To be fascinated by tidy people

@BertieBotts

• things my children have grown out of - pass it on, sell on facebook if it’s worth or charity bag
• something I bought that broke or was totally useless - bin
• McDonalds' toys or party bag junk that nobody really wanted in the first place - bin or charity,
• something which has been replaced but we haven't got around to getting rid of the old version - just get rid of it
• things which are worn out, things which I've got bored of (e.g. a book I've read but wouldn't re-read/don't want to keep) - charity bag
• food which was bought enthusiastically but has sat in the cupboard for months being passed by - food bank if suitable if not bin
• something I bought the wrong version of but it wasn't worth the hassle to return it - facebook sell if it’s worth the return or charity
• spare shelves or other bits of IKEA furniture that we might need later, stuff like that - facebook pass it on site you can rebuy it later

My house is small for us. I can’t really afford to move and stay in the same area, well we potentially could but couldn’t do holiday so won’t move. I can’t buy more space but I can make more space. The money went when you bought the item, from the moment you bought it was going to end up in landfill.

Clutter causes a cortisol spike in many women, not all but it does for me. Keeping on top of clutter is looking after my mental health and as I get older I value my health more.

For charity donations I use a conpany called Anglo, yes it’s a company who donates a set amount to charity but honestly I just want the stuff out my house and it helps the economy and a charity gets a donations that’s a positive.

Try doing 30 mins of decluttering a week. It has really improved my life.

put a timer, and spend 5 to 10minutes once a day. It is boring, but it's even more boring to think about it, so might as well get it out of the way.

START with a massive clear-out - check the organised mum and her "bootcamps". First you need to put the house in order.

then once it's done, maintain it - and yes, one in one out for example.

*totally useless, McDonalds' toys, party bag toys"
the real tat: bin immediately.
one box, fill with what could actually be used - anything else in the bin. When they are little enough, they like to rummage once in awhile and play with them.
Party on a Saturday, bin by Monday morning latest.

omething which has been replaced but we haven't got around to getting rid of the old version
then spend the time you wrote that post to actually do something about it (I mean it kindly, but not sure my tone translates well, sorry)

things which are worn out, things which I've got bored of (e.g. a book I've read but wouldn't re-read/don't want to keep
get rid?

something I bought the wrong version of but it wasn't worth the hassle to return it
sell?

Someone "kindly" gifts you a set of 4 new mugs? Do you prefer them or you prefer you existing one? Give or sell 4 mugs. You don't need 50 mugs in the cupboard unless 50 people live in your house, which is unlikely.

Be ruthless. There are only 7 days in a week, WHEN will you ever wear each of the 50 jumpers that are cluttering your wardrobe...

I am definitely not naturally tidy and as far as I can tell it really is a case of never sitting down. All the people saying "clean as you go" - it sounds sensible in principle but it's almost like I have a mental block. So I see a letter on the table. Okay, I should take that to the room where it belongs. But then if I just put it on the desk there all I've done is move the clutter, so I need to punch holes in the paper, find the right folder and file it away. It would probably only take a minute but all I see is extra work. And once I've done that there'll be something else that I can "just quickly" do: the dishwasher will have finished, or my daughter has finished the snack that was keeping her occupied while I tidied away the letter, which means crumbs need sweeping (even though I hoovered after work before picking her up from nursery). Then she needs a nappy change and afterwards her bin bag is full, so that goes in the big bin, which then needs to be emptied and taken down. Then two new bin bags to be put in... theoretically all short tasks but now it's been half an hour since I saw the stupid letter on the table and I didn't even get to sit down for 1 minute while my daughter ate her snack.

I have childhood memories of my mum cleaning on a Saturday morning, complaining about us being in the way - making us lift our feet so she could hoover, dusting the TV while we were trying to watch Saturday morning cartoons. It all seemed very stressful! My sister and I had the job of cleaning the kitchen after dinner - dishes washed, dried and put away, sides and hob wiped, flood swept. If my step dad was home he would check our work and go mad if it wasn't done properly. To this day I hate washing dishes - so glad the dishwasher does most of it! But I still have to wash the disgusting frying pans, then the dishwasher has to be emptied and refilled. And on and on it goes.

Also I find decluttering mind numbingly boring and I can’t psyche myself up to do it.

Yes I know. But my brain doesn’t work that way. So I would be constantly having to think about it. I wouldn’t find it easy. Though I get that to lots of people it is.

One in one out, regular clear outs. New school uniforms? Old ones are taken to the school donation bank or recycled if they are tatty.

Kids will happily fill a bin bag from their rooms for £10 when I ask them.

My mental health is far more important that worrying about the £5.99 I spent on somthing last year.

Its spent money, its not coming back.

I see a relative who lives in a total mess of a house, she says it gets her down but she continues to not really clean, buy lots of stuff and never throws anything away. I would be in bits after a few days of living in her house.

See I think this is a fascinating question - unwanted stuff IME is just constantly around - things my children have grown out of, something I bought that broke or was totally useless, McDonalds' toys or party bag junk that nobody really wanted in the first place, something which has been replaced but we haven't got around to getting rid of the old version, things which are worn out, things which I've got bored of (e.g. a book I've read but wouldn't re-read/don't want to keep), food which was bought enthusiastically but has sat in the cupboard for months being passed by, something I bought the wrong version of but it wasn't worth the hassle to return it, spare shelves or other bits of IKEA furniture that we might need later, stuff like that.

What do you do with things like that? I am getting better at throwing some things out straight away, but sometimes with things like electrical items which are supposed to be taken to an electrical recycling point etc they seem to sit around for ages before anyone does anything with them. Or it feels "too good" to put it in the bin so I think I really ought to stick it on FB marketplace or take to the charity shop. I had a good system for this for a while - a box or bag in the downstairs loo which when it got full, I'd use the next available day to take it to the charity shop. But I got out of this habit when we moved.

Do you have regular clear outs of things like toys/books/cupboards to weed out any of the things which don't get as much love? Or do you operate a very strict one in one out policy, or anything like that?

I think it is the opposite way around, it becomes a habit when done automatically, whereas messier people will think about it a lot more as it is all around them, procrastination is mind consuming too.

How to deal with 'stuff'.

Before you start to declutter, think about what you need to have in place. DO NOT DECLUTTER UNTIL YOU HAVE A PLAN. Otherwise you have mountains of stuff to get rid off.

Make sure you have a car or van to take things to the tip / recycling centre. Strong bin bags, big boxes and cleaning stuff in place.

Are you happy disposing of things or donating? If not, whats your plans for selling it?

If its selling, get your Vinted account up and running (You can sell clothes and electrics there). Download a Books for Cash app, they sometimes pay the postage too and collect the parcel.

FB marketplace. Its the pits. People will argue over £3 for a bike and be a bit ridiciulous. Stand your ground and dont expect them to turn up.

Would a local car boot sale be better? When is it?

Google search where things can go. Is there a local chairty that will collect, service and rehome bikes for example. Will anywhere take furniture etc etc

If you are happy with the plans for getting rid of the 'stuff' then start. Nobody wants your Aunties tea set from Harrods when you die, I can promise you. Its not precious, its junk. Same for the Princess Diana memorial plates. Get them in the bin.

Take a day, get the rubber gloves on and start. Get rid of the big things first, the things that are blocking the hallyway and go from there.

Tidying isn't a 'job'-it's just what you do as you go along each day. The house rarely needs 'tidying'.

Well exactly.

I never have to tidy anything in my house, because it is never untidy.

Get a cleaner once a month. It will force you to tidy your house so they can clean properly.

I get that’s how tidy people are but I can’t imagine constantly thinking about what needs to be tidied.

But I don't think about tidying at all-I just do it as I go along, it doesn't really enter into my head. Tidying isn't a 'job'-it's just what you do as you go along each day. The house rarely needs 'tidying'.

When I win the lottery, I am allocating a "crap room" to the new house.
Life changing 😂

Quite, it's possible to have a tidy home AND read a book or whatever. It's not one or the other.

My home never seems to be neat and tidy for long.

I have some friends who always have an immaculate home. They don't seem to spend ages cleaning etc- in fact I think I probably spend longer cleaning, tidying, re-tidying etc than they do. The big difference is that they don't have anything like as much 'stuff' as we do. Since they have less 'stuff' there is an easy place for everything so it's easy to put things away and easier to clean as there is nothing to have to move first. My tidiest friend has one small wardrobe and one set of drawers for each member of the family. They have lovely clothes, but not lots of them and throw away/donate anything they don't wear. They don't keep toys that their DC rarely play with and when the DC were small they would regift/donate any birthday/Xmas presents that they didn't love so that they would not end up with too many toys/games to fit in their storage units. They only have things that they use regularly in their kitchen, and nothing on the worksurfaces. Their cupboards and not over-filled and there are no odd mismatched cups/glasses/utensils etc. The same goes for sports equipment, coats, gadgets, toiletries- nothing that they won't use regularly and anything they don't use is disposed of quickly.

I think it's a difference in mind-set. I know I keep too much clutter but hate the idea of throwing things out when I may need/want them at some point, whereas tidy friend is happy to just buy new when she needs it.

I guess for me its storage, regular clear outs and clean as i go.

As I cook, I have the sink full of soap. As I finish with the chopping board stuff whilst its cooking I wash those bits, wipe down surfaces. When kids are in high chairs eating i put away the toys in living room and quick brush up. Then eat with them. Send them back in living room then finish the kitchen clean and mop floor. When they're in bed I then mop living room. I tend to get the toddler to put her toys back in the box as a "night night" routine.

I hang clothes as I go.
Bedding wise i tend to do one bed a day, bung it in the washing machine before work alongside whoseever bedding it is clothes if theres space in there. Then make bed up when I get in.

On my day off (work hybrid so sometimes from home) I deep clean bathroom and do those wipe bits, cupboards that get neglected early in the morning.

I always wipe down bath/shower after a use. Dust a room when im in it.

My mum always had a rule to leave the house clean. As when your knackered just come in at 5-6pm seeing mountain of dishes, loads of cleaning to do makes you feel ughhh. When I get in having to then cook, I just want to get it done so I can chill in peace.

I never use to be tidy, for me it was just getting in the habit.

Probably pointless habits I find helpful:
Fold laundry in piles of where they go as you take them out machine.

Meal prep, uses less pots and pans, and feeling mentally organised just helps me.

Whenever you go upstairs or downstairs take something up that needs to go up, or laundry etc down.

We do have carpets upstairs so I tend to hoover couple times a week when everyones distracted. Its our living room that's used heavily so upstairs doesn't get too messy, its just keeping on top of it

But that's the thing, I don't constantly think about it - it's just part of the task - like putting the milk back in the fridge, or turning off the tap.

If I was to get up now to go to the bathroom, I would just automatically take my empty plate and mug to the sink and wash them up. It's no different (to me) to flushing the loo or turning off a light.

Ours is called The Crap Drawer.
🤣

So do I, which is why my house is always tidy - so I can spend my free time sat on my arse

This morning for example, while I waited for the kettle to boil, I put away yesterday's dishes and filled the animals' water bowls. While they were eating, I did the litter trays and ran the vacuum round the living room. It doesn't eat it in to my "sitting down time" because I'd not be sitting down then anyway, so instead of twiddling my thumbs or playing on my phone, I do a task.

I never let the mess build up because I know I would resent spending my evenings or weekends tidying and cleaning.

It’s not always something to be envied!

I can’t sit down to chill unless the room is tidy and I can’t sit in the garden unless all the gardening tasks are done. I suppose some people would say that if you’re a gardener you tend not to be a sitter-downer there anyway, but it’s a shame. Yes, I do it with visitors but not just myself.

I wish I was more able to just relax but I’m old enough to know it’s just how I am. It’s not the worst problem to have!

Even the "random stuff" has an allocated drawer

Yes, we have a "random shit drawer" in the kitchen (DD named it 😁)

I love your kitchen!

I also love that you can go back at any time to do something, and it won't be sticky or dirty and need a clean. You can have anyone popping around unexpectedly and the kitchen is not out of bound. You can decide to go out for the day and evening, and not be faced by a pile of mess when you go to bed.

It's just so much easier and the clean kitchen is for your own benefit, not a random visitor .

you don't really think about it, you just ... do.

It makes no difference really to put the mug you just finished using straight in the dishwasher instead of dumping it on the side. You go upstairs in your bedroom, you grab what needs to go on the way, you are going anyway.

If I wasn't tidying up as I go, I would be thinking about it everytime I look at things, and it annoys me.

I don’t constantly think about it. I’m very lazy. But if I’m putting a cup of tea back in the kitchen I’m already on my feet, so I wash it and put it away.

There are obvious exceptions. We’ve all dashed out of the house in a rush. But because a level of tidiness is maintained, an occasional cup or plate on the side isn’t the end of the world. But if everyone just left things lying about it becomes a mammoth job that I can’t be arsed dealing with. There’s not much more depressing to me than to walk into a kitchen with a disgusting pile of dishes lying about and crumbs everywhere, papers on the table and so on. Fuck that, what a waste of time.