AIBU to think people are rude re party invitations

Totally rude. My son has a party this weekend and only 10 of 19 have responded so far. It takes 2 minutes to send a text saying yes or no.
I am a single mother of 2 small children and I work, yet I’m more than capable of sending a text saying yes or no. Astounds me that some people find this difficult.

With modern communications available, even simpler to respond.

It’s incredibly rude not to RSVP. I think people these days have a lack of manners, the same sort of people who also don’t send a thank you card or text for gifts!

Because they are generally on WhatsApp and you can see. Not had a paper invite in years!

Yeah last week I invited the whole class to my son's party and had 3 replies. Makes it easier for me but he's really well liked so I think it's unfair on the kids that the parents can't be arsed. I'm going to get him to gee them up at school next week.

Am I the only one who has no idea who the other kids in my dc's nursery class are? Aside from one who is DC's favourite friend?

Definitely don't know the parents. It's a big nursery and any parents crossed at pick up time are from other years.

My dc does have friends and a party, just with friends from life outside of nursery.

How would you know how many people are invited when deciding to respond?

I agree with one of the earlier posts - 30 kids is far too many to invite (and very brave of you!) If I got an invite with that many children, I probably wouldn’t prioritise replying. I would respond eventually (as I do think it’s rude not to), but it wouldn’t be top of my list, especially if I realised it was a “whole class” party. That said, I’ve got a good memory so I’d remember to reply, but many people might genuinely forget, so not everyone is being rude. My DD sometimes gets invited to whole-class parties, and usually if replies are slow, a polite reminder goes out a week before with a list of who’s attending. That tends to prompt a few more responses, mostly “no’s.”

How can you have done one a few years ago when she is still at nursery unless she Was a year old??
bursery parties are such a pita, so we always do a combined one- cuts out alot of the admin

surely that's absolutely fine and completely polite?

you get an invitation, you see if a) you want to go, b) you can go and you RSVP yes or no. Total non issue

nothing like that ever happens in any of the class whatsapp group I am on 😂

I would love the see the outraged/ offended/ shamed threads from parents if someone did *inform everyone up front how many there are and who is coming *on a class whatsapp group 😂😂

We don't even put class party invit's on these groups, no need to flood them with so much random nonsense

at least now we know why some people are crumbling under the "mental load" if you make such a big deal out of nothing 😂

it's all started to make sense

We take a nice gift

Don’t spend money on nice gifts. What do other kids buy? Spend a fiver.

I'm confused.. you had a party a few years back but your kid is still in nursery? So was it a party for babies? That you asked the whole nursery class to?

Especially over the holidays, it’s very normal for people to lose track of plans in early September. Yes it’s rude but it’s also very easy to lose / forget about a paper invitation that could easily get mixed up with the three billion other things that come home from nursery / school.

Any way of nudging / reminding people of the date? No you shouldn’t have to do this ideally, but it happens and it’s always v helpful. It certainly helps with rsvps.

Our child was slightly older but got one invitation from a child we asked who they were our child had absolutely no idea so we politely declined, weekends are busy enough and are not for endless kids parties of random kids we have no idea about

Everyone. It’s called a class WhatsApp group.

When my daughter gets an invite to Quentin’s party and she has no idea who Quentin is, I know it’s a spam invite.

It takes 2 seconds to check

No it doesn’t. You’ve just come home from nursery, you’re going through the bag to see if anything needs cleaned, you toddler is hyper, they need a snack or the toilet or a nappy change. The invite sits on the table. Then you see it when you are making dinner, but your other child(ren) also need help with their homework. You get them fed and are doing the dishes, you see it again, but it’s nearly bedtime, the toddler needs a bath, the older ones are telling you about their day/having a fight/reminding you it’s world book day tomorrow and they want to dress up. You get all that sorted, kids in bed and finally sit down with a cuppa. Then you remember the invite. If you have the energy, you get back up, find the invite, try and remember where you put your phone, you find it then spend some time crafting a message that doesn’t reflect your annoyance, you send it, but they haven’t responded. Did they get it? Have you used the right number? Do they know you RSVPd? And you’re doing this once a week, per child.

Stop pretending adding “one tiny bit” of admin to parents isn’t a problem.

Guarantee the people moaning about inviting the whole class would also be the ones moaning about their precious DC NOT being invited if you only invited half.

absolutely this

don't be so ridiculous. What happens that you have such a ridiculous chip on your shoulder?

It is rude full stop not to reply.

Do you think the OP sent the guest list with the invitation, so people actually know how many and who is coming? 😂

inform everyone up front how many there are and who is coming
who does that? 😂
😂

Do you have a class WhatsApp group to stick it in there? For the whole class invites it’s easier to manage and less prone to the message getting lost.

Not at all. If my daughter wasn’t invited to a party, it’s because it wasn’t one of her friends having a party.

The staff in the room will tell you who your child is friends with.

YANBU. People are appalling at RSVPing at our school. I include a deadline date, and I do individually catch in person/Watsapp each parent to chase after that deadline as I want an answer either way for final numbers. Some are apologetic about their poor manners, some are oblivious. I am sick of it.

A whole class party is not the way to do this. I’ve never understood the point of hiring a massive venue for a kid’s party unless you are doing a big family event. No child has 30 friends they want to celebrate their birthday with. I never went to these. And having to deal with the invites was just a whole other level of admin I had to remember to do. Some rando puts an invite in my child’s bag or whatever, I don’t know the child, nor the parent, but I’m the one who is rude if I don’t reach out and decline the invitation? At one point our daughter was coming back with one or two of these in a week, it was ridiculous.

If you’d like my child to come to your child’s party, come and talk to me. If you’d don’t know me, then you don’t know her, and your child probably doesn’t spend any time with her either. Your invite is on the same level as spam emails, sending out a mass mailing in the hope you have good numbers at your party. It isn’t my responsibility to respond to you.