To be fuming DH left our 8yo to supervise the baby while he mowed the lawn??

The biro thing is an add on - and doesnt add or detract from the culpability of the husband. I would be very cross with the 8 year old separately. However I don’t think an average eight year old can be relied upon to watch a baby. This 8 year old was clearly not responsible . I am surprised that I seem to be in a minority with this view. It does depend how big the garden is - if hubby is half an acre away , it’s a bigger issue than if they have 9 sq m of lawn right outside the patio doors.

Well, clearly he was being unreasonable leaving your 8 year old in charge of a toddler as she isn't mature enough to behave responsibly. Is the lack of maturity standard, if so the yes he should have known better.

And couldn't hear a thing?

I agree with you OP. A 16 month old needs careful supervision. Too much responsibility for an 8yr old.

On an aside - why am I getting sharpie ads next to this post!? lol

And as I've said multiple times, choking (her main concern) is silent so whether she's in a different room or outside is irrelevant, she's still occupied elsewhere and leaving her kids unattended.

Choking (which appears to be her main concern) is silent, so whether she can hear them bumping about or not is totally irrelevant.

He's not an idiot in the slightest for thinking an 8yo is responsible enough not to draw all over their sibling. The 8yo isn't one either, to be fair, but she should have been firmly told that her behaviour was absolutely unacceptable.

Exactly!
She's in a different room not outside the house with a noisy machine and ear defenders!!!

Unless the 8 year old has precious this is fine. He’s close in an emergency. No worse than a shower. You’ll laugh about it when they’re older. Make sure you have photos.

Unless she's been thrown up on, OP's shower isn't necessary either - she could do it when her DH is home or the kids are in bed.

Choking is often silent so whether the door is open (or not) isn't really relevant.

I also suspect he thinks it's hilarious because she regularly leaves the kids alone to do something she wants, and doesn't see the hypocrisy in her own emotions.

Having a 8 year old myself along with a 9 month old, I’d be more concerned why the 8 year old would draw on the baby..
I don’t think your husband did anything wrong, he was only in the garden

Why isn't it the same? A child can choke just as easily and silently in the 2 minutes OP is showering as they can in the 15 minutes her DH is mowing the lawn.

He had headphones on she isn't wearing those in the shower and personally when I have a shower with young children around they were asleep or in the next room and I had my door open so I could hear easily my point is mowing the lawn is not necessary plus now her dd has done this she might have a rethink whereas her husband just thinks its "hilarious"

She doesn't have headphones on, she is on the same floor as the DC, she is indoors, not outdoors, she can hear them bumping about.

Has everyone's brain turned to dust in this hot weather?

If this was me, I'd have chucked him out for the night.
He's the idiot not the little girl.

I actually wouldn't have left those ages alone whilst mowing the lawn with ear defenders on tbh. Partly because I'd worry that one of them would run (/toddle) out into the garden before I'd seen them! But mainly because 16mo is very little and I wouldn't be able to hear either of them if there was a problem.

Absolutely no way my 7yo would draw on a toddler, though.

Being in a shower with the door open for two minutes isn't remotely the same as bogging off outside for 15 mins+ with noisy machinery.

Exactly. People seem to be wilfully ignoring the fact that the OP regularly leaves her kids alone and unattended while she has a shower

And equally - why can't the OP shower when her DH is home? Why does it have to be done when her kids will be left unattended?

OP is regularly in charge and leaves her kids on their own while she goes into a different room and busies herself in the shower. Why is her behaviour okay but his subject to scorn and ridicule?

If she is in the shower and washing her hair, she will be just as oblivious to her children as her DH is while mowing the lawn.

But OP regularly leaves her kids unattended and goes off to shower - that's what people are taking issue with. So if her DH is "useless and irresponsible" then why is she any different?

Why did the lawn need mowing at that very second and couldn't it wait ten minutes?
Here is what it sounds like to me

Dad was in charge and decided to try a bit of weaponised incompetence (no lawn needs mowing the EXACT MINUTE another person leaves the property) he knew OP was going to be pissed about it he made sure of it adding headphones to the noisy lawnmower 8 year old has seen this behaviour before and said....hold my beer im going to one up you on this and has now made sure she will never EVER be used as a baby sitter again

Between the pair of them they have made sure OP will never leave the toddler alone with them again

So what about when OP also female takes a shower and delegates to another female, their DD to watch the baby?

Women, mothers used to get support and understanding on here. It's all gone to shit.

And calling a little girl an idiot???
Fucking disgrace!

If the garden takes 15 minutes to mow, it can’t be very big unless it’s very unusually shaped with grass only at the bottom or something.

Poor DH. Is wifey picking on him just because he got an 8 year old to do his job for him? Then blocked off his hearing and made lots of noise in the garden.
Ahhhh bless.

Mumsnet has gone crazy nowadays, sucking up to useless, irresponsible men.
Thank god all ended well.

Bit dramatic.

I don't think the DH did anything wrong.

But I think OP (and other PP's criticising her DH) are being huge hypocrites to object to her husband's actions when she regularly leaves the kids unattended herself.

Either the kids are fine unattended, or they're not. She can't have one set of rules for herself and another for her DH - that's what I object to.