To be fascinated by tidy people

Yeah the first example I get, my dd has a guitar that she doesn’t play anymore. I could sell it I suppose. The second example I don’t get, if it’s worth keeping I won’t replace it, if it needs replacing then it gets chucked!!

Yes this is the answer. Not too much stuff and everything belongs somewhere

Even the "random stuff" has an allocated drawer, so I know that the 3D cinema glasses, screwdriver, headtorch and fairy lights will all be in there

This morning I’ve been up and made two lunches, one for me and one for dd. My DP made scrambled eggs (me and dd had overnight oats). I decided I wasn’t feeling the jumper I was wearing so I changed (I hung back up the first jumper and picked a cardy. The kitchen is spotless…imo…see pic 😅

I don't constantly think about it that's the point, it's done in seconds

Again the messy people are focusing on only one part of the task.
When DH and I first got married he would make a sandwich
Bread left open, bread board , crumbs, cheese, pickle open, knife,butter left out
It would sit there all day
After asking him nicely to stop it, and he didnt,we discussed it rowedand he was solely focused on eating the sandwich
He was astonished that I cleared up then ate , I was astonished that he would leave everything out-all day.

He clears up straight away now
Life is so much easier
There isn't hours of thinking about and doing jobs because it's done in seconds.

Imagine 4 people all cooking/ making lunch and they leave everything out -looks like a bomb has gone off- so depressing
Now imagine simply putting everything away as you use it-literally a minute tops to put the bread , butter, cheese back, the knife in the dishwasher and wipe.

Spot on!

It only became unwanted after a time - hobby stuff from years ago that he’s moved on from, or things we’ve replaced but the original is “worth keeping as I have the box and we could sell it…” type of thing.

We manage to keep a tidy house despite all this, but it can be a source of deep for me frustration sometimes!

Exactly this. I get that’s how tidy people are but I can’t imagine constantly thinking about what needs to be tidied. Every time I leave a room, when I’m boiling a kettle I need to clear up, no sitting down until it’s all tidy.

I can’t think about that stuff all day long and be constantly tidying.

This - tie jobs in with stuff you already do

When wiping the kids hands after food use the same cloth/baby wipe to give the high chair a quick wipe over.

It may not get everything and it may still need a proper spray and clean later but it will get the worst off and stop any food from sticking - making the ‘proper’ clean later much easier and quicker.

Exactly this. It’s so easy.

I used to be very messy and im now much tidier the differences are:

• I moved house and took the opportunity to declutter, I only took about 25% of our stuff with us.
• I turned our under the stairs cupboard into a closet for our clothes. Sometimes I do just shov the clothes in there and shut the door.
• little and often, at one point, id do 10mins quick blitz per room per hour.
• baskets and storage
• doing it in stages, bit by bit means that after dinner ill tidy up the dinner mess and the house is done so I have all evening to relax.

My house is mostly visitor ready most of the time. It soothes my brain and I feel much better. Have you tried body doubling? Me and my sister sometimes do a big sort out/clean of our houses and will send messages and photos/videos to eachother of how its looking which helps motivation.

You also sometimes have to change the way you do things to what suits/benefits you rather than what you think you should be doing.

Also there is halfway options, so for example, my daughter eats in her room due to personal reasons and has SEN she wouldnt always bring stuff down. So I put a smart plastic tub by her room for the plates to go and then id take it down every other day to wash. Its not the perfect solution as ideally id like stuff to be brought down straight away but its a midway option that works.

Downstairs is always tidy/clean where as upstairs theres a bit more mess.

But how to you get this unwanted “stuff” in the first place? That’s the real question!

I would worry less about selling stuff and just get shot of the prams you don’t need and be a bit more ruthless with stuff you dont need. The secret is not to keep loads of stuff. Freecycle, charity shop or recycling centre.

Exactly this. I feel miserable surrounded by clutter and relaxed and peaceful in a clean and tidy environment. Also, not having huge amounts of stuff helps. We're not minimalist but don't have 30 white t-shirt and 53 pairs of shoes (I have half a 180cm wardrobe and 2 drawers).

I am tidy and always have been even when the children were small. Now my daughters are adults with families themselves they are also tidy so I think they must have liked the order that a tidy house brings. Clutter and mess stress me out.

I have storage for everything so I know where to find stuff and I put things away after using. My husband is less tidy but I will put his stuff in his hobby room or garage which are only places I don’t tidy. If going upstairs I will take stuff with me if it needs putting away and spend 30 minutes or so cleaning or tidying a day so just build it in and do a different room each day.

I cant't relax with mess in the house and naturally like to be busy so I just make an effort to put everything back in its place once used. We also don't have loads of stuff we don't need as loads of clutter stresses me out. We go to the tip and charity shop a lot to stay on top of everything.

I feel for you OP, I'm an untidy person. I leave books lying around in odd places letters that need attention sit waiting over there, I pick up things from one place, leave them randomly somewhere then move other stuff around trying to locate whatever it is. I live alone so don't really notice it. My sister is completely the opposite, she's like Mary Poppins. Out of place items quiver in fear and try to rearrange themselves neatly when she visits. Half an hour in my house and any washing up will be dried and put away instead of just left draining by the sink, items put back on shelves or put into cupboards, towels hung neatly and surfaces cleared. Everything will look a lot more spruce. She doesnt make a fuss about it or try to make me feel guilty, she's lived for 45 years with an ex-naval man and has absorbed his ultra tidiness, she can't feel at ease in untidiness. It always surprises me; it's second nature to her. I wish I could absorb some of it but no, I fail, my slack habits remain with me. I think one of us would kill the other if we had to spend more than a week together in the same place though😅

No me neither.

Sure.

I can't get too excited about what other people do with their bed sheets tbh!

Unless you're planning on getting into their bed I wouldn't worry yourself one way or the other.

There’s a difference between unmade and left in a jumble and covers folded back neatly to air. One is purposeful and the other is lazy

You’re taking a noble route, much like my DH, but tbh it drives me nuts - he takes so long to get round to selling that unwanted stuff can sit around for ages.

A philosophy I also follow tbh!

People just use that excuse to justify being untidy or lazy. They just don't want to tidy up as they go along.

I don't spend hours each day tidying because I do it as I go along.

Oh gawd - this belongs with what’s the point in making your bed if you’re going to get in it at the end of the day.

I’m the same. I can’t even understand things just being plonked all over the place. There are such easy solutions for this. Even my 4 year old knows how to put his coat and bag on a peg, tuck his shoes in the shoe rack when he gets home, put his toys back where they came from at the end of the day, put his dirty clothes in the washing basket before he gets in the bath etc.

It boggles my mind that people think this is hard work and that messy people are the ones with more time on their hands. At best, they have the same amount of time if they never bother to sort it… but they live surrounded by mess and clutter.

I had a colleague who used to say things like 'life's too short to tidy' and claim that her house was very clean but just untidy.

It really wasn't clean. It was so untidy, it wasn't possible to properly clean it.