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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fascinated by tidy people

788 replies

tangerinemagic · 25/08/2025 14:14

I’m just not tidy. Nor is my husband. We try. Actually very hard. We have two young children and a dog but there is literally stuff everywhere, all of the time.

I live in London, so we naturally have many parent friends right on our doorstep and there is a ‘drop in’ culture where we might wrap up a playground or common trip and head to each others houses.

Ours is not fit for that kind of spontaneity but others fling open their doors at any time and it’s like no one even lives there.

when conversations come up about chores, cleaning, tidiness, I recoil. They really are extremely tidy people and with young kids. You can’t mistake walking into a tidy persons house, it just feels, different.

The floors and sofa/furniture in our house just don’t look like theirs, even if you have a whip round and tidy you can tell.

So, tidy people, tell me, how do you do it. What are the tips. Was this nurture growing up in a tidy household? Or something you learned? AIBU to be ashamed my pram, car, house is always in need of a clean.

OP posts:
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9
NamechangeNightNurse · 26/08/2025 14:27

NuffSaidSam · 26/08/2025 14:11

Do you have young kids?

They are slightly older but even when they were small the evening routine was the same plus feed them, bathe them and into bed.
All jobs done
For a start if I came in and sat down I would be stalked by the pets !

NuffSaidSam · 26/08/2025 14:11

NamechangeNightNurse · 26/08/2025 13:59

So you would just ignore the letter, nappy bin and crumbs?Confused
Im a bit puzzled?
So you just leave it and sit down?
Seems to be a weird sitting down obsession on here or is that really scrolling on phone?

When I get in I just do what needs doing ,sort bags, post and dinner, feed pets then while I have a bath run the robot vacuum.
Eat dinner, then clear up, wipe surfaces, run dishwasher ,empty bin and prep work bag etc
Done!!!
Usually it's about 7.30 and then I will watch something
DH always empties the dishwasher
Everything is clean and tidy,ready for the next day.

Do you have young kids?

NamechangeNightNurse · 26/08/2025 13:59

So you would just ignore the letter, nappy bin and crumbs?Confused
Im a bit puzzled?
So you just leave it and sit down?
Seems to be a weird sitting down obsession on here or is that really scrolling on phone?

When I get in I just do what needs doing ,sort bags, post and dinner, feed pets then while I have a bath run the robot vacuum.
Eat dinner, then clear up, wipe surfaces, run dishwasher ,empty bin and prep work bag etc
Done!!!
Usually it's about 7.30 and then I will watch something
DH always empties the dishwasher
Everything is clean and tidy,ready for the next day.

NamechangeNightNurse · 26/08/2025 13:59

RedOnyx · 26/08/2025 11:42

I am definitely not naturally tidy and as far as I can tell it really is a case of never sitting down. All the people saying "clean as you go" - it sounds sensible in principle but it's almost like I have a mental block. So I see a letter on the table. Okay, I should take that to the room where it belongs. But then if I just put it on the desk there all I've done is move the clutter, so I need to punch holes in the paper, find the right folder and file it away. It would probably only take a minute but all I see is extra work. And once I've done that there'll be something else that I can "just quickly" do: the dishwasher will have finished, or my daughter has finished the snack that was keeping her occupied while I tidied away the letter, which means crumbs need sweeping (even though I hoovered after work before picking her up from nursery). Then she needs a nappy change and afterwards her bin bag is full, so that goes in the big bin, which then needs to be emptied and taken down. Then two new bin bags to be put in... theoretically all short tasks but now it's been half an hour since I saw the stupid letter on the table and I didn't even get to sit down for 1 minute while my daughter ate her snack.

I have childhood memories of my mum cleaning on a Saturday morning, complaining about us being in the way - making us lift our feet so she could hoover, dusting the TV while we were trying to watch Saturday morning cartoons. It all seemed very stressful! My sister and I had the job of cleaning the kitchen after dinner - dishes washed, dried and put away, sides and hob wiped, flood swept. If my step dad was home he would check our work and go mad if it wasn't done properly. To this day I hate washing dishes - so glad the dishwasher does most of it! But I still have to wash the disgusting frying pans, then the dishwasher has to be emptied and refilled. And on and on it goes.

So you would just ignore the letter, nappy bin and crumbs?Confused
Im a bit puzzled?
So you just leave it and sit down?
Seems to be a weird sitting down obsession on here or is that really scrolling on phone?

When I get in I just do what needs doing ,sort bags, post and dinner, feed pets then while I have a bath run the robot vacuum.
Eat dinner, then clear up, wipe surfaces, run dishwasher ,empty bin and prep work bag etc
Done!!!
Usually it's about 7.30 and then I will watch something
DH always empties the dishwasher
Everything is clean and tidy,ready for the next day.

BertieBotts · 26/08/2025 13:58

Ah - perhaps I should have labelled the tidy group "People who have their stuff under control" but it was a bit long Grin

It's obviously not a true binary anyway. I just find it interesting when you can see behaviour patterns on a scale between two groups. I think we all have a tendency to assume our own way of being is the "norm" and I love figuring out what the unwritten rules are that people live by. I think this is genuinely what helps us make changes for the better.

Parksinyork · 26/08/2025 13:53

BertieBotts · 26/08/2025 13:45

@DeborahKerr @Parksinyork @Kitchenbattle

Thank you for the responses. I was playing devil's advocate a little bit in that I do actually have better systems for decluttering and keeping the unwanted stuff from coming in in the first place now than I used to, although it's not perfect. But I still think it's very interesting to compare the way we naturally lean because I do catch myself falling into old habits or ways of thinking if I'm not careful. Some of this reflects things I've learnt about myself or from going through some of the decluttering "systems" (Marie Kondo taught me a lot about the importance of getting things out ASAP).

I think the overall patterns from your replies seem to be - people who are naturally tidier think and plan more before buying things, so don't tend to buy things impulsively like food which "seems like a good deal" or seems like a healthy/interesting thing to try which then never gets used up.

People who have too much stuff are perhaps more prone to spotting a bargain or a shiny thing and thinking ooh I want that, without considering how it will fit with their existing things or where they will keep it or whether they have space.

People who are naturally tidier just do things straight away - like returning an unwanted/dysfunctional item to the shop, or listing things online or taking things to the charity shop. They are also less bothered by putting things in the bin, in general.

People who have too much stuff may have intentions to do these things but (IME) the items lie around for ages gathering dust or even worse, getting mixed back into the general chaos and having to be sorted out again endlessly. There is also a common theme of wanting to find the most "optimal" way of getting rid of something. I will never forget the shame I felt when I sold a pair of PJs on vinted which had been in my cupboard for literally years. They still looked good condition, but I hadn't put them on a child in years and hence I did not realise until the buyer let me know that the elastic in the waistband has totally perished! I gave her a refund even though she said she didn't want one, but that definitely pushed me into giving myself a deadline for online sales or I just charity shop the items or if all else fails, they go into a clothing donation bin.

And yes, good observation that I do tend to spend too much time on MN rather than doing useful things Grin (I don't mind this at all, it's true, although I am much better than I used to be.)

It did make a HUGE difference to me when I stopped prioritising getting rid of things in "the most optimal way" (whether money, environmental impact, "waste" etc) and started prioritising whatever actually gets the item out of the house ASAP. So would 100% recommend this, OP.

Then lastly with the McDonalds' and party bag tat - I am much better at just weeding this stuff out ASAP when I see it and they have lost interest now - my problem before was that I couldn't whisk it away immediately because it would upset the children who usually delight in this stuff of course. And then once the initial novelty value of the toy had passed, I was not classifying it as junk to be got rid of, I valued it equally as all their other stuff because it was one of their possessions, and I feel strongly that it is important not to throw out children's stuff behind their backs (this is also something I have flexed on - I now think under a certain age, it's OK and even a kindness to do this, but once they get older, I do involve them in decision making about what to keep.)

DS1 and DS3 are unfortunately goblin hoarders like me, although DS1 got better about it as he got older and is almost minimalist now. DS2 is hilariously ruthless and doesn't care, mainly because he actually appreciates the space/clean areas.

DH was more ruthless than me when we first got together and he is more likely to "tidy" (which he does by shoving everything into whatever space exists anywhere in a room, and wantonly throwing out everything that looks vaguely like rubbish, including some things which are not). I am much more meticulous and detailed, but this means I am very slow and it takes more energy for me to clean up/declutter. I can look at a pile of "rubbish", and pick things out of it that I actually wanted to keep. And I don't like putting things in every random space, I want to put things away properly, which slows me down if there isn't a proper place for the thing. So I am getting there slowly especially with Dana K White (she has the A Slob Comes Clean podcast). Her technique is good for anyone who struggles to finish tasks, because it's little by little and doesn't make a bigger mess in the process.

I actually think we have reached a point now where I reject a lot of my previous borderline-hoarding tendencies and DH has more of the "I need to keep it in case it comes in useful later" and I am itching to go through all his stuff and decimate it. But I have learnt that it genuinely is more helpful for me to focus 100% on my own stuff, and the rest of the household follows.

Thank you but I’m not a naturally tidier! I’m the opposite so everything I’ve done I’ve learnt and my house if far from
perfect.

KindnessIsKey123 · 26/08/2025 13:51

MiloMinderbinder925 · 25/08/2025 14:22

You need to mercilessly declutter and declutter regularly.

This!!

Having less really helps. We have one frying pan, and when it wears out, I throw it away and buy another one. Once a month a bag of toys clothes to a charity shop. If you open the wardrobe & there’s an item of clothing that you would never wear get rid of it there and then.
Odd socks, get rid.
bit of old makeup, next time you use your makeup bag, just throw the old bits in the bin.

When you get the Christmas decorations out, if theres stuff there that you haven’t used in three years put it in the charity bag. It becomes a habit.

plus just create some ‘rules’ that everyone follows. For example, if there are always shoes in the corridor, buy a box or trunk, and shoes are taken off put in there & the lid shut.

before I go to bed every night, I collect all the cups from the sitting room and they had to go in the sink in the dishwasher.

There is an Instagram account called space for simplicity which I like.

Aweecupofteaandabiscuit · 26/08/2025 13:48

My house is not a showhome, which is not realistic when you have very young children IMO, but it generally looks pretty good and ready for People. I have trained myself to do the following without really thinking about it -

  1. never leave a room empty handed. There will be something nearby that belongs where you are going.
  2. if something crosses my path which is used/broken/part of a scattered set/tat, it’s leaving NOW.
  3. use all the odd few seconds here and there - while the kettle is boiling, dinner is cooking, kids are bathing, find something nearby to clean/sort/tick off the list
  4. stuff for the dump goes straight in the car boot, no piles allowed in this house
  5. I have a little plastic bag stash in strategic locations so that if the moods strikes to clear out a drawer or something, I’m good to go
  6. aim to always leave a room a little bit better than I found it
  7. flip the narrative - tidying is not a punishment, it’s something you do to get the reward (in my case light a candle and watch some tv in a lovely calm space at night when the kids are asleep, instead of having to either muster the energy for a big clean up that late in the day or sit in a big mess)
BertieBotts · 26/08/2025 13:45

@DeborahKerr @Parksinyork @Kitchenbattle

Thank you for the responses. I was playing devil's advocate a little bit in that I do actually have better systems for decluttering and keeping the unwanted stuff from coming in in the first place now than I used to, although it's not perfect. But I still think it's very interesting to compare the way we naturally lean because I do catch myself falling into old habits or ways of thinking if I'm not careful. Some of this reflects things I've learnt about myself or from going through some of the decluttering "systems" (Marie Kondo taught me a lot about the importance of getting things out ASAP).

I think the overall patterns from your replies seem to be - people who are naturally tidier think and plan more before buying things, so don't tend to buy things impulsively like food which "seems like a good deal" or seems like a healthy/interesting thing to try which then never gets used up.

People who have too much stuff are perhaps more prone to spotting a bargain or a shiny thing and thinking ooh I want that, without considering how it will fit with their existing things or where they will keep it or whether they have space.

People who are naturally tidier just do things straight away - like returning an unwanted/dysfunctional item to the shop, or listing things online or taking things to the charity shop. They are also less bothered by putting things in the bin, in general.

People who have too much stuff may have intentions to do these things but (IME) the items lie around for ages gathering dust or even worse, getting mixed back into the general chaos and having to be sorted out again endlessly. There is also a common theme of wanting to find the most "optimal" way of getting rid of something. I will never forget the shame I felt when I sold a pair of PJs on vinted which had been in my cupboard for literally years. They still looked good condition, but I hadn't put them on a child in years and hence I did not realise until the buyer let me know that the elastic in the waistband has totally perished! I gave her a refund even though she said she didn't want one, but that definitely pushed me into giving myself a deadline for online sales or I just charity shop the items or if all else fails, they go into a clothing donation bin.

And yes, good observation that I do tend to spend too much time on MN rather than doing useful things Grin (I don't mind this at all, it's true, although I am much better than I used to be.)

It did make a HUGE difference to me when I stopped prioritising getting rid of things in "the most optimal way" (whether money, environmental impact, "waste" etc) and started prioritising whatever actually gets the item out of the house ASAP. So would 100% recommend this, OP.

Then lastly with the McDonalds' and party bag tat - I am much better at just weeding this stuff out ASAP when I see it and they have lost interest now - my problem before was that I couldn't whisk it away immediately because it would upset the children who usually delight in this stuff of course. And then once the initial novelty value of the toy had passed, I was not classifying it as junk to be got rid of, I valued it equally as all their other stuff because it was one of their possessions, and I feel strongly that it is important not to throw out children's stuff behind their backs (this is also something I have flexed on - I now think under a certain age, it's OK and even a kindness to do this, but once they get older, I do involve them in decision making about what to keep.)

DS1 and DS3 are unfortunately goblin hoarders like me, although DS1 got better about it as he got older and is almost minimalist now. DS2 is hilariously ruthless and doesn't care, mainly because he actually appreciates the space/clean areas.

DH was more ruthless than me when we first got together and he is more likely to "tidy" (which he does by shoving everything into whatever space exists anywhere in a room, and wantonly throwing out everything that looks vaguely like rubbish, including some things which are not). I am much more meticulous and detailed, but this means I am very slow and it takes more energy for me to clean up/declutter. I can look at a pile of "rubbish", and pick things out of it that I actually wanted to keep. And I don't like putting things in every random space, I want to put things away properly, which slows me down if there isn't a proper place for the thing. So I am getting there slowly especially with Dana K White (she has the A Slob Comes Clean podcast). Her technique is good for anyone who struggles to finish tasks, because it's little by little and doesn't make a bigger mess in the process.

I actually think we have reached a point now where I reject a lot of my previous borderline-hoarding tendencies and DH has more of the "I need to keep it in case it comes in useful later" and I am itching to go through all his stuff and decimate it. But I have learnt that it genuinely is more helpful for me to focus 100% on my own stuff, and the rest of the household follows.

jill5676 · 26/08/2025 13:45

I've realised since reading this thread that I'm really bad for putting stuff down and not away. I think it's a combination of being constantly distracted by my toddler, knackered from pregnancy and living in a flat that we've now outgrown. I do declutter as much as I can and I strive to have a place for most things but we are bursting at the seams - we have been house hunting for months but keep getting beaten so it is what it is for now! Recycling is a particular problem - when the bag is full, I can't just nip out the back door for two mins while my toddler plays, we both have to get our shoes on and go all the way downstairs to empty it. So right now, I have cardboard sitting above the bin because it's raining, she's playing nicely and I cba getting us ready for a trip downstairs. Pre kids I was a tidy person so I live in hope that when we have more space (in the next year hopefully) I will find it easier to get back on top of things.

gmgnts · 26/08/2025 13:30

@keepincool looks like a really good service, but I don't live in England.

keepincool · 26/08/2025 13:28

@gmgnts If you're at the stage now that you know what to get rid of and you prefer having someone else to handle the removal, Anglo Doorstep Collections could be a better option. They offer free doorstep collection and allow you to choose the charity that will benefit from your donated items. I use them all the time as I don't have a car to transport donations to charity shops.

Anglo Doorstep Collections - Charity Collections

We offer a free charity doorstep collection service. We collect the donations from your door, then donate to your selected charity.

https://anglodoorstepcollections.co.uk/

EmeraldShamrock000 · 26/08/2025 13:11

jnh22 · 26/08/2025 12:30

Yep, this is exactly the situation.

Messy clean for me is no grime, no dust, skirting boards, cupboards, doors clean, house spotless, but cushions messed, school bags in hallway, toaster still on counter, shampoo bottles lose in shower base. Visitors ready in 30.
Not fake clean.

Delatron · 26/08/2025 13:01

gmgnts · 26/08/2025 12:59

I hired a declutterer! Expensive, but worth it. She comes about once a month and the best thing is, she takes everything away with her - for charity shops, rubbish, recycling, it all leaves my house with her and is gone for good. I can't tell you how wonderful it is! In between her visits, I now make piles for her to take away next time and gradually the mountains of stuff that needs shifting are subsiding. I reckon another 6 months or so should get me to a nice, tidy organised home with a place for everything and everything in its place. 😊

I need this in my life! Especially the taking away of the stuff.

gmgnts · 26/08/2025 12:59

I hired a declutterer! Expensive, but worth it. She comes about once a month and the best thing is, she takes everything away with her - for charity shops, rubbish, recycling, it all leaves my house with her and is gone for good. I can't tell you how wonderful it is! In between her visits, I now make piles for her to take away next time and gradually the mountains of stuff that needs shifting are subsiding. I reckon another 6 months or so should get me to a nice, tidy organised home with a place for everything and everything in its place. 😊

Kitchenbattle · 26/08/2025 12:58

Serpentstooth · 26/08/2025 12:56

NO, Not The Shed ! Start of a slippery slope. Fortunately, I haven't got a shed but if I had it would be full of ' oh, I might need that's'.

Well it’s only 6ft by 7ft and the mower and other bits are in there so limited space. But I treat it like another room. It’s very tidy 🤣🤣

EmeraldShamrock000 · 26/08/2025 12:57

I regularly remove anything that isn't used.
I don't have much clutter.
I don't become emotionally attached to items.
I grew up in a cluttered house. I want different for my children.

Serpentstooth · 26/08/2025 12:56

NO, Not The Shed ! Start of a slippery slope. Fortunately, I haven't got a shed but if I had it would be full of ' oh, I might need that's'.

Kitchenbattle · 26/08/2025 12:49

BertieBotts · 26/08/2025 11:17

See I think this is a fascinating question - unwanted stuff IME is just constantly around - things my children have grown out of, something I bought that broke or was totally useless, McDonalds' toys or party bag junk that nobody really wanted in the first place, something which has been replaced but we haven't got around to getting rid of the old version, things which are worn out, things which I've got bored of (e.g. a book I've read but wouldn't re-read/don't want to keep), food which was bought enthusiastically but has sat in the cupboard for months being passed by, something I bought the wrong version of but it wasn't worth the hassle to return it, spare shelves or other bits of IKEA furniture that we might need later, stuff like that.

What do you do with things like that? I am getting better at throwing some things out straight away, but sometimes with things like electrical items which are supposed to be taken to an electrical recycling point etc they seem to sit around for ages before anyone does anything with them. Or it feels "too good" to put it in the bin so I think I really ought to stick it on FB marketplace or take to the charity shop. I had a good system for this for a while - a box or bag in the downstairs loo which when it got full, I'd use the next available day to take it to the charity shop. But I got out of this habit when we moved.

Do you have regular clear outs of things like toys/books/cupboards to weed out any of the things which don't get as much love? Or do you operate a very strict one in one out policy, or anything like that?

here you go ☺️

things my children have grown out of- I go through my dcs clothing every few months, they will tell me if something doesn’t fit etc and I have a bag in the car that they go straight into and then when it’s full I’ll bring it to a charity shop.
something I bought that broke or was totally useless- I don’t understand this…but I would bring it back to the shop ASAP!
McDonalds' toys or party bag junk that nobody really wanted in the first place,-the second my dc turn their heads these are gone!
something which has been replaced but we haven't got around to getting rid of the old version- I get rid of the old version first, depending on the item it goes in the bin straight away.
things which are worn out- bin
things which I've got bored of (e.g. a book I've read but wouldn't re-read/don't want to keep)-charity shop bag
food which was bought enthusiastically but has sat in the cupboard for months being passed by- I don’t get this either. I meal plan so rarely buy thing with no use.
something I bought the wrong version of but it wasn't worth the hassle to return it- I just wouldn’t do this, I would return it. spare shelves or other bits of IKEA furniture that we might need later, stuff like that.- if I don’t need it I won’t have it. But I have a shed which has a few mirrors in it. So I suppose I could put that stuff in the shed.

tangerinemagic · 26/08/2025 12:45

ThankYouNigel · 25/08/2025 17:57

Hi OP,

I am one of those tidy people! 😂 always have been, even as I child I loved tidying and organising my bedroom.

My Mum is very clean and organised too, did all her own housework, we always had fresh beds and towels growing up.

For me it’s something I do naturally, I enjoy it. I love for example emptying out, cleaning then reorganising my dressing table, going through our garden shed, or having a good tidy up of all my children’s art and craft bits.

I have a set weekly cleaning routine (dust, hoover, clean bathroom, kitchen & ironing). I then have tasks which I do less often and pick one or two each week depending on need, eg cleaning the inside of the windows, cleaning out the fridge, deep clean the oven, cleaning all the electronics. I also have bigger seasonal tasks, eg dust the inside of all radiators, wash internal walls, defrost the freezer.

I constantly declutter. I immediately bag up my children’s clothes once they are out of that age and season and instantly pass on to a friend/charity shop/clothing bin, whichever I see first. No hanging about! 😂

I now find cleaning really quick as these routines mean nothing builds up, so actually I can get loads done in 3 hours once a week. I certainly don’t clean every day.

I’m the same with gardening- 2 big landscaped gardens with loads of different beds, shrubs, plants etc, but doing 1-2 hours per week of pruning/raking/weeding now means my garden always looks tidy and I can get quickly back on top of it if we are on holiday or something. I work very quickly once I start!

For me, I love knowing where things are and being able to quickly find things. I find physical clutter overwhelming and can think more clearly and feel much calmer in a tidy home. I don’t like duplicate items- I only ever have 1 shower gel, 1 shampoo, 1 body lotion, 1 of each make up item, etc. I may have one extra stored out of sight, but only ever 1 out and in use.

Edited

Wow impressive! I too love a declutter but I overthink it all, clearing out a cupboard can take me hours as I painstakingly go through everything. It takes so long. I just don’t know where you find motivation to carve out time for the above each and every week, consistently. I’ve not really revealed too much of my own situation so will give it a go now.

brought up in an incredible cluttered, dirty, chaotic household. Far too many toys, mum a hoarder, Dad messy as anything (both were). We did have help to a point so the house only descended into chaos when the help stopped. When I was at uni and moved out my room was the same, a mess! When I became a home owner (flat) I tried but failed to keep the spare room tidy, it became a dumping ground but communal areas were clear and bedroom. When I became a home owner I was at my tidiest, no kids, lots of storage, everything had its place. When the kids came along, it has descended into chaos, stuff is everywhere often. However, it’s never dishes piling up in sink or dirty kitchen sides, it’s toys, as I said in PP bags of things from weekends away or activities, and the floor, babies drop food on the floor, I tidy but don’t mop every time! Who has time for that when baby eats non stop. I’d love to be tidy. I’m reading each post as I go. Taking all the tips! I don’t think I’m far off. Just need a real declutter. I need to accept I’m not going to sell maternity clothes and baby clothes, just bag them up and get rid! Will change my life! Thanks all.

OP posts:
bumblebramble · 26/08/2025 12:32

@BertieBotts OMG I have never heard of a barcode alarm. This might be life changing.

jnh22 · 26/08/2025 12:30

YaWeeFurryBastard · 25/08/2025 15:18

Agree. People always claim their house is “messy but clean” but I’m yet to encounter one of these mythical homes. What it means is they can’t see the dirt and grime collecting because there’s stuff everywhere to hide it.

Yep, this is exactly the situation.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 26/08/2025 11:56

Shinyandnew1 · 26/08/2025 11:01

I get that’s how tidy people are but I can’t imagine constantly thinking about what needs to be tidied.

But I don't think about tidying at all-I just do it as I go along, it doesn't really enter into my head. Tidying isn't a 'job'-it's just what you do as you go along each day. The house rarely needs 'tidying'.

Exactly. I never need to spend time tidying because my house and space is always tidy.

When I came back from walking the dog this morning, his stuff went straight on his hook in the cupboard, my shoes went on the shoe rack and my dirty clothes went in the machine. It only took a minute or two and everything was done.

Assssofspades · 26/08/2025 11:54

I never stop spot tidying, cleaning, organising etcetc. I always wish I was like you and cared much less!

Parksinyork · 26/08/2025 11:48

Delatron · 26/08/2025 11:41

Also I find decluttering mind numbingly boring and I can’t psyche myself up to do it.

Music or podcasts are essential.