstairs 😅).

Coat on a rack, towel back on the hook, toothbrush in the holder, deodorant back in the bathroom cupboard actually are things I do straight away because the coat rack is next to the door where I take off my coat so it would actually be more effort to take the coat to a chair, similarly the towel hook, toothbrush holder and cupboard are right there so of course I'm not going to randomly take those items out of the bathroom and place them somewhere else. My daughter's room is not next to the front door so whatever toy she took to nursery ends up in the living room until I tidy it away later along with the ones I didn't have time to deal with earlier.

This thread is genuinely fascinating, I've been really enjoying reading through everyone's perspectives. Reflecting on the comments so far, it seems clear that people fall into different camps: some are naturally tidy, others less so; some feel stressed by clutter, while others barely notice it. For some, messiness might be linked to ADHD, and for others, it’s simply a personal style. Ultimately, we’re all just human, unique in how we function, what we value, and how we navigate our spaces. This is just one more example of the beautiful diversity in how we live our lives.

Tidy House tidy mind for me. I can’t relax if it’s messy to be honest so it does actually impact my mental health. My wife is not naturally tidy sadly for me.

eta - I also have a ‘if current btowngirl doesn’t want to do it, future btowngirl definitely won’t’ attitude towards just getting stuff done.

It also takes additional time looking for lost items when things are not in their place. Leaving you even less time to tidy the tip you’ve made.

So true. While DH is in hospital I have tidied his office and found loads of things he has misplaced because he just puts things down in random places then spends ages and ages and ages looking for them.

No. It takes no extra time to put a coat on a peg, shoes on a rack, toothbrush back in a pot, towel on a rail, papers in a drawer etc etc than it takes to put them on a floor, back of a chair, dumped on a bed etc. But if DOES take additional time to pick them up off the floor, back of the chair etc and THEN eventually put them in the corrrect space.

It also takes additional time looking for lost items when things are not in their place. Leaving you even less time to tidy the tip you’ve made.

The only things your scenario applies to is washing up, cleaning crumbs and spills and making beds. Everything else definitely takes more time if you dump stuff in the ‘wrong’ place initially.

You’re super wound up about this but I just imagine you must be like Pig Pen from the Snoopy cartoons, just wandering around with a permanent dust pile around you creating mess with every step you take.

Honestly what the fuck are you doing all day long to create mess that needs constant tidying? It’s madness. Stop rampaging about causing havoc and you’ll have less to tidy.

I thought people would respond like this. What is tidying if not putting things back in their respective places? It doesn’t matter if you tidy them away in bursts when there’s “messes” everywhere, or whether you do it immediately after using any item so that “messes” seem never to accrue; it’s all tidying.

And it’s definitely not “a few times a day.” Like I said, it’s constantly, all day long. My day consists of more than just making breakfast, sitting and getting up from the sofa, and taking my own shoes and jacket off. I’m a functional adult who cares for herself and her family while we live together in the same house.

Like I said, to “tidy people,” cleaning “as you go” doesn’t feel like work at all, because you do it habitually. That doesn’t mean you’re some magical being who doesn’t generate laundry, use the bathroom, perform hygienic care on yourself and your children, create dishes and crumbs when you eat, entertain yourself when home, taking items in and out of your house as needed, etc. etc. etc. such that you do “less work” to keep your house tidy. It just means you don’t even think about it. “Untidy people” have the same amount of work; it just requires vigilance and effort to get and keep their houses at the same standard of tidiness.

”Oh, what are people doing that they have to mow their lawns every week? I have a magical lawn that I don’t even have to maintain… What’s that? No, silly, doing 1/7th of the lawn every day isn’t ‘mowing!’ That’s just ‘trimming,’ you see. It only takes 3 minutes.”

-_-

Maybe she will just be one of life’s messy people.

No worries. My fault for butting in 😅

Sorry, I mistook you for the OP, since my comments were aimed at them.

I don't live in London - or even in the UK actually 😅.

The original story wasn't mine. I was just giving one reason kids might not hang their own coat. Yes, I do remind her about the shoe rack. We've at least progressed from claiming she "can't" take her own shoes off 😅. She used to get in trouble for not helping clean up at nursery as well so at least she's consistent and it's not just me that has to tell her 10 times that shoes belong on the shoe rack. (She will tidy toys away but only if someone does it with her and we make a game of it. The last time I told her to put her crayons away because dinner was nearly ready she deliberately drew on the floor instead - which resulted in me tidying up the crayons myself, putting them out of her reach and making her clean the floor while still trying to finish cooking.)

try a shoe dryer. We have one where the shoes live- it’s like a hairdresser for your shoes. Also can be used to pre warm boots or shoes in winter.

No airing cupboard. It's a tiny house.

They are drying. Downstairs. In wet weather there's a rotation of trainers for work and running.
Over my dead body are my running trainers, especially trails, going in my room. Shoes off household.

Once they are dry? Stuff the trainers with newspaper and use a car cleaning cloth to dry off the outsides and they’ll soon be dry and put away. Also, they aren’t constantly wet and muddy, we’ve had weeks of dry weather? I get that you wouldn’t want to put things away until they’ve dried, but all the non-wet and muddy things can be put away. Do you have an airing cupboard or somewhere that could speed up drying?

rinse them and dry them first. I do that no matter where they go tbh.

I can't have muddy and wet trainers and coats in my room. I'd have mould 🤢.

Get a second row of pegs at her height, we did this in our downstairs cupboard until the kids were tall enough to reach. Now their bags go on bottom pegs and coats on top pegs.

Put them in the bottom of your wardrobe, an under bed storage drawer or an over door hanging shoe storage on tne back of your bedroom door.

one pair of shoes per person downstairs, everything else away.

Oh no. The perils of living in London (my sis lives in Tottenham). If she moved here (Newcastle), she could afford an absolute mansion. I got a 100m2, 2 bed terrace for £80k, that cost £10k (and lots of hard work from me) to do up (almost finished and ready to sell for £20-30k profit). Kallax from ikea is a lifesaver for storage, especially the pegboard door cupboard inserts that you can attach additional storage stuff on the outside of.

I agree. Parents often think young toddlers and children can’t do things for themselves. But they do it at nursery and at school. Yes, family life can be hectic, but small changes to your home encourage independence. My son puts his shoes in the shoe cubbies in our entranceway and his coat on his own hook which we mounted lower than ours for him. He has a step stool in the kitchen to put his dishes in the sink and likes to help wash up.

If you give children too much that they can’t cope with, they obviously won’t cope. I think too many toys is definitely overwhelming for children. Not only can’t they tidy them up at the end of the day or before heading out in the morning, they often can’t even play easily with them as it’s just so overwhelming.

A clear tidy home encourages children to clear up after themselves. Our systems are so obvious and the house so clear of clutter that my child naturally does things to help tidy. If he ever forgot to tuck his shoes away, or dropped his coat down somewhere, a quick “shoes away” or “your coat”, are enough to nudge him.

We all need to relax and be scruffy in our own homes. School and work are different. But if your home is clear of clutter then keeping it tidy is easy and inevitable. For children and adults alike.

I get that but I assume people are asking on this thread as they are either unhappy with messy houses or want to see from that tidy perspective. I am just saying what I do. And if my house was in chaos- I would take a week off work and declutter and blitz it- but not everyone would I understand that.

The thing is, you and all the other very tidy people are looking at it from the point of view of your home.

Your home is tidy and organised and you have systems in place for dealing with items quickly and efficiently. Point 0, if you will.

Those who arent naturally tidy, dont have those systems, those drawers with space ready to accept new things that you've brought home, or neat and tidy wardrobes and toy boxes to just pop toys away neatly when finished.

They have to get to that point on top of tidying as they go along.

I'm somewhere in the middle. I tidy as I go mostly and my children are older now. But i have a small house and I childmind from home so it can qucikly descend in to crisis if something goes off plan.

It is not a criticism I am saying how I would deal with the story you mentioned. Can you put some kiddie steps so she can reach the coat hook, mention the shoes are not on the shoe rack to her when she does this? I hate the random nonsense you get from nursey and schools- I always deal with it there and then otherwise it would get out of control- just taking that few mins when you get home might be useful for you. Or do it whilst the water boils for diner etc- as it will probably get worse as you daughter gets older and there is more stuff and clubs to organise- things like selling sport socks for her sport teams etc. I like a tidy house like some of the PP so I would not sit down in the evening until these things were done.