Husband booked a holiday I said I didn’t want to go on

Florida was lovely...in April!

It's not really about the holiday.

I'd say he was free to go with the kids. I just wouldn't be joining.

I have been on August, the last two weeks re often cheaper and less busy as many Americans are back at school. To be fair if you want to go in the school holidays, really it has to be Christmas which is pricier or Easter with is pricier and busier, so really it’s tricky. We found the last two weeks of August to be the best on balance.

I would never in a million years go to Florida in August. It is hot, humid, prone to a LOT of rain, the odd hurricane - definitely not guaranteed good weather that you need for a two week holiday in Florida. It is cheaper and less busy then for a reason ... just google it ...

There is an undercurrent to his behaviour which doesn’t sit well with me.

Why would he not want to sit down and discuss it with you until a compromise is reached?

Why is it all about what he wants?

I'm not saying that what he's done is a good thing but if you do end up going, we went in August last year and it was amazing so don't let that time of year put you off. Yes its hot but the majority of rides / queues are indoors and its all air conditioned and as its the low season the queues were small (most under 20 minutes). Where has he booked you to stay? We stayed at one of the disney hotels and it was so good using the Disney transport (also air con'd) to get everywhere as you could make the most of coming back to the hotel and play in the pool for a bit and go back out for the fireworks.
We went with our 6 year old and he loved it and still talks about it all the time so if you do go I wish you the best of time :)

Sod that, it pissed down in Florida when I was there in August. I’d be extremely angry about him using the children against you, that needs addressing very strongly. Is he expecting massive gratitude? How will you afford the renovations and this? Why did he do it when you said you’d rather not?

Unfortunately if it's tap water it is really heavily chlorinated and tastes horrible.

You cannot compare Paris Disney to Florida Disney!
Paris is absolutely shocking in comparison I’m sure they will absolutely love Florida

The deal he got was good because it's peak hurricane season in Augus. There is a real risk you'll all spend the time hiding from a hurricane ( know someone who did). If you can change to a different time of year, combine with fact that your children will be a year older by then, it might be ok. But really crappy of him to book after you said no.

I was thinking about taking our 2 year old twins ti Disney land Paris before they had to pay and one day at Legoland during term time (quiet, short queues, coolish weather) made me realise that a few days at Disney would not be fun for anyone. Can you send your husband on a day to a big theme park in the UK, thorpe park, alton towers etc on his own with the kids to see how he finds it as a trial run?

This is exactly what I would do. I would go quit now. As it gets closer, if he mentions it I would remind him that I wasn't going but there is no way I would go on this holiday. It's far too loaded.

If he really thinks his behaviour is okay and doesn't back down, I think this is marriage ending, to be honest.

It doesn't matter about the reasons (there's nothing unreasonable about you not wanting to go and nothing unreasonable about him wanting to go). Or who is paying. A two week family holiday is something you need to be in agreement on. He has over ridden you. It's a direct challenge to the idea of you being a partnership with equal say.

I don't think it's wise to stay with someone who sees your marriage like that. It's not something that necessarily needs immediate action (like physical or emotional abuse does), but I would be looking for how to get myself into a good position to leave him when it best suited me and the children. In particular, I would ensure my career was on track to sustain me and would start to prioritise my earning power over his. Since you say he has more money than you and he seems to think that is largely what gives him the right to ignore you, it sounds like you've probably been putting your career on the back burner to ensure he can increase his earning power - that needs to stop.

hurricane season is between June and November so if you consider that you would never go in the summer! It’s also not (generally) a rain all day situation. Rain and thunderstorms are quite normal as it is a sub tropical area. I have been to Florida more times than I can count in one hand - always in August and I never had 2 weeks in a row of rain for the whole day. Those accounts are mainly because Erin was going through (which it now has!).

Honestly I’d probably just get on board now, he’s a prick but your kids are excited, he’s manipulating the situation and you’re arguing over it. I would say you either reevaluate your marriage because he’s been so dismissive and not treated you like an equal partner - which is valid, but maybe not something you’d be willing to LTB for lol. So instead I’d just think bugger it. Make the best out of it and start looking at ways to make sure you all enjoy it. Disney needs ALOT of planning to make it enjoyable

If my DH did this. I would let him go and take the children then stay home and relax.

however this doesn’t solve the issue of him doing something against your wishes without further consultation. This isn’t good.

I think his behaviour is nasty bullying. Committing a lot of family money (total cost uncertain) to something you don’t want, without your agreement, at a time of other high household expenses. Involving the DC. Saying you should feel grateful.

Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s also financially abusive and controlling in other ways.

Let him go and take the children you stay home and deal with the house repairs!

I think you need to go through your list of objections and decide which are valid. The weather is obviously a big issue. And your DH's willingness to book an expensive holiday without discussion. Your younger DD's age probably matters less - she will be 2 years older than when she went to Disneyland Paris.

I expect he did get a good deal and no doubt he's proud of himself, but from what knowledgeable people are saying about Florida in August I think we can now see why.

He is dramatically missing the point. He needs to explain how in his head it is okay for him to discuss the idea with you, ignore everything you have said, go ahead with it anyway, and then invite the children to take sides.

He is behaving like a primary schoolgirl of the sort I didn't like around my daughters. And how come he's put down a non-refundable deposit? I have to say this doesn't say much for his financial acumen either.

You are not being unreasonable. Put your foot down, scratch the trip next year and tell the girls they shall go to Disney but at a sensible time and with proper planning.

I went to Disney in late August one year and it was very hot, BUT we found it manageable and had a great time. I did plan the days very thoroughly. It was incomparably better than Disney Paris; we liked Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom more than Magic Kingdom. We also loved Universal because we are massive Harry Potter fans. We also went to the space centre. Easily filled a 10 day trip combined with travel. We had had enough of theme parks by the end.

However, I would be extremely unimpressed if DH booked an expensive, supposedly family holiday that I'd explicitly said no to. Wherever it was to. I would say there are deeper issues here.

The issue here in this marriage is that DH is the boss and doesn't allow his wife to make decisions. He's a controlling wanker.

I think they are an ideal age to enjoy the magic of it all but the time of year I'd reconsider make it later in the year will give you more time to plan and save. Look in to a villa rather than stay on parks it's much more chill but you'd need a car and to book flights separately Windsor hills is a great place its a gated community and you can rent a town house with your own dip pool we had a star wars themed villa saw it on vrbo but i booked it privately with the owners there's a massive Walmart right nearby you get some downtime in a villa to recharge. It's a great experience and if done right you'll have an amazing time.

Absolutely - power hungry, controlling big boss man.

I feel for the OP, her husband has no respect for her.

Florida takes a lot of planning you don't mention the kids ages but mine were 6 and 9 they loved it as the magic of meeting the characters was amazing we went back in their teens and it was totally different vibe. August not a good month avoid May to September it's hot and can rain heavily April is great and October.

Firstly, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. The idea of my husband making such a big financial commitment without us discussing and agreeing first would upset me.

I think this is a conversation that is needed about you both having a say in big decisions and your feelings being listened to and respected.

However, having said that, I wanted to try and offer some reassurance if you do decide to go ahead with it. We went to Florida in August a few years ago when my DD was almost 9 and my DS was 12. (This was 18 months after a February trip to Disneyland Paris that nearly broke our relationship.) I had my reservations about the time of year, the weather and the crowds as well as the cost.
It was not a relaxing holiday in the slightest but it was magical! My DCs were the perfect age, my DD loved the magic of the characters and the smaller family rides, whereas my DS enjoyed the bigger rides. We did split off into pairs for some of it but had lots of time together too.
Yes it cost a lot, but you can do things on a budget if you plan ahead, such as taking snacks/shopping off site for food/buying merch from the outlets.
Join groups, watch bloggers and plan out your time carefully.
It was ridiculously hot and there were a lot of storms, but they were heavy and short and didn’t bother us much. Take cooling towels, neck fans and refillable water bottles as well as ponchos and you will be prepared for the weather.
If you do decide to go ahead with the holiday I hope you have a great time and your DH listens to you and respects your feelings going forward. xx