To be fascinated by tidy people

I'm extremely tidy and I do spend a lot of my evenings cleaning up. I am slowly getting better at sitting down to relax, esp if the kids are watching a film or something but I find it hard to switch off.
I feel calmer when everything is spotless.

This
How do clothes get all over the hallway? Outer wear off and on the hook in the hall. Shoes off and put in their place( cupboard under stairs). Keys in key draw, bag hung up.

I’m a tidy person as I like my home to look nice, and hate it when it’s messy. We have two late teens now but I was like this when they were little. I always followed the one touch rule, but didn’t know it existed as I just thought this was normal. My DS is similar to me, but we’re up against a DH who has hoarding tendencies and DD who just doesn’t notice mess, so I probably end up tidying a bit more than I need to!

My sister is another level though - a real tidy/clean freak, and her house looks and smells like a show home. She doesn’t have children but she also admits to finding cleaning relaxing.

I have a friend who’s very messy but cleans way more than me though - she just has a lot of clutter that she doesn’t seem to notice.

But that's the point of the post... clean the sink while the children are in the bath... you are in the same room.
Sort those clothes from the hallway if you are sitting with them while they go to sleep.
Eat your own lunch while they eat theirs - its good for them to see you eating different things, and creates extra free time for you while they nap. They can sit in their highchairs while you prep lunches. Waiting is a good skill. I used play rhymes or stories while I prepped/served meals, and I always ate with the children, it saved so much time.
Maybe not the 1 year old but almost 3 years can put stuff in dishwasher and tidy away their toys.

If you make cleaning up part of everyday daily life activities it just happens more naturally, rather than a big clean up at Nighttime.

Life is too short to.live permanently surrounded in clutter and mess.
It would make me ill.

I don't think messy people get it-I have plenty of downtime because I'm tidy.
Before I.put the hot water on my teabag the tea is back in the cupboard, there is no hours of tidying
That's the point
Shoes off and in the shoe tidy
Coat off and on the hook
Today
Out for a picnic, bag into kitchen, stuff in the bin, ice blocks back in the freezer, bag wiped and put away, it takes about 2 minutes

I just do things there and then
Everything runs smoothly , DH cooked, dishes straight in the dishwasher and we had a lovely relaxing evening .
My parents live in a midden and it's horrible

Put on a tidy up song’ with the kids. We do this at school and it works a treat. They have to put everything they had out away by the end of the song. If they do they get a point / marbles in a jar or whatever. When the jar is full they can choose a treat.

Do little bits throughout the day so you are tidying away and cleaning up after each activity. Do it very quickly (even if its not perfect if you do it often it will get cleaner each time), the children will get used to this being part of life and can even help. It keeps them occupied while you clean up. Even toddlers can put their plates in dishwasher, tidy up their toys, sort socks, take stuff out of bags etc.

I try to only do one dishwasher load each day. I empty it last thing at night or first thing before breakfast (actually my DS10 has been doing it over the summer) so we can fill it all day - dirty dishes never left out waiting.
When kids were small they always had to tidy away toys before dinner. Now they are older i have a pain in my face constantly telling everyone to put stuff away, put it back, pick it up. So maybe that's the trick - be relentless and be quick.

I am fascinated by messy people. For me if I have something out, I put it away. Job done. For a messy person, they leave it out and then tell themselves over and over that they need to put it away. They have to work around the mess, they have to look at it. It becomes a big job when it would've been so much simpler to just clean as you go.

When are you at your most energetic, tidy around then.

I'm naturally someone who tidies, I hate mess and if I leave something messy it's all I can see so just don't.

It sounds stupid but things like shredding post immediately helps. Don't put any down ever deal with it as if happens.

This may be just me, but I also do not have bins inside my house, any little bit of rubbish I put into the bins outside, it can,be a pain as it does mean I am constantly washing my hands but my house doesn't have any duplication of bins.

We have 5 daughters, who are getting older now but there was a time we had 5 under 6 and a nanny in the house. That was my most challenging time. But I also didn't use things like stair gates and high chairs either. The girls say on booster seats at the table with us, so zero additional clutter and easy to keep clean.

Bedrooms are easy, don't over buy for the storage space you have and it sounds an effort but weekly or biweekly check if any clothes are grown out of or aren't being worn and need to go. Same with shoes, we have the shoes we need daily out and nothing else no shoe racks that just encourages more shoes to appear. I just have a tray inside the cupboard that shows are pit on. It's the right size for only necessary shoes.

If you are cooking, don't just sit or watch something happen use the time on the kitchen to do something, sort a cupboard or wipe something down.

The biggest one is so not have a day where you clean, clean as you see something needs doing waiting for 1 day per week to do something is nuts, it means that some of the days will be dirty or messy. Same if you have a cleaner. My cleaner doesn't clean the weeks mess she does longer term cleaning such as kitchen cupboards or larder well inside any storage area inside the house she cleans and tidies again. Every week she has a routine of which to do.

That's what I do anyway, if you come any time or any day the house will look the same other than whatever is being used at that moment

A friend is sooo tidy and cleans all the time. She still has a cleaner one morning a week who makes everything absolutely perfect. Little things that give it that polished look.

Well this is very different and understandable. If you literally live with a disorder that makes it very hard to keep a tidy home, that’s a whole different ballgame.

My cleaner is ruthless. She tells me to chuck stuff out 😂.

It doesn't stay in your system very long, so if you don't like the side effects it's no big deal to come off them again, plus there are a couple of different kinds they can try, and they only start you on a tiny dose anyway. Personally I find the side effects very mild for the amount that they help. Headaches when I was changing a dose, which went away when I was used to it, lack of appetite which I've never had anyway, but I now have the willpower/organisation to persuade myself to eat a proper lunch rather than exist on coffee and biscuits for days. One type did give me increased anxiety but the other type doesn't, it actually helps me stay a bit more in control of my emotions rather than them running away with me all the time. It was a bit of a process finding the right medication and the right dose but 100% worth it IMO. The one consistent benefit I had on all of them was that I am no longer exhausted all the time. I still get tired and overwhelmed on busy days, but it's not all day every day.

TBH it takes a long time to get through the waiting lists in the UK at the moment, so no harm in finding out about it. Diagnosis definitely changed my life though, even though I didn't start medication until later on. Having someone confirm no, you're not broken or imagining things, the things you're struggling with are for a reason was huge. Then I did a massive amount of reading/watching videos about it (lots of good stuff on Russell Barkley's channel although it is a bit dry, or How To ADHD is a bit more watchable and good quality). I found out I can focus on podcasts IF I have something to focus my hands and eyes on, so it's a good thing to combine with cleaning, but not decluttering/tidying/anything which requires decision making, and I couldn't have listened to podcasts around the DC when they were 0 and 3, but I do listen any time I walk anywhere without them.

The thing that helped me turn things around was the picking one thing to improve at a time, rather than constantly trying half heartedly to "try harder" or "do better" but never making any progress because I was always exhausted, there were too many things to solve at once and my efforts weren't coordinated in any meaningful way. I did this before starting medication and it helped even then, but was more effective to make changes after medication.

I seem to have turned into a tidy person but at the moment I live in the equivalent of a shoe box and if it's messy it's unbearable. In a previous life I did love my clutter, books etc. I just came on to post that one of my oldest friends is the most tidy person I know, I have never come across anyone else like it. Even with 3 children in a cramped 3 bedroom cottage there was never ANYTHING out of place. And I stayed over several days, over several years / decades, so it wasn't performative. I literally do not know how she does it. Even now, with 5 grandchildren of assorted ages, her little house is perfectly 'curated'. She has amazing taste in decor, and lots of frankly very fun funky things on the walls too. NO bin in the kitchen, she takes any rubbish straight outside to the big bins. There isn't even a tea towel lying around. It's really quite intimidating. When I ask her she does a sort of airy fairy wave that explains nothing, I think she is from a different planet. (I love her dearly)

The floors and sofa/furniture in our house just don’t look like theirs

Why? What is different?

What about clothes in bedroom? Do you hang things up once you try them on?

What do you mean by trying them on @tangerinemagic ?

I don't take clothes out of my wardobe to try on. I just wear them. I will wear things like jeans and jumpers more than once, so they will go on the chair rather than back in the wardrobe, but they don't pile up.

All kods are full on though and not all parents are untidy.

When I come in, I always think there's time to put stuff away as I could have been delayed getting home, so see it as being early and using the 'extra time' to tidy.

Same as if back from holiday, everything away, dirty stuff in the laundry basket, shower then relax.

Once you get into a habit it's easier.

DSis is the opposite and will have suitcase from holiday unpacked for a whole week.

My dad is tidy, mum isn't, so maybe it's from that.

I am naturally quite tidy and I hate clutter - but your comments about never sitting down resonated, because I don’t really! I live by myself (partner works away) - got home this evening at 6:30, unloaded the dishwasher, took the recycling out, cleaned the windowsills, vacuumed all upstairs, cleaned my dressing table and built a shoe storage. I don’t stop until things are done! I have a schedule for daily/weekly/monthly tasks I stick to mostly but there is always something to do to keep
on top of things.

Things I do to keep the house tidy:

Set a 15 minute timer every evening and tidy/clean like a mad person. Then reward yourself with tv!

Whilst cooking/waiting for things to microwave always rush around and tidy up as much as possible.

Hoover one room a day.

Empty the car after every journey

Load of washing each morning

Reset the playroom/kitchen/ living room every night before I go to bed. Always always put the dishwasher on at night.

Have limited toys available at a time - have them on rotation and some stored in attic when not in use.

Every time I take something out of the fridge to use I look to see if there's one thing I need to throw.

Keep a set of cleaning stuff in every bathroom. Keep a sponge in your shower and clean it whilst waiting for conditioner.

Essentially I just do little and often!

after I’ve tidied their lunch and big ticket items and eaten myself

Why don't you et lunch with your children?

My house is very tidy and always “guest ready”. That is just how we naturally live. I grew up in a messy house so when I got my own place I knew I didn’t want to live like that or have my children embarrassed to bring school friends over.

We don’t spend a lot of time cleaning, tidying and have lots of time to sit down, because it never takes that long as it’s not a big job, we just tidy as we go and do a clean on Wednesday and Saturday.

Organisation and being clutter free is key. Everything has a place and gets put back there straight after use.

I do find setting a timer and doing 15 minutes in a room helpful. Anyone can do 15 minutes before sitting down. I don't think to do it though a lot of the time, it just isn't on my radar!

I am here for the replies as I am not naturally tidy either.

However I am curious about the clothes comment. I have clothes out that I might wear again, a couple of pairs of jeans, hoddies, pjs but why do you keep 'trying things on'? Mostly I just dress and go and if I do try stuff on for a rare night out, yes it gets hung straight back up and put away.

I don't consider myself necessarily tidy, but after a few comments. I guess I am.

If you just put everything back once you've stopped using it, everything remains tidy. It is juat easier and less time consuming. Yes, there are times when I just let it go and then pick up again. My brother and SIL are not tidy, them spending an entire saturday cleaning sounds fuckton more work. Also once you get the "oh I need to do x" if you do it immediately then it is not part of your mental load.