To be fuming DH left our 8yo to supervise the baby while he mowed the lawn??

How long were you gone ?

You said only meant to be 10mins. Then said it was literally 10mins

then dh said it had been for 15m

my dd is 8 and is capable of looking after aka playing with a toddler for 10mins if been asked to keep an eye on them while I was in the garden

she def would have not drawn on them

I’ve just reread the OP and it got me thinking. Please can I check some wording @Erisheck? You said in your OP that you were only meant to be 10 mins when you went to the shop. How long were you away? Did you stay longer?

I took the children with me until school age

Whose lawn needs mowing anyway? Mine is brown dead and dusty

Showering can be done whilst the children sleep

The children are still left alone

Showering does limit what you can hear. Hearing wouldn't stop the drawing either. Rushing out of the shower because of a scream could be quite dangerous too

OP was only out for 10/15 minutes. DH went out to mow the lawn during that time, knowing OP would be back. It's not much of a time difference

Showering is a necessity and she doesn't leave the eight year old in charge. Unless you live in a mansion, you can still hear what's going on and you are actually in the same building. There's also a time difference in mowing a lawn and grabbing a quick shower.

Your poor DH.

An 8yr old is more than capable of being left with a 16month old whilst dad cuts the grass for 15minutes. You're overreacting.

8 is also old enough to know not to scribble on a baby.

I used to have mine in the bathroom with me, they usually liked to join me too whether they needed bathing or not.

This incident will blow over, nobody died and everyone has (probably), learned their lesson.

Ah but, had there been a problem, his elder child would have run into the garden and grabbed him.

It isn’t the point I’m making. IMO, the OP should wait until her DH is at home or when her baby is asleep to have a shower. Her DD could just as easily have scribbled on the baby whilst she was in the shower.

I don’t think the DH should have mown the lawn until the OP was back home, either.

None of this means that the DD shouldn’t also be told off for her actions, obviously, an 8 year old is old enough to know better.

Deflection from the dad who was outside, using a noisy machine, had ear defenders on and couldn't hear a thing.

8 year old enough to know not to draw on a baby. I’d expect that from a 3 or 3 yet old

I have a six year age gap between mine and at 8 DD1 could watch her sister for 10 mins if we were elsewhere in the house or garden. She knew things like pen lids were choking hazards and would not have let her toddler sibling have biros.

As for the shower, why does she need to have a shower whilst the 16 month old is awake anyway? I always had mine after my DDs were asleep when they were toddlers. Not difficult.

I disagree.
It's not a problem child.
It's a problem husband.

He's very lucky that something worse didn't happen whilst he was outside of the house and deafened with a noisy machine and ear defenders.

What an absolute idiot to take such a risk!

How do you think us single parents manage to mow our lawns?

Your 8 year old should definitely not be drawing on a toddler, that really needs nipped in the bud. Based on that alone no I wouldn't leave them alone ever when your 8 year old doesn't know right from wrong.

I've left my kids alone to shower, hang out washing etc and tbh they end up finding me anyway and both would find me or shout at the top of their lungs if something were wrong. I've been doing this since youngest was 1 eldest 6. They're now 4 and 9. Eldest has also never drew on their sibling.

I have an 8 step daughter and there is no way she would draw on my 19 month old and I would definitely trust her to watch him while I done a job. Your other child is definitely the problem here.

Showers can happen when the children are in bed. Lawns can’t be mowed then.

I know every child is different but the situation on face value doesn’t sound unreasonable at all to me. I was an elder sibling myself who always looked after my younger brother from a very young age.

I also have a very sweet and sensitive 3 year old and I know if I were to leave him with his 1 year old brother I’d be VERY confident that he would never draw on him. Really shocked that an 8 year old would think to draw on their baby sibling tbh.

Yet you addmit to having a shower?
Who is looking after the children then?
Do you like your husband.

I do similar with the kids when I shower. I can hear them. Your husband needs to think what it would be like to explain his decision if anything sinister had happened to either child.

Tbh it's one of those things that I wouldn't even put to a vote. Common sense isn't that common, after all.

Let’s be honest, we only have the impression the OP has provided and the OP is determined to believe that they are in the right and their annoyance is completely justified. For all we know the DH started work in half an hour and was mowing the lawn because there wouldn’t be another opportunity to do so and it’s due to rain from tomorrow.

Disagree, it’s far too much pressure to allow an 8 year old to care for a baby. Yes they were naughty to have drawn on sibling but the onus is always on parents

I didn’t say I wasn’t concerned about the safety of the baby - I just personally think it should be absolutely fine to leave an 8yo to supervise a toddler for a short period of time while a parent is on hand for emergencies (whether that’s showering or mowing the lawn).

For me, it’s the behaviour of the 8yo that’s most concerning here. At that age I was walking to the corner shop to get milk or to the chippy to get food - the fact that this child can’t be left alone without drawing all over her sibling is bonkers to me.

Yes. Also the fact he was so PLEASED WITH HIMSELF ugh