To be fuming DH left our 8yo to supervise the baby while he mowed the lawn??

Their dad is more than capable of just doing what their mother asked of him.

Have to agree with the first comment (and many other PP).

At 8, my parents left my 1 year old sister for an entire afternoon whilst they did the big grocery shop. I was also helping with basic tasks around home by then including some caring duties for baby sister.

Unless your DD has learning difficulties or is very young for her age, I don’t think was unreasonable for DH to think he could entrust this task to her.

@Erisheck the pertinent question here is: why did your lawn urgently need mowing at the exact same time your two children needed looking after because you were unavailable? And I think we all know the answer to that don’t we? So let’s not put the blame on a little girl. 16 month old mobile toddlers are very hard work and too much responsibility for an 8 year old. Imagine how she would feel if her sibling came to any harm?

Yes, that would be my approach.

Just like OP can't be bothered to parent when she does the same thing every time she has a shower, right?

An eight year old should be more than capable of sitting in the same room with their toddler sibling for 15 minutes without drawing all over them with biro.

So yes, if the 8yo was mine they'd be getting a proper telling off. It wouldn't even occur to me to be angry at my husband.

When it's one adult with a toddler they take the toddler with them.

DH just couldn't be bothered to parent for 10 minutes.

Amazing that the 8 year old is to be held more accountable for the adult man 😆

The baby was 16 months old not a 'small baby', if that makes a difference to your view

Another one here who can’t see the problem with leaving an 8 year old inside with a toddler in a safe space aka their own house whilst you mow the lawn, how do you think single parents manage? Your 8 year old needs to be told off for drawing on their sibling, that’s all

Even worse that it's a toddler. Hard enough for an adult to keep up with them at times. At least babies stay on one place.

I'm with you. All 8 year olds are different and we know - we KNOW - they lack impulse control. Apparently so does you OH. I'd be pretty pissed off with him as well.

16 months is a toddler, not a small baby.

Op - AIBU
Yes
Op - no I’m not

Why bother posting if you don’t think you are being unreasonable op?
You are allowed to feel how you feel, that is totally up to you, regardless of what others think but if you are so sure of yourself don’t waste other posters time when you already think you know the answer

Wow. I'm clearly out of step with the majority and I thought I was the most laid back parent ever!

No way would I leave an 8yo to look after a toddler for 15 minutes whether mowing the lawn or.showering. A stationary baby maybe, but not a toddler. Just not worth the risk.
The most I would do would be in the next door room but popping in regularly to check.

This. I never showered in this situation.
An 8 year old should be able to mind a toddler for a short while.
The drawing all over her is very strange though, I agree with pp. Unusual for an 8 year old.

I would not have had a problem with this. He was only outside, and an 8 year old should be more than capable of dealing with this.

However, your description of the 8 year old behaving like a toddler, made me think they are possibly developmentally delayed?, so in that case, your husband was irresponsible to leave them, even for a short time

So you can leave them unattended but he can’t? In the shower you can’t hear fully. If all goes quiet, you’d just assume everything is ok when actually baby could be choking. The baby could climb and fall on something whilst you’re in the shower, you’d only know after the accident because they’d presumably cry. So that’s very double standards of you!
At 8 you’re DD should know better, if she hadn’t of drawn on the baby there’d of been no issue. Maybe you’re all at fault because you both leave an 8 year old who is obviously immature to watch a baby

How is it different?

If I was in the garden now, I'd be closer to the living room than I would be if I was upstairs getting something out of the wardrobe.

Come off it - no 8 year old thinks drawing on a baby in pen is helpful. Good luck with the parenting if you are downplaying that. EIGHT! Been in school several years and knows what is and isn’t ok. More than old enough to pop out and say to a dad mowing the lawn (or a mum having a shower in the SILENT shower) that baby is crying etc.

I'd be annoyed, but not really 'fuming'. By 8 I was in charge of my sister and the 2 kids from next door too! The thing DH needs to consider though (which my parents and next door neighbours never did) is the effect on the 8 year old if anything did happen to the baby.

I also don't think it's a big deal that the 8 year old drew on the baby and (although I'd try not to show it) I'd find it funny! Children do silly things, because they are children - it doesn't mean there's something wrong with her.

Being in the garden cutting the grass is NOT like being in the next room. The father was wrong to leave the kids alone.

Agree with most everyone else... the initial problem was your 8 year old misbehaving, but that is now eclipsed by your massive over reaction. Are you still feeling angry now?

I agree, he was on the 'premises', had there been any problem he would have been indoors within a few seconds.

The biro will wash off, your baby will be fine, probably had a great time playing school.

The 8yo is deffo the problem here. When I visit my brother and SIL, their 8yo daughter takes my DD off and I get some peace and quiet. She doesn't draw on her. She mostly plays dolls with her tbh but anyway. Not like he went to the shop, take it easy on him